Skrillmau5
by MyLittleSongbird
Summary: When Sonny Moore leaves his troubles behind him and joins the homeless community, he meets Joel Zimmerman, a man who is famous in town as his disguise "The Deadmouse". Sonny and Joel struggle to survive a life on the streets. What will happen?
1. Chapter 1 Strobe

Finally! It's done! Sonny Moore has been up all night creating, yet another, remix of his Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites, and all he really wanted to do was crash of his nice, soft bed and sleep. As he laid there, silence took the best of him. He always wished he had someone to be there to hold him and keep him warm from the awful draft seeping from the window of his apartment. But whatever. He sure as hell wasn't going to share his Frosted Flakes with some partner. But a boy can only dream, right?

He's had a relationship before, but he didn't know whether to call it that or not... it was a very confusing scenario that he didn't have the energy to think about at that moment. All he could think about was why he was the only one who couldn't get a grilfriend... well, he _was_ 5'4'', which didn't really help him stand up against the bigger males in school. He scratched his head and sighed when he took a big fist-full of long, black hair. No wonder he's been called unintelligent names before like _"faggot" _and _"Princess". _His mom absolutely hated the idea of Sonny cutting off all of his "beautiful" hair, as much as he begged her to. It seemed like all she wanted to do was cause Sonny pain at school...

School... oh how he hated the word. It lingered in his mind and on his tongue, the dreaded thought of even attending the hell-hole drove him crazy. He couldn't wait to get school over with. He only had another... 2 years till he graduated? He could manage...

Sonny let out a deep sigh and ate his Frosted Flakes in silence that morning, indifferent from any other morning so far. His mom was at work and his dad had left on his "work vacation" that very morning, something he did regularily every month. Sonny has never really spent time with him ever sinse he's been assigned the new job. Sonny's never been around male influences often. And now that Sonny was alone, like usual, and school wouldn't be starting in another hour or so, he took his sweet time and wondered into his bedroom, peeling off his pajamas and putting on his uniform. For a Catholic school who's motto is something along the lines of _"zero-bully tollerence"_, Sonny sure didn't feel very safe attending it.

He looked in the mirror after he buttoned up his dress-shirt and sighed, seeing as now his hair was growing past his shoulders. A mop of black mess... that's what it was. He gradually tried to brush it without succession and just retired after a few tries.

When he walked to school, it was probably the safest and happiest times of the day. Out of his shabby apartment and down the filthy streets. He couldn't help but rush by the creepy dead end alley ways where he was certain there were murderers lurking. But he still didn't feel the need to hurry, he would rather be kidnapped and raped then attend school.

And when he got to school, he walked down to his locker and paused. He stared at the signs taped to the metal door. He heard some snickers and decided not to look at the assholes who did this. The signs were drawn in a thick, black marker that gave off a strong, unpleasent scent. The only sign that really caught Sonny's eye was one that was coloured a rainbow collision of the signs read unclever statements, such as _"go to hell, fag"._

Sonny just ripped the signs off his locker and threw them to the floor. This happened almost every day to him. He was at the point of snapping soon, he can feel it in his gut. But instead, he just rustled around in his locker until he found his books, but stopped when he felt a thin hand touch his shoulder. He turned around to see the worried eyes of Mrs. Parker.

"Please come with me, Mr. Moore." She said, clearly unhappy with him. He bit his lip.

Next thin he knew he was in the principal's office with his mom, the big man himself, and Mrs. Parker. All with the same disspointed expressions.

"Sonny, we're concerned of your negative behavior and work ethics here at Saint Valentine," Mr. Orlando stated bluntly, running a hand over his balding head, "It's a shame that your mother has to go out of her way to meet with us right now, but we're all just very concerned at what brought this to be," He folded his hands infront of him on the desk.

"All he's been doing was playing with his damn laptop, making terrible noises with his gadgets. What's it called again? Dob-tob or something?" His mother all but yelled at Sonny. He could feel the steam build up in his body, but he let out the struggling air and looked down at his messy uniform pants.

"Dubstep," He answered quietly, "And it's not noise... it's music,"

"It certainly sounds like a bunch of crap -parden my language- to me." She said to him.

Sonny wasn't much to argue. He liked to keep to himself unless he was happy or excited about something, and right now, it certainly wasn't the fact that he might have to go to summer school... He's had dreams... dreams that he ran away from school and was care-free, off with his computer in arm and his problems out the window.. but he started to feel a bit nervous. He wanted to cry, but didn't want to show anyone how weak he was. Instead he made up a plan in his head as his mom and the principals were busy with their little chat. He wanted to do it this time... he wanted to get up and run away from all of his problems. He felt the danger of adrenaline course through his veins as he quickly got up from his seat...

"Sonny, you'll be under school suspension until further notice, please get your books from your locker and come straight back," Principal Orlando said.

Sonny nodded obediantly and turned to walk out of the office. He later noticed Mrs. Parker following him and he sighed to himself. He was so ready to leave...

Joel Zimmerman sat on the streets, his feet propped up against an old garbage can, and his headphones around his ears. He had his cat in his lap who was sleeping away at the soft beat of Joel's music, seeping from his iPod. Joel spent his mornings out on the streets, and his night sneaking into the local raves, fully clothed, with his signature look. Plaid shirt, ripped jeans, and a giant, full-faced, self-built helmet in resemblance to the head of a mouse. He was known as _"The Deadmouse"._

All he really had to live for was his gray iPod Nano, his cat Meowington, and his mouse head. And that was honestly all he needed.

Did he miss his parents? Of course not! He was all grown up now and wasn't going to take any of their bullshit anymore. And as he thought about his old home, a sadness washed over him. He's tried getting jobs, friends, relationships, but nothing worked out for him. He missed his boyfriend. The one person in the whole entire world who could've made him happy has dumped him ass out on the street. And now Joel was filled with rage. The sun began to set, and so his raving shall begin. He got up from the ground and picked up Meowington, walking over to the pizzaria and placing him on the doorstep. He did his signature knock on the door and heard a little girl yell "I'll get it!"

The little girl who helped out there spent time with Joel and looked after his cat when he was gone. Her name was Melody, and according to her, Joel reminded her of a big teddy bear, even though he was awfully skinny. She would sneak him out a pizza slice or two everytime he visited her in the alley way where the door led outside to the trash. She was the cutest girl ever. Dark hair, dark eyes, a slight tan to her skin, a pure Italiano. He liked spending time with her, but sadly he wasn't allowed to be seen with her. He was homeless and a mess and her dad had shooed him away a couple times. He would have his head the next time he was seen lurking around in the shadows, awaiting his daughter to come out and feed him. Joel shuddered at the creepy thought for a second.

She unlocked the door and stepped out, shutting the door behind her.

"Hey Joel!"

"Hey Melody! Meowington missed you," Joel smiled at the little girl as she grinned.

"I missed him too! And you!" She exclaimed, leaping into Joel's arms.

He swung the little girl around and gave her a tiny squeeze, then set her down on the steps again. She wrinkled her nose slightly as she picked up Meowington.

"Pee-yoo! What smells?" She asked, fanning her hand infront of her face.

Joel blushed. Because he's been sleeping near the dumps, he really began to smell bad. He needed to take a swim in the lake soon. The freezing cold lake.

"Sorry, my clothes havn't been washed in a while," He sheepishly admits with a tiny chuckle.

"Oh... no I think it's Meowington," She said, sniffing the cat, and then recoiling away from him, "Yeah, definatley him,"

Joel laughed and rubbed the girl's hair.

"Well I'll see you in the morning sweetheart," He said, turning to leave.

"Wait! I brought pizza!" She said, handing him a large tupperwear container filled with tiny slices, "Keep the container and bring it back everytime you visit! That way I can fill it up and you don't have to starve all the time!" She smiled.

Joel's eyes filled with tears as he smiled down at the little girl and took the container from her hands, hugging her and kissing her forhead.

"Thank you," He whispered, his voice breaking as he did so.

"What's wrong?" She asked, looking upset.

"Nothing, nothing, just got something in my eye," He smiled.

He ate his pizza until the sun was fully set. That was his qeue to get going. He went into a box near a garbage can and took out his paper-mashette mouse head. The big, white foam-ball eyes weren't very white anymore, and the black duct tape that was creating X's over them was peeling off. The white screen that made up the mouth peice certainly needed cleaning, but it will do for tonight. He put it over his head and looked through the mouth peice and onto the street. He took a step onto the sidewalk, out of the shadows, and walked toward the rave. He got a lot of stares, yes, but he couldn't car less. Nobody knew who he really was... everyone knew him as _"The Deadmouse"._

Sonny knew what he had to do. He packed his backpack with a few things he thought he would need while out on the streets (toothbrush, toothpaste, a few sandwiches, his iPod Touch, and his laptop). He then snuck into his parents bedroom and went straight for his dad's side of the bed. He knew what he kept in the bottom compartment of the drawer... cigarettes.

Sonny always wanted to try one ever since he smelled it on his dad's breath when he was younger. He was reaching for the package until he heard the slight click of his mom's feet in the living room. She was close. He shut the drawer quickly and bolted out of the room and back into his bed. He pretended to be sleeping until he couldn't hear his mom anymore. The cigarettes would have to wait until the coast was clear, but by the time Sonny heard nothing but silence... he drifted into a peaceful sleep. Having dreams, yet again, about his success running away...

Joel knew everyone at the rave (well, almost everyone). Everyone knew him as well. He was the only one wearing a giant, red mouse hat, so of course he would be recognized. And the thing he liked to do was dance, but the thing he hated most was having to explain himself to people. He didn't talk much to anyone. The longest conversations he's had were with Melody.

He thought about the little girl as he sat on the leather couch at the back and just rested his neck from the heavy mouse head. She had such a creative imagination and he envied her youthful spirit. There were some days when Joel felt out of place, like he was just too old to do the things he enjoyed most in life. As he thought about this, he didn't realize that a girl dressed very revealingly came strutting his way. He looked at her and rolled his eyes, obviously not into the big breasted, tiny waisted figure but he had to keep his game up. He wanted to keep a good reputation.

She took a seat next to him and started to talk to him, he began to half-heartedly respond to her obscene questions. He didn't want anyone to know who he was, afraid they might judge him or worse, kick him out. She took the tiny movement well and continued to talk. But then she started to run her fingers up and down his leg. He pressed his lip together and decided it was best not to move, not to show emotion to this familiar touch. She kissed the mouse head and then tried to look through the mesh, but failed to see him. She got up from her seat and swung a leg over Joel, straddling his lap.

"I've never fucked The Deadmouse before..." She whispered into the mesh.

Joel blushed. He didn't want to fuck her. He just wanted to sit there and rest his neck a bit. He was feeling a little hot... a little in need of a good release... He just sat back as she ground her hips into his. He held back a moan and closed his eyes, not wanting to see the girl. She then pounded her hips once against his and he let out a whimper.

"You like that?" She asked, doing it once again.

He did like it. He held her hips and encouraged her to keep doing what she was doing. And so she did. She opened Joel's collar a bit to show his neck and she left soft hickies against the rough skin. He moaned when he felt her tongue trace his collar bones. He could feel a pressure start to build in his lower area as an erection forms. She stops and gets off him, taking his hand and leading him to the back room.

She pushes Joel against a nearby table and unzips his fly. Joel's blush increased because he hasn't shaved yet and was scared at the girl's reaction. But she reacted perfectly fine and pulled his pants and boxers to his ankles. She looked at the mesh, but they didn't meet eyes, which meant he was still safe with his identity.

She kissed the tip of Joel's penis and he leaned his head back.

She took half his length in her warm, moist mouth and he could feel the bumps on her tongue massage his erection. He moaned and rested his head onto the table. This was the kind of action that made him feel younger.

She sucked a bit and then pulled it out of her mouth. She kissed the tip once again and it went back into her mouth. Her hands began to massage his testicles as she swallowed his cock, each time going in a little deeper. He moaned and let out a sigh of pleasure. She smiled around his erection and he felt her lips get tighter. His breathing hitched as she went faster and faster at swallowing. He snaked his fingers through her hair and pushed her further down on him. He let out another moan and bit his lip.

He was close. He began to pump his hips into her mouth, in which she started to get the rhythm of it and followed along with the flow. He took in a deep breath and stopped his hips. He felt, just then, a great wash of relief as he came into the stranger's mouth. She let go and spat up a bit onto the floor, but wiped her mouth and got up from her crouching position. She smiled and Joel and Joel smiled back, even though she couldn't see it.

"Thanks," She said and turned to leave.

It took a while to catch his breath, but he did and sooner or later pulled up his pants. He just stared at the door, and sighed. He walked up to the door and locked it, taking off his mouse head and running a hand down his face. He wasn't quite sure where to go from there, but he took out his cigarettes that were tucked into the mouse head and lit one, popping it into his mouth and inhaling the smoke with a long, deep drag. He blew the smoke out and watched it linger in the air.

He then heard footsteps and pressed his cigarette into the ashtray sitting at the corner of the table.

"Ugh, you again," A tall women with long, white hair stood at the front of the door and raised an eyebrow, stroking a white and orange cat in her arms, "These cats don't know how to keep the mice out," She eyed Joel.

Joel laughed and walked up to the women, snatching the cat from her arms, "Now why would they do that?" He cooed to the fluffy creature in his arms.

The women rolled her eyes, "Fine, stay... just no more smoking in here, you're going to get thise place shut down,"

"Fine, won't happen again," Joel smiled and put the cat onto the floor.

"Now get out, I don't want to have to clean after your pellets," The women shooed Joel away and then stopped and sniffed the air, "Aww, come on, you didn't!"

Joel blushed and shrugged, putting on a cheesey smiled, "It was just a blowjob,"

"It;s never going to happen again, right?" She raised and eyebrow and put her hands on her hips.

"Okay, mom," He rolled his eyes and tucked his cigarettes back into the head, "Oh and also, one more thing..."

"What?" She barked.

"You shouldn't wear tall heels like that, it just makes you look freakish,"

"OUT!" She yelled and pushed him to the door.

He adjusted his mouse head back onto his head and unlocked the door, stepping back out into the heat of the club and the blinding lights of the strobe.


	2. Chapter 2 Arguru

**AN: Hey everyone, this chapter hasn't changed much, but please enjoy!**

* * *

Sonny did his morning rutine and was driven to school that day, his mom making sure he didn't take a detour. The thought of running away was now so fresh in his mind. He had to do it, before time ran out. He looked both ways and when the coast was clear, he leaped out of the car.

"Sonny, why do you have your laptop?" His mother asked, a thin, black eyebrow raised above her makeupless face. He swallowed the lump in his throat.

"Project," Was the only word he could say, but it was enough. His mother nodded as he closed the door and walked up to the school to meet today's fate.

More unintelligent signs clung to his locker, by this time, Sonny didn't really care to rip them off. He shoved his backpack in and shut the metal door. Soon he was going to be out of there...

He made his way to the principal's office after being dragged there by Mrs. Parker. As he sat in the back room with his books, he just sketched images of the things he saw around him. He waited a while and dug through his mind for answers.

Even though he was only 15, he's been having alot of weird dreams. Some consisting of things he would never think of on a regular basis, like sex. He bit his lip and stared at his desk. Sure he's watched porn before, but his dreams have been so elaborate and real. He mindlessly began to rub his thigh, but then stopped. What was he doing? He wasn't about to masturbate in the principal's office, as much as he would have. He played with his pencil a bit and looked at the time, his lips pressed into a straight line as he realized there was about 3 hours till lunch. He sighed miserably and slammed his head onto the desk. If only he had a cell phone like normal people, he could go online or something. Anything to take away his boredom.

Sonny looked at his paper once more and actually took in all that he has drawn. One of the pictures was a lamp post. Big deal. Another were the flowers set on the principal's windowcil. The yellows and oranges of the flowers really brought out the dullness of the office itself. But then, Sonny's eye caught something on his paper. A man was on the front cover, wearing regular everyday clothing. But the thing that really was weird about the man was that he wore a giant full-faced helmet in the shape of a mouse head. Sonny was suddenly interested as to where he's seen this before. He looked around and finally witnessed the folded up newspaper that was laying in the trash. Sonny picked it up and straightened out the paper.

_"The Deadmouse?"_. Who was that? Sonny decided to read the rest of the collunm on page 3.

_"'_The Deadmouse',_ as every local raver may know, has, yet again, appeared at the _'Sunset Center' _east of _Calling Street. _Will the mouse ever reveal his true self?"_

As Sonny read on, he started developing a slight facination of the mystery man. He could only wish that he could go out in public and not look like a complete tool all the time. As Sonny read on, he started to sketch the man and the helmet, adding and erasing things on the mouse head. Ryhnstones, flashing lights, flowers, synthetic designs. Sonny laughed at his own work and continued on this cycle for what seemed like only three minutes, but the lunch bell finally rang.

Sonny looked up at the clock in surprise. He quickly grabbed his drawings and put them in his shirt. He slipped out of the office and was walking down the halls. He stood proud and felt like he was 7 feet tall, but instantly shrank when he saw Mrs. Parker running towards him.

"What do you think you're doing?" She yelled at him. Sonny jumped a bit and froze in place. He could smell the alchohol on her breath.

"I-I-I-I," He couldn't speak.

"Oh, sweety, were you just getting lunch?" She asked. He nodded quickly and couldn't meet her eyes. She chuckled and rubbed his head, "Sorry, I thought you were running away. Here's some change for lunch," She handed him a ten. She was clearly drunk.

He looked at it with huge eyes and waited until she waddled into the office, then he booked it to his locker, grabbed his backpack and ran the oppisite way and out the exit.

He didn't stop running until he met the edge of the park about a kilometer away. He then gasped for breath as he stopped to look back at the school. He smiled to himself and started to laugh. He did it. He was free. He looked away from the school and off into the streets. He breathed in the scent of grime and freedom. He decided to take a seperate route then he normally did, just to explore. As he walked down the street with his bag slung over his shoulder, he looked around his cautiously, making sure nobody was around to take him back to school. But as he walked, he could smell a warm, fresh smell coming from the local pizzaria. Well, with ten bucks to spare, he could grab a slice. So that's what he did.

* * *

Joel was reading the newspaper as he walked down the street, ready to go pick up Meowingtons. He laughed at last night's story and just threw the paper in the garbage. What a joke. He knew he was popular and all, but not _newspaper _popular. Who in the hell of this city would even read a story about a man wearing such a ridiculous outfit in public? Joel remembered all the crazy shit he saw in New York when he lived there with his boyfriend briefly. He shrugged the thought off and continued his walk. He held the giant box at arm that held the mousehead, and his iPod was, once again, blasting in his ears. He couldn't wait to get Meowingtons and maybe get a job.

He needed a place to stay more then anything. The colder seasons were coming through and he didn't want to beg anymore. He needed help. He walked up to the pizzaria and into the alleyway. He did his signature knock, awaiting the tiny voice of Melody, but then froze. There was silence. He did the knock again, but this time when the door opened, a bigger man came out with Meowingtons in his arm and a grim look on his face.

"Get the fuck away from my daughter, you pedophile!" He yelled and tossed Meowingtons towards him.

Joel caught the cat, dropping the box to the floor. It opened just a bit to reveal a big red ear. He quickly put Meowingtons on the floor and shoved the head back into the box.

"Get out of here!" The man yelled again and pushed Joel backwards. He slammed into the wall and by that point, he was frightened to death.

"I'm not a pedophile!" Joel yelled back.

"Than stop sliming around people's young, defensless children!" He yelled one last time, punched Joel square in the jaw and left the scene, cowardly running back into the pizzaria.

Joel sunk to the ground and began to hiss in pain. He's never been punched before. The pain was so endearing that it made Joel's eyes fill with tears. He was never going to see Melody again... she was like his best friend. His _only_ friend (well, human friend). Joel began to cry.

"H-hey there," He heard a tiny voice. He looked up quickly and saw a boy. A short, younger-looking boy with a square face, shabby clothing and long, black hair.

Sonny couldn't help but wonder what a grown man was doing, crying like he's just come back from his dad's funeral, with a box. A small black and white cat came running up to Sonny, leaping into his arms. Sonny was startled for a second, but the softness of the cat made him feel happier and braver. He walked up to the older man and stuck out a hand for him.

"Here," He said, shaking his hand a bit to get the man's attention. "I'm Sonny,"

The man raised an eyebrow and took the younger man's hand. Sonny tried to hoist the man up, but he got up on his own and shook Sonny's hand.

"Joel," He stated, wiping away his tears and grabbing his box. He looked at Meowingtons and directed him into the box.

Sonny caught a glimpse as to what was in the box. Big. Red. Round. Sonny gasped.

"Y-you're... _'The Deadmouse'_," He whispered. Joel sighed and closed the box slightly once his cat was secure inside.

"Yup," Joel stated and pushed Sonny aside, "And if you don't mind, I'm going to go now,"

"W-wait a second!" Sonny grabbed onto Joel's hand. Joel felt a shock of lightning rush through him from the skin-on-skin contact. He hasn't been touched like that in years. He sighed.

"What, kid?" He asked, a little annoyed.

Sonny didn't really know what to say. Now that he's found _The Deadmouse, _he was unsure of what to do, so he just let go of his hand and felt a great nervousness wash over him. Joel's face was cleaner than any other homeless man's have been, and he was shaven. He smelled kind of good, so what was wrong with him? Was Joel actually homeless? If he wasn't, why did the owner tell him to stop lurking about his daughter? Why did he punch Joel? He _must _be homeless...

"I'm homeless," Sonny said, feeling a sence of pride in himself, "I just ran away from home... maybe you ca-"

"What? Help you? I don't need your fucking sap story, kid," Joel snorted and began to walk away. Sonny felt the anger boil up in him again. Nobody has to hear what he has to say and it's been causing him a great amount of stress.

"I can help you! You can help me! We can help each other!" Sonny yelled. Joel stopped and quickly turned to look at him. He took two long strides and grabbed Sonny's collar. He pushed him up against the wall. Joel looked him dead in the eyes.

"I don't need you... you don't need me... I've been living on these streets for 2 years now, Tony-"

"Sonny," Sonny corrected.

"What?" Joel asked, clearly not impressed with the kid's attitude toward him.

Sonny growled and pushed Joel away from him.

"My name's Sonny Moore. And I'm not a kid, I'm 15," He said.

Joel laughed and lightened up a bit. He remembered when he was 15 and had big city dreams, trying to stand up to people bigger then he was. He just sighed and smiled.

"Well I'm Joel Zimmerman, I'm 19 years old," He stuck out his hand. "Nice to meet you, Sonny-boy,"

Sonny swallowed a hard lump of courage and shook the man's hand. Joel was still technically a kid too. He wanted to hear his story.

"So I'm guessing you're wondering what I'm doing sitting here, crying like a fucking child who just wet their pants on their way to Sunday school," He laughed again and motioned Sonny to follow him. They walked down the street and Sonny was looking everywhere he possibly could, taking in the new scenery of the city. He felt such a rush of adrenaline.

"I am," Sonny nodded, back to his quieter self.

"Welp," Joel started, they were at the park again. Sonny felt a little nervous as he peered back at the far away school. "It all started when I, similar to you, ran away from home. It was a nice summer day and me and a couple buddies decided to go out partying. You know, get our drinks on," He chuckled, a far-away look in his eyes as he continued, "I came home drunk, not knowing any better, and waking up my parents. They started to yell... and my parents, my God, they yell every day and every night. It just never fucking stops." He shook his head and then looked down at Meowingtons in his lap now, purring softly at his touch, "Well that night my parents, after they were done yelling at me and hitting me, they started on each other. Yelling and screaming and I just remember having a huge headache," He chuckled, "They were both massive alchoholics. They were abusive. They cheated on each other, stole from each other. Stole from _me,_" He pressed his lips together breifly and closed his eyes, leaning his head back slightly. "I left then and there. Nothing to protect myself. No money, no cell phone. Only my iPod," He showed Sonny his silver iPod nano and tucked it away safetly in his pocket. He took a deep breath. "The only other place I knew of was my, erm, boyfriend at the time," He looked quickly over at Sonny to see his reaction, but he didn't move. Sonny just stared at Meowingtons as Joel pet him. He let out a sigh of relief.

"What happened then?" Sonny asked. "How did you become _'The Deadmouse'_?_"_

Joel raised an eyebrow at Sonny. He just met Joel and Joel has _never _talked to a person for this long before. Except for Melody.

"Well, one day at my boyfriend's house, we were on the computer. I had to change the video card, and we found this fucking dead mouse just stuck in there," He laughed, remembering the time, "But after he kicked me out of the apartment, I've been homeless and bored and was just picking through the trash at the dump. I found a whole bunch of awesome shit in there, so I created the mouse head." He shrugged and opened the lid of the box so that only they could see it.

"Oh," Sonny nodded, "So is it just to keep your identity safe?"

"Well, that, and it just looks fucking cool and all the chicks seem to dig it when I fuck them with it on," He laughed. Sonny blushed and looked down at his hands. Joel stopped laughing and looked at Sonny with a raised eyebrow, "Dude... you're not still a..."

Sonny looked at Joel with a clenched jaw. Joel's eyes widened and he smiled big.

"You're a fucking virgin!" He yelled.

"Shhh!" Sonny grabbed Joel's shoulders, "Shut the fuck up! It's not funny!" He hissed.

"Calm down, it's cool," Joel put his hands up in surrender, "But seriously? Like look at you, you're fucking sexy!"

Sonny's blush deepened because, first, nobody has _ever _called him _sexy _before, and two, he didn't know if Joel was joking or not.

It was a strange feeling Joel got when he looked at Sonny. It felt like he was looking into the past at himself, willing himself to do all the crazy shit before he got too old to enjoy it. And that's exactly what he wanted for Sonny, to take him under his wing and show him a real adventure. With a face like his and a mind like Joel's, they would create great chaos. It was fortunate enough that the boy was homeless and looking for a little street-wise help, but to gain a new friend and hopefully companion, now that sounded like music to his ears. Joel wanted to create something out of Sonny.

"Well... your hair now... it needs something," Joel closed an eye and looked at Sonny with a frown. Sonny raised an eyebrow when he saw Joel's hand cover half Sonny's face. "Aha! We're going to make you into an updated version of Ellen fucking Page!" Joel smiled.

"Isn't she bald now?"

"I said _updated_, didn't I?" He gave Sonny an evil grin. Sonny swallowed hard.

Sonny groaned. He wondered why Joel was being so open to him. They weren't even technically friends. But just an hour later, Sonny felt the left side of his head burn. He could see all his black hair falling to the ground and Joel snipped away, but Sonny trusted the stranger. He kept his fingers crossed that it would look at least better then his mess before.

"Ta-da!" Joel took a step back to admire his work, "Man, do I know how to pick 'em," He smiled at Sonny. Sonny frowned.

"Let me see!" He pleaded.

"Alright, alright, just let me find a mirror," Joel said, leaving Sonny alone.

Sonny couldn't believe Joel found a pair of perfectly fine scissors in the dump, let alone instruments to create the mouse head.

Joel picked around in the junk yard until he came across a broken vanity. He dragged it over to Sonny and Sonny was scared to look at himself, but when he did, he wasn't dissapointed.

"Wow..." Sonny'seyes widened when he realized that half his hair was cut off, showing the skin of his head. He couldn't stop staring at it because it actually looked_ good._

"You like?" Joel asked, taking out a cigarette from his package and placing it into his mouth, "I learned from cutting my own hair all these years," He mumbled searching in his pockets for his lighter. Sonny looked at Joel and watched him with wide eyes. He forgot to snag his dad's cigarettes...

"I don't get you," Sonny said, scratching at his head where the patch of missing hair was, "You don't have money, yet you can smoke cigarettes?"

"Dude, I've been smoking for years," He chuckled and took off his jacket, eager to find his lighter, "When you're addicted, you'd do anything for these bad boys." He smiled at the pack and then looked at Sonny.

Joel noticed Sonny kept his stare on the pack, "Did you want one, Sonny virgin?" He laughed.

Sonny didn't snap back, but he nodded, "Sure," Joel raised an eyebrow and kept a smirk on, throwing Sonny the pack.

Sonny stared down at the pack. The worn-out cardboard exterior felt great in his hands. He opened the pack and found the white rods wrapped in thin, gold paper. He slid one out and tossed Joel the pack back.

"Aha!" Joel exclaimed, finding his small yellow lighter, "Come here," Joel demanded. Sonny went over and was pushed onto his knees next to Joel.

Joel leaned forward and raised his lighter toward Sonny's nose. Sonny flinched and Joel sighed. He grabbed the cigarette from Sonny's hand and held it between his fingers.

"Open your mouth," He demanded. Sonny parted his lips and Joel popped the rod into his mouth, "Now hold it with your teeth and light it, like this." Joel did a demonstration on his own cigarette, taking a deep drag and blowing the deadly smoke into Sonny's face. Sonny caughed, but took the lighter and attempted to light his own. Joel sighed, took the lighter from Sonny's hands and lit the cigarette. Sonny took a drag, without leaving Joel's eyes, and blew out the smoke slowly. He smiled lightly and Joel nodded.

Joel pressed his lips into a straight line and then leaned back away from Sonny slwoly and cleared his throat, looking off into the distance and taking another drag.

It was a weird feeling Joel had, but he felt like he and Sonny would become great friends. Excitement shot through him at this new thought and he smiled big.

"You know what, I think we can become great friends," Sonny said, gagging on the smoke that was burning his lungs.

Joel laughed as he thought about it. A matter of fact, he liked Sonny.

Well you know, I'm taking you raving tonight!" Joel exclaimed.

Sonny made a horrified face, "B-b-but won't I get in trouble for tha-" Sonny stopped mid-sentence because the dissapointed look Joel gave him then was overwhelming.

"We sneak in from the back," He shrugged and bit his lip, "You need a new name though, 'Sonny' just sounds too _Tellatubbies_..." He waved a hand dismissivley, "Got any nicknames?"

Sonny thought for a second back when he lived in Los Angeles with his friends...

_"Hey! Skrilly! Pass the ball!" Burt, one of Sonny's good friends, yelled from the other side of the court._

_"You can make the pass, Skrills!" Pina encouraged him._

_"Yo, Skrillex, don't be a little pussy and eat the damn bug!" Henry, the school bully, forced Sonny onto the bug._

Why did they even call him that? _"... My name is Skrillex..." _Sonny thought to himself. Joel raised an eyebrow. Sonny smiled and looked up, "My name is Skrillex." He nodded. Joel nodded and smiled, clearly impressed, "Not bad, Skrillex. Rolls right off the tongue,"

Joel moved a couple dirty books out of the way and chuckled when he came across a pair of black Wayfarer sunglasses. They were a little scratched up, but he handed them to Sonny anyway.

"Put these on," He demanded. Sonny raised an eyebrow and put on the glasses. Joel smiled largely and nodded, "He's _aliiiiiive_!" Joel howled into the air and started to laugh in a villianous manner.

* * *

**AN: (:**


	3. Chapter 3 Jaded

**AN: Another Chapter (:**

**It's not changed up alot, but as the story progresses, readers from before may see the differences. But enjoy!**

* * *

After Joel was done feeding Meowingtons some crackers from his backpack, he snuggled the cat into his backpack and pet him until he gradually fell asleep.

"I found Meowingtons the first day I was on the street," Joel confessed, watching the small cat close its eyes and go into steady breathing. He grabbed his cigarettes and the box with the mousehead in it and turned to smile at Sonny, "I raised him all on my own." He laughed and then shook his head, "It's pretty ironic for me to have a cat, me being 'The Deadmouse' and all," He put a sheet of metal overtop of Sonny and his own belongings so they were really out of sight. Nobody ever went in the dump anyway because of the smell, so their stuff (and cat) would surely be safe. So they thought.

* * *

The rave was loud. Sonny wasn;t sure he liked it very much. He just sat on Joel's usual sofa and watched as Joel got more drunk and more drunk by the minute. Sonny kept getting flirtatious looks from the females of the club until one approached him. At first, Sonny didn't know what to do. As the women started to dance near him, she kept making sideways glances, probably hoping Sonny will join her. But Sonny wasn't really interested, even though he felt his insides burn when he examined what she was wearing. Fluffy, knee-high boots, fishnets, tight leather shorts, a pink tube top, and a couple hundred bracelets on each arm. She wasn't wearing a bra.  
Sonny bit his lip and looked over at Joel (wherever he was). He tried to walk away until she grabbed onto his arm.  
"Hey there, can I get you a drink?" She asked, a Southern accent to her voice. She was beautiful. Tan skin, light blonde hair, and bright green eyes.  
Sonny struggled to speak, so he just shook his head, pushing his sunglasses back up the bridge of his nose. He really wished Joel was there. Sonny didn;t recognize anybody. They were either wearing some sort of ridiculous Halloween mask, or they were so far away that the darkness of the club made their appearence difficult to make out.

Sonny felt ridiculous with the sunglasses, but a shot of adrenaline pumped through his veins as she reached up to scratch his head, remembering his haircut, remembering that he didn't resemble a chick anymore and that Joel said he was "sexy". Sonny then looked at the girl beside him and smiled, feeling the courage he felt just hours ago.

"How about two margaritas?" He winked. The girl smiled and got up to go to the bar.  
Sonny leaned back and continued to look for Joel. Joel was dancing now, pretty badly, but at least he moved. Joel seemed to know what he was doing, just living his life like everyone else in this club. Sure, Sonny felt young and like he didn't belong there, but it wasn't like anyone knew who he was. He promised himself then and there that he wold go with the flow and keep in mind that this place wasn't like school. And then the girl came back with the green drinks, handed one to Sonny, and sat down next to him.  
"Care to dance? I'm Mary-Ann, by the way," She held out her hand and smiled friendly. Sonny smiled back and grabbed her hand.  
"I'm So- Skrillex," He quickly corrected himself over the loud music.  
"Sorry, what was that?" She asked, dragging him to the dance floor and pulling him closer to her.  
"My name's Skrillex," Sonny spoke up and she laughed.  
"Now that is just the cutest name I've ever heard," She grinned and pressed her hips into his. He held back what he thought was a moan and grabbed her waist gentley as they swayed.

Mary Ann was petite. Short and skinny, but her age showed well in her facial featured. Sonny felt a little rebellious grinding up against a much older women. He kind of liked the way she felt on him. He could do this, at least for a while. But it was beginning to get a bit weird between them. The more she drank, the harder she would grind against him, so the point where they weren't even swaying anymore on beat.

Mary-Ann was petite. Short and skinny, but her age showed well in her face covered with glowing paint. Sonny felt a little rebellious grinding up against a much older women. He kind of liked the way she felt on him. He could do this, at least for a while. But it was beginning to get a bit weird between them. The more she drank, the harder she would grind against him, to the point where they weren't even swaying anymore on beat.  
"So you came here with The Deadmouse?" She had asked. Sonny nodded, not able to make a noise, afraid of letting out an embarassing sound. "Isn't he just the best fucker?" She asked with a giggle. Sonny's heart skipped a beat, "The way he's all mysterious with his mouse head on, makes you wonder, eh? He does this thing with his fingers... oh boy, I'm getting horny just thinking about it," She pressed her face into Sonny's chest and squeezed his sides, "Has he ever fucked you, Skrillex? Cuz I know I would in a heart beat," He pressed his lips together and felt a blush coming on. Was she trying to feel him up? "Oh Skrillex, your body feels so sexy," She giggled into his ear. He looked around to see if anyone else was watching. There were a few looks, but everyone acted as if it were all normal.

Joel looked over and laughed at his younger friend getting down with a twenty yeat-old. He was, yet again, proud of himself. He has made Sonny look irresistable, and with that, Joel deserved another drink. But as he chugged down a shot of Daniel's, he watched the girl take a grip on Sonny's behind. Joel raised an eyebrow and put down his glass. He didn't know why he felt this awkward feeling, but it seemed like he needed to defend his friend. He's never had to do that before...  
"What's wrong, mousey?" A girl slurred in his ear.  
Joel ignored her and just watched as the girl clinging to Sonny slipped her hand down Sonny's pants. Joel then grew angry, his face started to burn more then the mouse head, the drinks, and the heat of the club already made him. He pushed himself away from the crowd of people dancing with him, and stormed up to Sonny and the girl. He grabbed the lady on the shoulder and pushed her backwards. She looked startled and stepped away from Joel, quickly taking her hands out of the younger boy's pants. Sonny looked petrified.  
"Get away!" Joel demanded. She put up her hands in surrender and waddled into the sea of people dancing. Joel grabbed Sonny and led him back to the sofa.

Sonny still couldn't accept what just happened to him. He's never had a sexual urge like that in his life... well except that one time he watched porn... but with a real person, never. Sonny's heart was still beating fast. Joel fanned off Sonny's face.  
"You okay?" Joel mummbled.  
"I can't feel my toes," Sonny admitted. Joel snickered and reached down to peels Sonny's shoes off. "Thanks," He said, wiggling his toes in response.  
"If you wanna leave, just tell me," Joel slurred and rested his head on the back of the sofa. "My neck feels like... pudding," He giggled.  
"Let's just go then," Sonny said, getting up, but falling back over, "Ugh... I think I'm drunk..." He laughed.  
"First time?" Joel asked, laughing. Sonny nodded slowly, trying hard not to raddle his brain so much. Joel moved closer to Sonny and grabbed his face, "Lesssssgo!" He ordered.

* * *

Joel brought Sonny to a friend's apartment. Joel's friend was named Gregory. Joel spent most of his time there, other then the streets because he enjoyed not having to clean all the time. Gregory was apparently tall, well-built, and had a clean apartment. Sonny already didn't like the thoughts of this man. He felt a nervousness wash over him as Joel rang the doorbell at the apartment door. 218 was the number. Sonny bit his lip and couldn't help but nervously pet Meowingtons who smelled like pee for hanging out in the dump all last night while the duo were gone. Sonny still had a slight headache from the night before, so he kept his sunglasses on to keep his sensitive eyes from the light.

Joel looked down at Sonny and put on a sweet smile that Sonny couldn't help but smile back.

"Okay listen Sonny, Gregory is a really sweet guy, he'll let you stay here, but here are the downsides... he's very clean, so don't spill anything and make sure you shower right away if you smell bad. He has OCD so if you move something, move it back or he'll kick you out of the apartment, and sometimes he'll be up at 2 in the morning working out, so if you want to stay longer, then you'll just have to learn to ignore all the noise." Sonny just nodded.

Just then, Gregory opened the door and Sonny instantly smiled. Gregory had a crew cut and deep, blue eyes. He looked really mean and tough, but when he smiled, his face showed his true teddy-bear side which Sonny found unthreatening. He looked down at Sonny and the smile wrinkles in his eyes deepened.

"Oh hey there," He said.

"I'm Skrillex," Sonny said, sticking out his hand to shake the older man's.

"He's Sonny, actually," Joel shrugged and laughed, he also shook Gregory's hand, "Skrillex is just his club name,"

"Ah, Sonny is a cool name," Greg laughed and stepped aside for the duo to come inside, "I bought pizza if you want any, make yourself at home," He said and walked into the other room.

Sonny looked at the pizza and then back up at Joel. Joel helped himself to a slice and then flopped onto the couch. Sonny did the same and looked around the apartment. It was clean. Very clean, actually. Everything was labelled from "TV" to "Bedroom Two". Sonny felt scared then. He always misplaced things...

Gregory came back and was wearing a t shirt now. He was still smiling and he walked over and straightened out the remotes on the coffe table.

"Use coasters for your drinks," He reminded them, "And don't eat on the couch!" He snapped. Sonny quickly got up from the couch, followed by Joel. They finished their pizza, and then got directed to the washroom to wash their hands.

"And now you know why I don't permanantly live here," Joel whispered.

"Sonny, sorry to be rude, but do you mind taking a shower?" Gregory asked in his best polite voice. "There's a new box of soap on the counter, along with a wash cloth," Sonny smiled and nodded. He could use a nice shower.

It was weird washing his hair because he only had 75 percent of it left on his head, but he didn't let it bother him. He enjoyed the heat of the water over his dehydrated skin. When he stepped out of the shower he looked around and found no towels. He didn't want to go snooping around in fear that if he got the floor wet, Gregory would have his head.

"Joel?" He called for his friend. There was no answer. Sonny began to panic and bit his lip, "Joel!" He called a bit louder.

"Whaaat?" Joel yelled from the living room.

"Can you come here please!" Sonny asked, suddenly panicking when he saw the steam from the clear shower walls begin to dissapear. "Hurry!"

"What? Need me to wipe your ass or something?" Joel asked, opening the door of the bathroom and then looking at Sonny. His eyes widened and he turned around quickly, "Sorry dude..." He cleared his throat. "What do you need?"

"C-could you pass me a towel?" Sonny asked, his face getting hot. Joel nodded quickly and ran out of the washroom. He came back momentarily and, closing his eyes, handing Sonny the towel.

Joel couldn't help but peek once Sonny was turned around. He got a glimpse of Sonny's ass and laughed inside his mind. He had a cute, small butt. He tip-toed out of the washroom and back into the living room.

* * *

As night came around, Sonny was told to take the guest room and Joel take the couch. Sonny felt bad though, because all his life he's slept in such a comfortable bed, and Joel slept probably outside half the time. Sonny wasn't brave enough to ask to switch because of that reason, so he just ignored it and closed his eyes. He was so unbelievably tired that he just couldn't sleep. He heard the creeking of the floor and saw the flashing of lights seep under his door as Gregory began his 2 o' clock workout.

Joel was wide awake on the couch. He just stared at the Tv, not really watching it. He was too busy thinking about Sonny. It was so strange how he felt about the boy. He was friends with Sonny, yes, but why did he quickly decide to let Sonny into his life? Why did he stop him from being seduced by that women at the rave? Why did he so willingly give him the guest room? Why did he look at his ass? There were so many things wrong with this picture. Sonny was only 15 years old! Why the fuck was Joel looking at him like that? He wants what's best for Sonny, but at the same time, is unsure of what _he _wants. Does he want to screw it all up again? Put all his trust and effort into one boy and have it all washed up like his last relationship? What if Sonny wasn't even into that, or worst of all, homophobic? He didn't respond negatively towards Joel mentioning a same-sex exrelationship, in fact he didn't respond at all.

It was weird washing his hair because he only had 75 percent of it left on his head, but he didn't let it bother him. He enjoyed the heat of the water over his dehydrated skin. When he stepped out of the shower he looked around and found no towels. He didn't want to go snooping around in fear that if he got the floor wet, Gregory would have his head.  
"Joel?" He called for his friend. There was no answer. Sonny began to panic and bit his lip, "Joel!" He called a bit louder.  
"Whaaat?" Joel yelled from the living room.  
"Can you come here please!" Sonny asked, suddenly panicking when he saw the steam from the clear shower walls begin to dissapear. "Hurry!"  
"What? Need me to wipe your ass or something?" Joel asked, opening the door of the bathroom and then looking at Sonny. His eyes widened and he turned around quickly, "Sorry dude..." He cleared his throat. "What do you need?"  
"C-could you pass me a towel?" Sonny asked, his face getting hot. Joel nodded quickly and ran out of the washroom. He came back momentarily and, closing his eyes, handing Sonny the towel. Joel couldn't help but peek once Sonny was turned around. He got a glimpse of Sonny's ass and laughed inside his mind. He had a cute, small butt. He tip-toed out of the washroom and back into the living room.

As night came around, Sonny was told to take the guest room and Joel take the couch. Sonny felt bad though, because all his life he's slept in such a comfortable bed, and Joel slept probably outside half the time. Sonny wasn't brave enough to ask to switch because of that reason, so he just ignored it and closed his eyes. He was so unbeleivably tired that he just couldn't sleep, his mind was racing back and worth from the night before, to his parents, to his school, and back to now. He heard the creeking of the floor and saw the flashing of lights seep under his door as Gregory began his 2 o' clock workout.

Joel was wide awake on the couch. He just stared at the TV, not really watching it. He was too busy thinking about Sonny. It was so strange how he felt about the boy. He was friends with Sonny, yes, but why did he quickly decide to let Sonny into his life? Why did he stop him from being seduced by that women at the rave? Why did he so willingly give him the guest room? Why did he look at his ass? There were so many things wrong with this picture. Sonny was only 15 years old! Why the fuck was Joel looking at him like that? He wants what's best for Sonny, but at the same time, is unsure of what he wants. Does he want to screw it all up again? Put all his trust and effort into one boy and have it all washed up like his last relationship? What if Sonny wasn't even into that, or worst of all, homophobic? He didn't respond negatively towards Joel mentioning a same-sex exrelationship, in fact he didn't respond at all.

Joel sighed and shut the TV off, placing the remote in it's correct spot on the coffee table. He was just overthinking things a little. He remembered when he told his best friend in grade 6 he was gay. He promised not to tell anyone and the next week, the whole school found out. The teasing, the looks, the points, the stares. He got a phone call home and that's when all hell broke loose. His parents were fighting with him and fighting with each other, so he just told them it wasn't true and that someone was spreading a lie about him, but he ended up going to high school with no friends and no hope. Until he found the love of his life, Felix.

Joel took a deep breath when he remembered Felix. Long sandy blonde hair, tan skin, blue eyes, toned body. Perfect. Felix was also 22 years old, and Joel was only 17. He fell in love. He ran away from home to live with Felix. He lost his virginity. He lived with Felix for 2 years. He did everything with Felix until...

_"I'm moving to California," Felix told Joel with a sad look on his face, holding his hands tightly, "For college,"_  
_"But... what about me?" Joel asked hopefully. _  
_"Move back in with your parents?" Felix asked_  
_"But they hate me..." Joel said. Felix pressed his lips together and tears filled them. Joel realize it was the first time he saw Felix cry._  
_"I love you so much, and I wish I could bring you with me, but I just can't... and I need a good job, Joel. I need to make money somehow," He said, his voice breaking as a tear rolled down his cheek, "I'm so fucking sorry... I'll come back for you, I promise." Felix had given him a phone number and told him that if he needed a place to stay, he could call this number and instantly be accepted to live in comfort. _  
_Joel let his hands slip out of Felix's as he, also, began to cry. That was the last he's seen of Felix because that night, Joel packed up his money savings, iPod, backpack, and headphones, and headed to the streets. When he called the number, Gregory was the one who picked up and let him stay with him._

Joel blinked and was startled when he felt a moistness on his face. He quickly wiped away his tears and burried himself under the covers, closing his eyes. He needed sleep.

* * *

In the morning Sonny paced the bedroom. He was told by Joel to stay in the room until 9 am so he could meet him there and show him something without disturbing Gregory. Sonny didn't know what it was, but it sounded serious. Maybe Joel got bit by something? Maybe he gained a rash from that mouse head? Whatever the case, Sonny still tried to remain calm. It was only 8:57 when he heard a knock at the door. Sonny jumped and ran to go answer it. Joel smiled at him and walked into the room.

"Check this out, this was my first ever mix," Joel said, flopping on the bed with a laptop that didn't look familiar.  
Joel went onto Youtube and looked up 'Ghosts N' Stuff'. Sonny raised his eyebrow, but joined Joel on the bed and watched with awe as he saw Joel sitting at a desk chair with a dark-haired boy. Young Joel in the video looked at the boy as he played the song from his mixing station. The boy laughed and nodded and began to sing softly as he leaned over and added in something else. Young Joel played it again and Sonny couldn't help but smile. It was the most amazing and original thing he's ever heard! It motivated him to show Joel his creation.  
"I have something too," Sonny said, leaping off the bed and grabbing his backpack. He froze when he felt the weight of it has decreased. He pressed his lips together and looked around the room, "Have you seen my laptop?" He asked.  
Joel raised an eyebrow, "What laptop?"  
Sonny felt his stomach drop. He has lost his laptop. All his music. All his memories. Gone. He took in a shakey breath and started to panic.

Joel got the hint and quickly got up to help look around. They searched everywhere in the apartment and then informed Gregory that they were going to search around town.

"Wow, how can you just lose a laptop? Someone must've stole it or it's probably burried deep in the trash by now," Joel said, out of breath as the duo ran toward the dump.

"Thanks for the positivity," Sonny yelled, slapping Joel on the arm.

"Ow, what the hell?" Joel said, stopping dead in his tracks. Sonny stopped too and just fell to the ground.

"I can't take this anymore," He gasped, breaking down crying.

Joel looked around quickly, unable of where this suddenly came from or what he should do to prevent it. He's never comforted anyone for years, nor did he find sympathy in himself to do so. He just knelt beside Sonny and patted his back slowly with the palm of his hand. Sonny then unexpectadly grabbed Joel and gave him a squeeze. Joel panicked, but realized it was only just a hug. A hug... man, he's never felt one of those for a while either. He decided that now was a time to restart. He joined the hug with Sonny on the ground, finally feeling his place. He felt the warmth of the hug pulse through him and he closed his eyes and rested his chin on Sonny's shoulder, never wanting to let go of the smaller boy that was now in his arms.

Maybe Sonny found him by fate. Joel was unsure, but all he knew was that he was finally, and completely happy in that very moment. More happy then he was of leaving his torturous parents. More happy then finding Melody. More happy then taking that much-needed shower or eating that much-needed meal or drinking clean, much-needed water. Sonny was his source now. Sonny was his happiness.

* * *

**AN: ****Reviews make me a very happy happy little girl and encourage me to write more! So please review!**


	4. Chapter 4 Get Up

**AN: Thank you guys so much for being such awesome people and messaging me and leaving reviews, it means a lot!**

**Thank you for enjoying this story as much as I do writing it!**

* * *

Joel and Sonny spent a total of 4 hours outside, in search for Sonny's laptop. Joel felt sad when he saw the worried expression on his friend's face. He knew they would never find it, because according to Sonny, it was a Mac Book. Sonny was at the verge of tears whenever he saw something clean and brightly white in the trash, but found out it was only a toilet.

It started to rain and Sonny kept on coughing. He wore nothing but a pair of jeans and a short-sleeved shirt and it was cold as _fuck. _Joel had to basically carry Sonny out of the dump and into an alley way until the rain stopped. Sonny was crying and hitting things, hitting Joel.

And when the duo finally went back to Gregory's, Sonny has never felt worse in his entire life then he did at that moment. He lost his laptop, fell into a deep depression,_ and _got sick. And the worst part of it all was that Joel had to take care of him due to Gregory's fear of germs. After much begging and promising to clean up and sanitize everything the younger boy touched, Gregory let them stay, but they were only aloud in the guest room. Sonny refused to speak. His throat was sore and he really just had nothing nice to say about all this, but Joel was trying to make Sonny happier.

His hair a mess, his skin pale, his nose red like a cherry, and his arms folded across his chest, Sonny just glowered out the window and grabbed the constant tissue to blow his nose. He cried. He cried and cried and didn't speak for 2 days. Joel sort of blamed it on himself. He wished he hadn't shown Sonny his song, but at the same time, this was healthy for someone as stubborn as Sonny. He had to realize that shit happens, and sometimes you're just going to have to accept it and move on. Well, at least that's Joel's cure for everything. And everything always happens for a reason.

"Wanna play _Chess_?" Joel suggested, laying down on the bed beside Sonny. Sonny shook his head, "_Checkers_? _Go Fish_? Fucking _Crazy Eights_?" Joel asked again, getting a little annoyed with Sonny's attitude. Sonny just narrowed his eyes at Joel. Joel sighed and smacked his hand to his forhead.

"Listen, Sonny," Joel said, "It's not as bad as it seems, really. I lost things that were very important to me, but I always got around to filling the emptiness it made..." Joel gave a half smile, looking at Sonny, trying to make him get what he was trying to say.

But Sonny didn't dare look at Joel; he opened his mouth to say something but Joel silenced him with a finger. Sonny frowned at the jesture and looked Joel up and down quickly.

Sonny could remember his ex girlfriend. Similar to the way Joel treated Sonny now, is how Rachel treated him before they went out.

He and Rachel were best friends from kindergarten and what Sonny hasn't realized was that he only hung out with the girls. Before he could've made a change to be cool and hang out with his own gender peers, Sonny found himself being much more into what the girls were. He was a bit of a ladies-man when came grade 6, even though none of them ever wanted to date him. All the girls wanted to be his friend. They all loved how they could braid his hair without him freaking out and how he could just tell them advice for their boy troubles. The girl's parents loved him, so he was always over at the girl's houses until a certain chick got a bit jealous...

_"Everyone knows you'd rather fuck guys then girls. I mean, look at the way you dress! And your hair! You look like a fucking girl." Penny had said to him infront of the whole grade 8 population. All Sonny could do was be silent. He was never really the one who fought back in arguements. But when he saw Rachel's face grow weary, he had a hit of courage and stood his ground._

_"I'm not gay," He stated._

_"Haha, c'mon Sonny-boy! Are you scared you wont have friends anymore because they all know you dream about sucking their cocks?"_

_"That's enough, Penny!" Rachel yelled, stepping infront of Sonny and glaring at the red head, "Stop judging my boyfriend on the way he looks! I think he's perfect just the way he is," She said._

_Sonny couldn't help but stare at Rachel in surprise. He's never thought of Rachel as a girlfriend before... or maybe she was just saying that to back him up?_

_"So you're into guys who look like girls? Suspicious," Penny snorted._

_"It shouldn't matter who you end up being in love with, as long as they make you happy," Rachel snapped back._

_ It shouldn't matter who you end up being in love with, as long as they make you happy..._ Sonny looked at Joel, but then looked away again. He couldn't stand looking into those eyes... the eyes of innocence and apology. Sonny knew he shouldn't be blaming this situation on Joel.

Joel sat up and crossed his legs and just stared at the younger boy. Sonny shifted uncomfortably, but sooner or later looked at Joel's face again. Joel smiled and Sonny pressed his lips together, looking away and trying to fight his own smile from creeping in. Joel just laughed and grabbed Sonny's hand. A shock of electricity stung Sonny's insides.

"Do you need anything? Like medacine or ...?" Joel looked down at their hands when Sonny did. He didn't pull away and Joel smiled to himself.

"No..." Sonny croaked and then cleared his throat, taking his hand out of Joel's to pick up his glass of water.

Sonny felt so vulnerable when he got sick, but for some reason, he wanted Joel to take advantage of him. He had no idea what came over him when he held Joel's hand for that little while and why it felt so good, but he was starting to wonder if he was developing some sort of feeling toward this boy. He bit his lip and pointed toward his bag. Joel raised an eyebrow and looked over at the bag.

"Bring it to you?" He asked. Sonny nodded.

Joel got up and brought Sonny's bag over onto the bed. Sonny took out a few folded peices of paper and pressed his lips together as he handed them to Joel. Joel was confused, but unfolded the papers anyway to look at them. His jaw dropped as he looked at the sketches Sonny had taken 3 hours to do. They were all of Joel and the mouse head in different designs, colours, textures, and creativity.

"Th-these are amazing!" Joel exclaimed, flipping through page after page of the mouse heads, each of them excelling in greater detail and lack of short cuts, "How... why?"

Sonny laughed but then coughed again.

Joel's heart beat quickened as he saw each and every detail drawn to make his body on the paper. Every last line of his jeans, polo shirt, every shade, crease, wrinkle was perfect. Joel didn't know what to say so he just bit his lip and tried to take all this in.

"I-I saw you... in a newspaper," Sonny strained to say, "I admire your creativity... and your uniqeness," He cleared his throat. He realized he was talking to a much older, more mature adult and felt stupid for thinking what he was, but that didn't stop the blush from appearing on his face.

"Y-you're blushing..." Joel whispered with a watery smile. Sonny looked away quickly and the blood in his veins turned to ice. He couldn't feel his toes again. "No, don't worry... it's cute," Joel chuckled, lifting Sonny's chin with his index and thumb. He looked into Sonny's deep, brown eyes. He then looked breifly down at Sonny's lush, but small lips. Joel grew nervous and stopped thinking. He leaned in closer to Sonny and pressed his lips against the younger boy's.

Sparks. Sonny saw sparks. He felt sparks. He could taste sparks. He knew what he wanted. Finally. And that something was Joel. When they parted, Sonny couldn't help but stare at Joel's lips. Did that really just happen? Sonny felt like he wasn't alive. His heart was racing at a speed that he couldn't even process. Joel pressed his lips together and was looking down at his hands. He was scared at how Sonny might respond. He got up from the bed and cleared his throat. Sonny raised an eyebrow and just examined Joel's face. Did he even want to do that? Sonny then looked down at Joel's hands. He was playing with his thumbs. Sonny chuckled and sat up, crossing his legs and looked up at Joel with a smile on his face. He knew Joel was just as scared and confused as Sonny was.

"Did you like it?" Joel asked, his voice low, peering down at Sonny. Sonny just smiled and could feel his face get hot.

He levered himself onto his knees and touched Joel's face. Joel closed his eyes breifly and then looked at Sonny and smiled.

Sonny was acting much more mature then he usually did. Joel felt like he was 17 again.

"Joel..." Sonny whispered.

"Shut the fuck up and kiss me," Joel whispered back, grabbing onto Sonny's face and crashing their lips together once again, only this time Joel was a little more hungry for the feel of the smaller boy.

Sonny wrapped his arms around Joel's neck and moved in closer to him. He felt as if he's known Joel forever. The kiss was so natural and sexy that he felt comfortable, if that was even possible. He felt Joel pushing him back. Sonny broke his lips away from Joel's and gasped for air. He closed his eyes and his whole body burned.

"Lay down," Joel demanded in a whisper. Sonny looked at Joel's lust-filled eyes and couldn't help from shiverring. He laid down slowly on his back and awaited to see Joel's face. When an awkward moment passed, Sonny propped up onto his elbows and his eyes instantly widened when he saw Joel crawl on top of him with no shirt on. Sonny wanted to slow his heart down, afraid of a sudden heart attack. He felt Joel's warm skin against the fabric of Sonny's shirt and he wanted this moment to last forever.

But Joel didn't kiss him. Joel was on top of Sonny, their bodies hot and pressed together. Joel's warm breath pushed against Sonny's skin as he moved his hair away from his face. He then slowly but surely leaned toward Sonny's lips. He noticed Joel's shoulder blades slowly retract as he leaned, which made Joel look very irresistable. Their lips brush together softly and then Sonny lifted his head a little more to close off the space between them, knowing Joel was just being a tease. He caught his lips and wrapped his thin arms around Joel's neck. The moistness and softness of the kiss brought Sonny back to his memories of Rachel.

_ She had the softest, most kissable lips Sonny has ever felt then. Sonny couldn't help but shudder at the feel of her tongue tracing the inside of his bottom lip. She had pushed him back to remove her clothing._

_"Umm... Rachel?" Sonny asked, a bit frazzled over his first kiss and the fact that Rachel was being so desperate, "What are you doing?"_

_"We're going to have sex," She demanded, unhooking her bra and letting it fall to her feet. Sonny quickly looked away and took in a sudden breath._

_"Rachel, you're my best friend, but-"_

_"But what, Sonny?" She asked, her hands on her hips, "Don't you think I'm sexy?" She asked, opening her arms to show Sonny her now naked body._

_It took Sonny a while before he could look at the girl. As soon as he took in everything he needed to, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes._

_"This is so wrong," Sonny whispered, "Put your clothes back on, Rach. I'm not doing this,"_

_"Why not?" She asked, walking up to him and grabbing his wrist, "This is what girlfriends and boyfriends do," She forcefully thrust Sonny's hand to touch her breast. He pressed his lips together and shook his head quickly, ripping his hand out of Rachel's grasp._

_ He walked up to the bedroom door and unlocked it. Then he stopped and turned around when he heard the light crying that came from Rachel._

_"If you walk out that door, Sonny Moore, we're not friends," She stated, tears rolling down her cheek._

_He just shook his head and felt his own tears fall._

_"Why are you doing this?" He asked in a whisper, "This isn't how I wanted things to be,"_

_"Get out then," She said, pointing to the door, "Now."_

_Sonny sighed and his vision got blurred from his tears. He turned and walked out the door._

"You okay?" Joel asked in a whisper, looking at Sonny's face. He was sitting on the bed next to Sonny, shirtless, a hand on his shoulder.

Sonny nodded, snapping back to reality and finding himself with moistened eyes. Did the kiss actually happen, or was Sonny asleep? He cheeks burned again when he examined Joel's naked torso. He was thin, but slightly tan, and a trail of light hair led down his stomach and continued past his boxers... Sonny swallowed hard and looked away.

"Yeah sor-" He sat up and coughed into his sleeve. He groaned and slammed his head back down onto the bed.

"Shit, now I'm going to be sick," Joel groaned and laid down next to Sonny. Sonny raised an eyebrow, he was still very confused. "You're a great kisser though," Joel said, touching Sonny's hair. Sonny swallowed hard and smiled slightly, knowing that he wasn't insane, but it still didn't help Sonny from shivering at Joel's touch. A knock on the door made Joel instantly sit up. Sonny did the same.

"Is everything okay in there?" Gregory asked, his voice muffled by the door.

"Just fine," Joel smiled, looking at Sonny, "But we'll need some more cough syrup," He announced, leaning in close to kiss Sonny's cheek.

* * *

It was night time and Joel snuggled up on the couch, once again the TV was on, but he wasn't really paying any attention to it. And once again he found himself thinking about Sonny. The way his lips felt against Joel's. The cool of his skin soothing the heat that Joel's body felt in the moment. He took in a deep breath when he felt his face get hot again. It's been far too long before he's ever kissed someone of his own sexual preference. It felt right.

Joel traced his fingers over his own body and in the heat of the moment, slipped his hand into his boxers. He wanted to know what Sonny was doing right now. He wanted to know if Sonny was thinking about him right now. He felt very hot and bothered... perhaps he was catching Sonny's cold...

He heard footsteps and quickly pulled his hand out of his boxers. Just like reading his mind, Sonny walked into the living room, rubbing his eyes and yawning. He wore flanel pajamas that Gregory let him keep. They were a bright blue and accented Sonny's features. Joel smiled at this young side of Sonny.

"I can't sleep," He whispered, looking at Joel and blinking.

"What, want me to read you a fucking fairytale?" Joel chuckled and got off the couch. He walked up to Sonny and turned him around, leading him back to the guest room.

"No," Sonny answered honestly and slipped back into the bed. Joel covered Sonny with the blankets and tucked them around him, feeling very fatherly. "I know it's only been a week, but I kind of miss my family..." He whispered.

Joel took a step back and raised an eyebrow. Sonny didn't look at Joel. Joel sighed and walked to the other side of the bed. He sat down.

"Sonny, you don't need your family," He shook his head, "That's like someone saying they're a vegeterian, and then having temptations to eat a Big Mac," He chuckled. Sonny sighed, "I guess,"

"Trust me Sonny, I've been out on the streets for years, and I've thought about going back a few times, but then I wonder why I even ran out in the first place. It makes me mad to think about my parents now," He shook his head.

Sonny nodded and then looked at Joel's face, "I have a question, but it might sound a little strange, knowing that we haven't known each other for a while and stuff..."

Joel shrugged and smiled, "Shoot."

"C-can you um... sleep here... with me... tonight?" He whispered, embarassment washed over his complection.

Joel just laughed and crawled under the sheets, "I thought you'd never ask," He whispered and moved his face closer to Sonny's and just looked into his eyes.

Sonny smiled and could see the calmness in Joel's eyes. He rested his lids and felt Joel's lips press against his forehead.

* * *

The next morning, while Sonny was still vast asleep, Joel shook him violently.

"Wake the fuck up, you little bastard!" He yelled.

Sonny shot straight out of bed and looked at Joel angrily.

"What the _fuck_, dude!" He yelled back.

"Look! Your laptop!" He announced, shoving the white Mac Book into Sonny's hands.

Sonny looked down at the laptop and just stared at it in disbeleif. He slowly ran a hand over it and, to make sure it was his, opened the lid and started the computer. The password bar popped up with his picture beside it. He started to cry in pure happiness and clutched the laptop close to his chest.

"Where... where did you find it?" He asked, his crying grew stronger.

"Actually, Gregory had it on his shelf, he said he didn't want it to get dirty because it was white, but he also thought it was his own," He chuckled, "He owns the same one which he just found this morning on his night table,"

Sonny smiled widely and got up. He opened the door and looked out into the hallway, "Where's Gregory?" He asked.

"He actually went out for his jog, he always jogs at 7," Joel pointed to the clock beside the guest bed.

Sonny groaned. It hit him then that he was still so tired. He hasn't woke up at 7 for a week.

"Show me your song," Joel said.

Sonny nodded and loaded up his program where his song was. He smiled and clicked play. As the song played, Joel's eyes widened and his jaw dropped. It was the most outrageous this he's ever heard! The bass drops, the melodies, the everything was just perfect! He laughed and Sonny raised an eyebrow.

"That's amazing! Why are you so damn talented?" He asked with a smile. Sonny rolled his eyes and stopped the music when a thought just hit him. Joel raised an eyebrow.

"We should make music together and play it at the raves!" Sonny exclaimed, getting a little too excited and jumped to his feet.

Joel pursed his lips and shrugged, "There's actually one next week..."

"Then let's do it! We can make a little extra money, get a place of our own and not have to worry about misplacing anything and getting our asses kicked back onto the streets!" Sonny squeeled and jumped up and down, then he stopped and gasped, "Oh my God! I have to make more music! _You_ have to make more music! This is perfect!"

Joel grabbed onto Sonny's shoulders to stop him from jumping a hole in the ground, "Woah, woah, woah there cowboy," He said, "What makes you think getting a job there will be easy? They already have a fucking amazing DJ,"

"But that's the point! You're so much better then a stupid _DJ, _you're _'The Deadmouse'_!"Sonny exclaimed, picking up his drawings from the night table and passing them to Joel.

He took them in his hands and sighed. He was '_The Deadmouse'_, but how soon would it be before everyone knew him as the homeless bother on the streets. Joel Zimmerman... He clenched his jaw and looked at Sonny, remembering the girl at the rave who had seduced the young boy before him. Maybe it was too dangerous to risk everything he lived for, but he had to make the money. If not for himself, then for Sonny. For _Skrillex._

"Okay Sonny... We'll do it... but on one condition," Joel said and touched Sonny's hair lightly. Sonny nodded. Joel looked down at the pictures in his hand and then back into the boy's eyes, "Help me make these,"

Sonny smiled and wrapped his arms around Joel's small waist. Joel cringed a bit in surprise, but then felt the warmth and the soft beat of Sonny's heart. He connected to Sonny that week in more ways then one. He was his friend, his source of happiness... his_ life _now.

Joel quickly took a step back and violently sneezed into his sleeve.

"Ah fuck," Joel groaned.

"Sorry," Sonny half-heartedly grinned, "It's your fault anyway,"

Joel laughed and grabbed Sonny's face in his hand, looking into the beautiful brown eyes he once thought were threatening.

"No, it's definitely not," He whispered, pressing his lips against Sonny's.

* * *

**AN: Once again: REVIEWS= HAPPY WRITER!**

**Thanks again for reading! (L)**


	5. Chapter 5 Skrillex

**AN: Enjoy.**

* * *

It was Joel's turn to lay in the guest bed. Sonny was feeling better and very optimistic knowing now he got to take care of Joel. Sonny liked taking care of people, it was the thing to do when someone was suffering. He put on an apron and tied his hair back with a rubber band. Gregory observed as Sonny taught the older man how to create the perfect circles from dough.  
"Pat it down, like that." Sonny nodded as Gregory smoothed out the dough onto the table, "Excellent!"  
"So do I get to use this yet?" Gregory asked, holding up a giant roller.  
Sonny nodded, "Yeah, roll it flat and then we'll use the cookie cutters," He smiled.

After an hour of baking and cleaning up, Sonny entered the room with cookies on a plate.  
"You awake?" Sonny asked, flicking on the light.  
Joel groaned, "I am now," He yawned and took in the sight of Sonny and couldn't help himself from laughing. A floral apron wrapped around his tiny waist, his long black hair pulled back into a ponytail, and flour pressed against one side of Sonny's cheek.  
"You look rediculous... but I never knew you could bake," He snorted. Sonny just rolled his eyes and smiled.  
"Well, if you don't want any..." Sonny shrugged and slowly turned around to walk out the door again.  
"No I do! Come back!" Joel yelled, almost leaping out of the bed, but coughed and sank in deeper under the sheets.  
He hated being sick. He almost hated it as much as he hated being compared to Mickey Mouse at raves.

Sonny put on a big smile and skipped over to Joel's bedside and took a cookie off the plate.  
"Open," He demanded.  
Joel eyed the cookie, "What's in it?"  
"Love." Sonny rolled his eyes and forced the cookie into Joel's mouth.  
Joel hummed with delight and Sonny smiled with pride. He handed the plate to Joel and took the empty space beside him.  
"So..." Sonny started, looking at Joel.  
Joel raised an eyebrow and stuffed his own mouth with another cookie.  
"We should get on with our music-making!" Sonny announced and took his laptop off of the dresser. Joel nodded in agreement and snuggled up closer to Sonny.

As Sonny mixed sounds and beats, Joel couldn't help but laugh at the younger boy's mere concetration. Something Joel would never find himself doing. Sonny was being totally consumed in mixing that he didn't even notice Joel's hand lightly stroking the boy's arm. He didn't know why he felt this way about Sonny, but it was honestly the only thing he could think of. He didn't want to get Sonny sick again, so he knew he couldn't kiss him, as much as he really wanted to. He took his eyes off the screen to look up at Sonny. His lip suddenly twitched and Joel laughed.  
"What's so funny?" Sonny asked with a smile.  
"I can't kiss you, but I know how much you really want me to," He whispered and winked.  
Sonny blushed and cleared his throat.  
"You'll get me sick again though," Sonny croaked.  
"I know, that's why I'm not going to do it," Joel grinned and continued to stroke Sonny's arm, "But we can do something else that won't get you sick..."  
Sonny's blush deepend and he pressed his lips together. He looked at Joel and saw the evil in his _ eyes.  
"I-I-I-"  
"I know, I know," Joel sighed and rested his head back onto Sonny's shoulder, "It's just been so long since I've had sex, y'know?"  
"Right... sex..." Sonny swallowed hard and put his laptop back onto the dresser.

Joel just smiled at Sonny, but Sonny wasn't completely oblivious to sex. A matter of fact, he knew quite a bit about foreplay, but that wasn't considered sex in his book.  
He remembered the first time he's ever been in contact with a boy sexually. It was in grade 8...

_"Sonny, any explination about why your paper was handed in late?" Mrs. Janet asked, tapping the paper that Sonny recently handed in._  
_Sonny opened his mouth to say something, but the teacher silenced him. He heard a coupled giggles from his peers. The recess bell rang._  
_"You'll have clean-up at recess, everyone else is dismissed," She waved her hand and all the other students left except for Sonny. She then watched as another student ran into the classroom, "And why are you late, Harrison?" She sighed._  
_"I, um... had to pick up breakfast," He held up his Tim Horton's cup._  
_Mrs. Janet sighed and rubbed her temples with her long, skinny fingers. She walked up to Harisson and grabbed his shirt._  
_"You will stay in and help Sonny with clean-up,"_  
_Harisson looked at Sonny with a disgusted look on his face. Sonny looked down at his black Converse shoes and awaited for orders from Mrs. Janet._  
_"Alright, just wash the chalk board and bring these supplies into the closet," Mrs. Janet explained and then checked her watch, "I'm going out for a smo- I mean, to the teachers lounge, so I'll be back at around 10. If you need anything, contact the office, alright?"_  
_The duo nodded and watched as the teacher exited the classroom._

_Sonny took up washing the board as Harisson sat on a desk and just sighed._  
_"This is so stupid," He mumbled._  
_Sonny looked over at the taller boy and shrugged. Harisson had messy, light blonde hair and the most gorgeous blue eyes Sonny's has ever seen in his life. Harisson looked at Sonny, and he quickly looked at the ground again._  
_"I heard you were gay," Harisson chuckled, "But I don't really care, because honestly, who should, right?"_  
_Sonny smiled, this was a side of Harisson he's never seen before. Harisson smiled back._  
_"I'm not gay," Sonny laughed. Harisson nodded and leaped off the desk._  
_He walked over to the desk with all the supplies stashed on them and picked up a few packs of pencils. He looked over at Sonny and smiled, and then made his way into the storage closet._

_Sonny washed the whole board and watched it dry as he awaited for Harisson's arrival. He looked at the supply table and saw a pack of pencils Harisson missed. He rolled his eyes and grabbed the package. As he walked toward the closet, he heard Harisson's voice. Sonny froze in place when he heard a moan escape the from behind the closed door. Sonny's eyes widened as he stepped away from the door._  
_"You okay in there?" Sonny asked, unaware of what Harisson was doing, but he had some idea._  
_"Can you help me for a sec?" Harisson asked, his voice low and raspy. Sonny swallowed hard and opened the door. He paused and just stared in surprise at what he was witnessing. Harisson had no pants on. His shirt was off and his hand was slowly rubbing his lower area._  
_"W-what do you need?" Sonny asked._  
_"Come here," He whispered._  
_Sonny slowly walked up to Harisson and what happened next surprised him. Harisson grabbed Sonny's face and pressed his warm, hard lips against his. Sonny couldn't breathe because at the same time, Harisson grabbed onto Sonny's crotch. Harisson's tongue was warm and moist as it slid against Sonny's. Sonny tried his hardest to pull away, but was so vulnerable and weak against Harisson's strong grasp. When Harisson let go, he walked over to the closet door and locked it._  
_"We have 10 minutes left before Mrs. Bitch comes back," Harisson breathed and turned back to face Sonny, "Sonny, I know you're gay, and I really need you to give me a blow job," Sonny's eyes widened as he looked to the ground again._  
_"I-I-I don't want to..." Sonny whispered._  
_Harisson glared at Sonny, "Do you want me to tell everyone how you tried to seduce me?"_  
_"What? I never did tha-!" Sonny's words were stopped by Harisson's lips. He bit Sonny's bottom lip and then lightly pulled on it. Sonny closed his eyes, he's never felt something so sensual in his life... but then he felt a cold item being pressed against his neck. Sonny's breath caught in his throat as he realized it was a pair of scissors._  
_"I have a way with words... I can get them to believe anything, they already know you're a faggot," He growled into Sonny's ear, "So do this one little favour for me, and we'll just go on like it never even happened... alright?"_  
_Sonny swallowed hard and then nodded, sinking to the ground with tears in his eyes._

The next part Sonny didn't want to think about. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath in.  
"What's up? You keep looking like you're going to faint and it freaks me the fuck out," Joel was looking at Sonny in concern.  
"It's nothing, just thinking about all the shit that has happened during school.. no big deal," He shrugged and sighed.  
Joel sat up and looked Sonny in the eyes.  
"If it's bothering you, you can always talk to me about it," Joel said, touching Sonny's hand.  
Sonny looked down at their hands and pressed his lips together. He told Joel the stories. All the stories starting from grade 5 till his current year. All the rumors, the laughs, the looks, the way people treated him, the way his parents treated him... everything. He confessed that he's never felt like he was loved until now. He's never been touched this way till now. He's never had a meaningful kiss or shared his music or told his secrets to anyone until now. The tears sprung from his eyes when he started to get deeper with Joel.  
"I've tried to kill myself in grade 8..." He whispered, "I had the scissors pressed to my wrist hard enough to feel the blood trickle down my arm... hard enough to feel the pain that I was so used to then... I was so ready Joel... so fucking ready..." His sobs silenced the room and Joel wrapped his long, thin arms around him.

Joel took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of Sonny. He's never had to deal with this sort of thing before, even with himself. He's never tried to kill himself before, let alone need to feel anymore pain. Sonny suddenly looked younger to Joel with the tears in his eyes and his face red a blotchy. Joel could just hold him forever and tell Sonny that his life with him was going to be so much better, but he knew he shouldn't.  
"Here," Joel said, handing him a cigarette, "I know we shouldn't smoke in Gregory's house, or in general anyway, but it will relieve the stress for now," He said and lit it.  
Sonny inhaled a whole breathfull, and slowly released, letting smoke fill the room. Joel knew they were going to get kicked out that day, but he would run miles for Sonny.

Joel was better now and Sonny joined him back on the streets. Joel's assumption was right, Gregory had kicked them out, but quite frankly, Joel couldn't care less. He thought that maybe he found the right thing to keep him sane. The right thing to help him on this adventure. That right thing.  
They walked the streets and sat down a mile away from Gregory's apartment. Sonny looked up at Joel and sighed.  
"I'm sorry," He whispered.  
"That's alright, it was my fault, I was actually planning on leaving anyway," He said. Sonny looked sad and then Joel shook his head quickly, "With you, of course," Sonny smiled widely and looked out onto the streets.  
"It's pretty warm today," He said, stripping off his sweater. That was the first time Joel noticed all the scars on the shorter boy's arms, but decided not to mention them.  
Joel looked up too and squinted at the sun. He then noticed a black van drive by and go into one of the alleys.  
"Yes..." He whispered and began to quickly walk toward it.  
"Woah, wait up! Your legs are too long!" Sonny exclaimed, running after Joel.

They zipped around the corner and just lingered close by as they heard a sudden shreik of pain. Sonny clutched onto Joel's arm.  
"Look Sonny!" He pointed at a man who was getting a tattoo on his arm by a heavily tattooed female.  
Sonny slowly peeked behind Joel and looked at the van, "What is it?"  
"Free tattoos and peircings!" He whispered. Sonny's eyes widened, "Do you want anything? I think I'm going to get a tattoo,"  
"No I freaking don't!" Sonny yelled. The girl looked over with her thick rimmed eyeliner and purple hair. She smiled at them.  
"Welcome back Joel, who's your little friend?" She asked, pointing the tattoo gun at Sonny. He swallowed hard.  
"Hey Quinn, this is So-"  
"My name's Skrillex," Sonny nudged Joel hard in the back.  
"Oh? What a strange name," She laughed, "Looking for anything kid? A tattoo? Maybe a peircing on your pretty little fairy face?"  
Sonny didn't like the rude comment, so he stood his ground and walked toward the girl. She raised a drawn-on eyebrow at him and smiled a hot pink smile.  
"I want my lip peirced... actually I want two lip peircings," He stated, looking angrily into the girl's dark eyes.  
She narrowed her eyes but kept the smile on. She turned her back to him and slapped a towel onto the bigger man's raw tattoo. He got up from the chair and nodded toward Quinn and left the scene.  
"Sit," She said, dusting off the seat.

Joel couldn't believe what he was witnessing. Sonny was trying to be a man again. He sighed and grabbed Sonny's arm.  
"What are you doing?" He whispered in frustration.  
"Getting lip peircings... I always wanted them," He shrugged and sat down with ease.  
"Okay open your mouth, don't be shy," Quinn said and grabbed Sonny's bottom lip and wiped it, "It might hurt a bit, but don't think much of it, I sterilize everything throughly after each use... used to be a professional until I accidently tattood a giant dick on some guy's ass," She shrugged and took a thick, sharp needle from a leather pouch and dropped it into peroxide, "What do you do for a living?"  
"I make music," He shrugged.  
"Oh, what kind?" She asked.  
Sonny paused and looked over at Joel.  
"We're not really sure what to call it," Joel laughed, "But it has a lot of 'wub wub' sounds,"  
"Oh, so like dubstep?" She asked and took the needle out of the peroxide.  
Sonny looked at Joel and he shrugged, "I guess,"  
"Sounds fun," She smiled and grabbed Sonny's lip again, "Okay, Skrills, loosen all your facial muscles and relax, don't pull away or you'll get blood everywhere, and I don't want to have to peroxide my hands again,"

After much screaming and pain, Sonny had two silver studs in his lips and Joel approved of them momentarily. Quinn nodded at her work and told the duo she was actually surprised she did them right this time, which made Sonny feel faint. Joel ended up not getting his tattoo, but Sonny promised him that after they get their needed money, he could get all the tattoos he wanted.

* * *

It was nearing nightime and Sonny convinced Joel to go to the rave with him, even though Joel wasn't still one hundred percent better. He put on his mouse head and Sonny put on his shades. Joel snuck Meowingtons into the club with them. Sonny familiarized his surroundings before getting comfortable on the couch next to Joel, cigarette in hand and trying to see through the scratches in his shades. He definitely needed new ones. He watched in awe as the DJ spun his records. He wanted to know how to mix live. He pressed his lips together when he noticed Joel looking at him. He could barely see Joel's face through the mouse head, but he could've swore he saw him smile.

Joel just sat back and relaxed, listening to the loud club and smiling to himself. He could totally do much better then this stupid DJ did. If he was up there mixing with Sonny, they were bound to be paid big. Joel looked over at a couple females eyeing him and smiling. He waved back and they giggled and ran over.  
"Hey, Deadmouse," One red head said and shook his hand, "I'm Daphne, and this is Melissa and Stefani, we're big fans," She giggled, "Who's your friend?" They asked.  
Joel laughed, "Nice to meet you girls, this is Skrillex" He yelled through the sound of the music and patted Sonny's back.  
"Aww you're so cute!" Melissa cooed at Skrillex, "Mind if I dance with you, Skrilly?" She asked with a giggle.  
Sonny looked up at Joel and pressed his lips together. Joel laughed.  
"He would love to dance with you pretty girls!" Joel laughed and shoved Sonny over. Daphne took Meowingtons and craddled him in her arms as Stefani swayed with Sonny.

Later that night, Joel brought Sonny into the backroom, in which Sonny sat on a stool that was probably taller then himself. He sipped down his first beer and cringed at the taste. After Joel took off his mouse helmet, he gulped down his beer with no sweat. He looked at Sonny and smiled.  
"So, I've been focussing alot on that DJ out there..." He started his conversation, leaning in close to Sonny, "He kind of has no clue what he's doing,"  
Sonny nodded and sipped a bit of the disgusting alcohol.  
"I have to ask you something, Joel," Sonny said, feeling a little buzzed off the bitter drink.  
Joel rolled his wrist as a way to make Sonny know he's listening.  
"Well, it's funny because, even though you like guys, you still flirt alot with girls... girls like that," Sonny nodded over to door of the club.  
"I like to make people happy," Joel shrugged.  
"But isn't that like lying? Don't you feel a little bit ashamed about having... you-know-what with people you're not even attracted to?"  
Joel sighed and put a hand on Sonny's shoulder, "Sonny, you have to realize that I'm very lonely... and horny... most of the time anyway," He shrugged, "I need that little bit of comfort and contact now and then... you do to," He peered at Sonny through his eyelashes.  
Sonny sighed, "I guess,"

Sonny pressed his lips together and then sighed.  
"Where did you used to live?" Sonny asked.  
Joel looked at the small boy and examined his face. He nodded slowly and looked at his hands.  
"I used to live in Niagra with my mom and dad. When I moved in with Felix, he live in a very tall building, somewhere in that direction," He waved his hand dissmisivley to the North, "When I ran away, I had called Gregory and live with him a bit... but sooner or later he got on my nerves, so I moved it onto the streets where I felt content." Joel chuckled, "Sonny, you have to realize that nobody was really there for me. I chose this life. I chose to run away from home, to live on the streets, to go to clubs and fuck anybody that wants it... I chose this life because I felt more freedom. Even in highschool and gradeschool, I would always sneak off and pass a joint around with a couple friends, skip classes, do whatever the fuck I wanted to," Joel shook his head sadly and looked at Sonny, "I would have never let someone into my life, invade my privacy, cross the personal bubble I kept myself inside for 2 years... but when I found Meowingtons, I felt happier, and then Melody- a little girl from that bakery - and now you," He looked at Sonny and smiled, "I don't understand why I feel so open toward you, like I can tell you every little secret I have and you'll take it to the grave," Joel chuckled, "Fuck, I'm rambling again..."  
Sonny chuckled and patted Joel's hand, "I feel the same way," Sonny shrugged and then smiled.  
Joel smiled and just shook his head, "And you realize why I don't jump to a good fuck anymore... it's because now I have you with me... and it doesn't feel like I have to sell out my sexy body to anyone to feel happy," He winked. Sonny rolled his eyes and smiled.

Joel cupped Sonny's cheek and leaned close to him, just close enough to taste the alcohol on his breath. Sonny closed his eyes and felt Joel's hot breath push against his flesh.  
"Thank you," Joel whispered and pressed his lips against Sonny's.

* * *

Sonny and Joel just walked down the street in silence. It was such a beautiful night, a slight breeze pushed back Sonny's hair and he inhaled the scent of freedom. He was glad he met Joel. It was only about 11 at night, but the streets were pretty much dead. Joel suddenly stopped and put Meowingtons down.  
Sonny raised an eyebrow at Joel.  
"What? He has to pee," Joel shrugged and looked up at the sky.  
"It's pretty chilly tonight," Sonny rubbed his arms to create some friction.  
Joel rolled his eyes and opened his jacket, "Come here, we'll huddle under the blanket when we get our stuff,"  
Sonny wrapped an arm around Joel and Joel closed his jacket around Sonny, "You have a blanket?" Sonny asked.  
"I took it fro Gregory," Joel shrugged.  
Sonny chuckled and picked up Meowintons after he was done his bussiness.  
They continued to walk.

**AN: Again, thank you so much for reviewing! Read on, my fellow loves! :D**


	6. Chapter 6 Right In

**AN: Hope you guys aren't hating me too much for the big change, but personally, this story will progressively get better and better (I hope!) So if you have any concerns or comments, either review or send me a private message! enjoy (:**

* * *

That night Sonny couldn't sleep. He was stressing about the performance the next night. He kept making changes to his new songs and programming each key on his keyboard to play a different sound effect. Joel noticed the beads of sweat roll down Sonny's neck as the sun peeked into the cool alley way in which the two had slept in the night before.

Joel would constantly wipe the sweat from Sonny's flesh as he watched his friend work hard. He smiled at the enthusiastic character that displayed itself among Sonny's childish facial features. Joel had Meowingtons curled up beside him, fighting to swallow a whole mouse he caught that morning. Joel loved his little family. Meowingtons crawled over to Sonny once he was done his breakfast and rubbed his head against Sonny's leg. Sonny twitched and rubbed his neck, rolling his head back and looking down at the black and white cat. He leaned down and pet the small creature, but then hissed in pain and went back to rubbing at his neck. Joel rolled his eyes and, using the same tactics as Meowingtons, crawled over to Sonny's side.

"Well you've been working on that stupid thing for 4 hours now, I think it's time for a little break," Joel chuckled, beginning to rub Sonny's neck with his fingertips.

Sonny giggled when Joel kissed just under his neck. Sonny shrugged up his shoulder. Joel smiled and slipped a leg behind Sonny's back. Sonny could feel Joel's arms wrap around him as they looked down the alley way into the streets. It felt somewhat comfortable with Joel there to protect him, the fence behind their backs, the light barking of some nearby dogs, and of course the rumble of the traffic and horn choruses from cars. He leaned back into Joel's warm body as a breeze picked up and just hummed in pure ecstasy as Joel continued to massage the younger boy's shoulders. Sonny kept back a moan and just grasped one of Joel's hands that were on his chest. He snuggled into the bend of Joel's body and Meowingtons joined him. Joel wrapped the shabby blanket over the two and sighed. He held Sonny close and just felt the light heart beat and breathing of the boy for a minute before swiftly falling asleep.

* * *

The atmosphere didn't feel the same when up on stage, looking down at everyone you know wont judge you, wont criticize you for the way you look or appear. Sonny didn't know anyone who would be in the audience, but he would know the man standing next to him, setting up the laptops and sound systems and flashing quick smiles once in a while. The whole week Sonny and Joel were occupied trying to make music they knew would impress the people out dancing tonight. But to be honest, Sonny was nervous. He's never been on stage for years ever since grade 6 at least.

Joel looked around the big, empty room where he knew at night would be filled with strangers all across town. He scratched his head and took a step back to admire his placements. He, too, hasn't been on stage for years. He went live with Rob Swire at a smaller club once, but that was so long ago that he could hardly remember how he'd felt. He walked over to Sonny who was setting up his laptop, and swung an arm over his shoulder, looking off into the large room that looked almost foreign to him.  
"Our first show, Sonny," He announced and took a deep breath through his nostrals.  
Sonny just smiled, "I hope they like us," He said, testing out a few spins on the keyboard, "I'm kinda nervous,"  
"Aw, don't be," Joel said, taking his arm away from Sonny and nudging him, "I was a little nervous too when you brought it up the first time, but now that we're here, I'm sort of pumped," He laughed and stuck a cigarette between his teeth and lit it. Then popped one in between Sonny's lips and grabbed his face. "Hold still," He mumbled and leaned in close enough to make Sonny go briefly cross-eyed. He pressed the end of his cigarette to Sonny's and held it there until he saw Sonny's cigarette start smoking. He pulled away and took a drag. He laughed.  
"That was ... hot?" Sonny chuckled and took a drag on his own.

Joel smiled and sat cross-legged on the stage. All his life he dreamed of doing something like this, showing off his talents to people. The interview flew by like a breeze. Joel laughed when he replayed it in his mind.

_Sonny sat in the chair like a fish out of water. He wouldn't stop moving and looking around the tiny office. He got up a few times and paced around his chair. Joel sighed and sat Sonny back down._  
_"Can you chill?"_  
_"What if they don't like us? Like... what if we aren't good enough and we don't make the money I promised you we'd make? What if we go hungry and have to live on the streets forever? I can't eat pizza for the rest of my life! I need meat, Joel! Like steak or something!" Sonny exclaimed, hearing Joel's stomach growl just at the thought of food. "See what I mean!"_  
_"Sonny, we're amazing! You're amazing! You have nothing to worry about," Joel laughed and kissed the boy's cheek. Sonny blushed and cleared his throat, feeling a boost of confidence._  
_The door clicked open and a women walked in with short black heels and a long black dress. Her hair was dyed a whitish-silver and was curled just above her shoulders. It was Ginger. She looked at the two boys up and down before she took her seat infront of her desk. She examined the laptops placed infront of her and smiled._  
_"An Acer and a Mac? You're pulling my leg, aren't you," She smiled a sweet smile that Joel didn't know if she was being sarcastic or funny, "Now, Joel and friend, what can I do for you? Present yourselves,"_  
_"Well, I'm Joel Zimmerman, and this is... Urm... Skrillex," He said, looking breifly over at Sonny, "We wanted to know if we could put on a gig at this club next week,"_  
_"A gig?" She raised a thin black eyebrow over her dark set eyes, "I don't like you, Joel Zimmerman, but for your cute little friend, I'm willing to give you a shot. Show me what you got,"_

_Joel laughed and winked at Sonny after loading up his program. He spun it around to show the song with Rob Swire, and then another one he recently named "Strobe". Ginger nodded in approval. She then directed her full attention to Sonny as he played his song "Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites"._  
_"You must present at least two songs, Skrillex, or you will not qualify for this," Ginger said, "But the song was so good, so I'm letting you two play one show on Friday. If the feedback from the crew and attenders is positive, we'll see about paying you for later shows, but for now, this is your date," She wrote out a slip for the boys, "You two will have to come back Monday of next week and present to me another song," She raised her eyebrows at Sonny and winked, "And a song together before you preform. Contact me by this number and we'll see you later. Now get out, Joel. The street-boy trash smell is making me gag,"_

After the two set up, they went into the back rooms where they were allowed to hang out before the show. Sonny sat on the couch with Joel and watched TV, something Sonny hasn't done for almost 3 weeks now. Joel noticed Sonny squinting at the television half the time, but he ignored this.  
After helping themself to the food presented to them later that evening, the duo stepped out on stage with the mouse head on and Sonny's sunglasses on.  
"Joel I can't wear these," Sonny whined, throwing the scratched up sunglasses onto the floor, "They're too dark and have too many scratches on them, I can't even see the dials," He sighed.  
Joel thought of something and looked over at the "No Pets" sign and then looked over at Sonny.  
"Hey Sonny, read that sign for me," He said, pointing over at the sign.  
Sonny squinted and took a couple steps closer, "Why? What's it say?"  
"Is it blurry to you?" Joel smiled.  
Sonny nodded, "Yeah, why?"  
"You need glasses!" Joel sang in an immature mocking tone.  
"What!" Sonny exclaimed, quickly turning to look at Joel and losing his balance. He almost fell off stage, but Joel grabbed him.  
"We have to get you glasses! No wonder you were making funny faces all throughout American Idol," He laughed and took off his mouse head to riffle through his backpack.

He took out his wallet and took out the remainder of Gregory's money from the pouch.  
"Okay, we have twelve dollars left," He frowned, "I guess we can just pop over to the Dollar Store and look at some glasses?"  
Sonny sighed and crossed his arms over his chest.  
"It's probably from all those nights staying up late and staring at the computer screen," Sonny shrugged, but remained sad. Joel just laughed.  
"Don't worry, it's a perfect disguise! None of your peers have ever seen you with glasses before, have they?" Joel asked, already halfway out the door before Sonny caught up to him.  
"They haven't..." Sonny shook his head slowly.  
"Okay, so stop complaining, unless you want to be forced back into school," Joel said, entering the Dollar Store just across the street from the club.

The boys entered the store and Sonny went straight for the chocolate bars without stopping. He already had his purpose in mind.  
"No you don't," Joel said, grasping onto Sonny's collar and gagging him briefly.  
He pulled him toward the glasses rack and picked up a pair of yellow-tinted ones. He smiled at Sonny.  
"No." Sonny shook his head.  
Joel pursed his lips and grabbed a hot pink-framed pair. He winked at Sonny. Sonny sighed and looked on the other side of the rack. He spotted a nice pair of faux Wayferers and smiled.  
"These are nice," Sonny smiled and put them on. He tried to look into the mirror on top of the rack but frowned when he couldn't see himself.  
"Here," Joel sighed and wrapped his arms around Sonny's thin waist and hoisting him up, "You're such a midget,"  
Sonny frowned, but then smiled at the reflection, "I like them..."  
"You're heavy..." Joel strained, "I have no upper-body strength whatsoever."  
"I want these," Sonny said after getting down from Joel's grasp.  
"Alright, of course they aren't just 1 dollar..." Joel said, frowning as he read the $2.50 tag.

Sonny and Joel were on stage again. The lights were turned off and the strobe lights, beams, flashers, and other brilliant light shows were turned on and the duo tested their music one more time.  
"Perfect," Ginger said to the boys, "The doors will open soon, so start the music. You boys should get your act together." She looked pointedly at Joel before leaving.  
Sonny looked over at Joel and nodded, putting on his red mouse head. He tested his program and twisted a few dials and let the sound blare through the speakers. Sonny smiled to himself and adjusted his new, black, thick-rimmed glasses atop his nose.  
The doors were opened and everyone piled in. Joel has never been this early to the rave, but he laughed at how awkward the first couple of people must've felt, but that didn't matter. They were alll there to have fun.

Joel took a couple deep breathes and then smiled over at Sonny as a bunch of people started looking up at the two on stage.  
"You ready?" Joel asked Sonny.  
Sonny smiled and nodded.  
Joel twisted a nob slowly and then sped it up until the volume was louder, which got everyone's attention. A long note was played for a while and Joel added another pitch. He played Rob Swire's voice over the speakers and added the bass and electronic feel to the music.

As Sonny sat on the floor and watched Joel work his magic, he felt his heart beat quickly in his chest. He didn't have enough guts to do this... infront of all these people... but then again, he wasn't Sonny Moore, the little Catholic kid who got bullied and called names and sexually harassed and was under pressure all the time. No. He wasn't that boy anymore. He was Skrillex. A man with a whole new life ahead of him. A life with Joel. Making music and doing the things he loved best. Being in the same room as hundreds of nice, smiling, sexually-vibed elders. This was it.  
He got up from the floor and looked at Joel. Joel turned his head to look at Sonny and nodded. Sonny smiled and grabbed two nobs off the board and cranked them up. The bass released a tension that made everyone smile in response. He whipped his hair as the bass dropped. Joel continued his tune and then slowly blended it with the tune of Sonny's new song. It was called "My Name is Skrillex".

Joel couldn't believe the energy Sonny had at that point. Not having much neutrition and a large loss of weight really threw Joel off, but Sonny still had the spirit and ora of a ten year old. Joel envied that of Sonny. His childhood was never as amazing as he hoped though, even though he was one of the most popular kids at his school. He sighed and remebered all the girls he's gone out with just so he could keep his secret safe from any snide people who decided that they were going to tear him down for being different. And quite frankly, Joel couldn't remember the good times of his high school life, only the bad. As soon as he came out to whom he thought was his most trusted, most loyal friend, he found the news spread along streams and streams of Myspace and Twitter posts, cluttering his thoughts with hatred and nasty dreams for months. Joel shook out the thought and looked among the audience. He couldn't help himself but laugh at how many people were dancing and moshing to the music.

* * *

**AN: Again, thank you all for messaging and reviewing (: Sorry for the short chapter :/**

**And if you don't like this story, please consider my others!**


	7. Chapter 7 Bangarang

**AN: Sorry this took so long, but I was just finishing up a few more chapters before I made any final decisions! So here's your favourite chapter ;)**

**ENJOY!**

* * *

The duo were disappointed. They performed such an amazing show, yet they only got a little money from it, so Joel used some of the money they've made from the show to pay for a motel room. All they could afford was one bed on the bottom floor. Sonny didn't mind though. Joel didn't mind either. Meowingtons was snuck into the room and was placed on the bed where he quickly recoiled from and leaped onto the TV to sleep. Joel sighed and flopped onto the bed, exhausted out of his mind from the show.

"This is more disgusting then the dump..." Joel whined, "You know how many people have had sex in these sheets? I could smell it," He wrinkled his nose.

Sonny just stared at Joel for a while, wondering what he was thinking right this moment. Sonny was being reeled into Joel's charm again. He knew he needed to feel the presence of Joel physically. He got up from his laptop and walked over to the bed and sat next to Joel.

"Could you give me one of those back rubs like before? I'm a bit stressed out," He said and felt his face get a bit hot.

Joel smiled, "Sure," He said and crawled behind Sonny.

Sonny felt the same feeling as before, only this time Joel put a little more heart into it, making Sonny close his eyes. His lips parted and he couldn't help but lean forward a bit so Joel had more access to his back. Joel moved Sonny's hair away from his neck and stopped when he saw the freckle the 'Wanted' paper described he had. Joel bit his lip and found the back of Sonny's neck extremely sexy. Joel used his thumbs to rub the nape of Sonny's neck. Sonny let out a tiny moan in response and Joel smiled. Then he leaned closer to his neck and blew a little air onto skin. Sonny's shoulders rose and he leaned his head back.

"Th-that tickled," He whispered.

Joel smiled and then he let his hand fall to Sonny's waist. He lightly kissed the freckle and let his lips hover over Sonny's hot skin, waiting for Sonny's response.

"It's okay... keep going," He whispered in a low tone.

Joel shivered with antisipation but pressed his lips against Sonny's skin and sucked a bit, then let go.

"So how did you like the show?" He asked and pressed his hot tongue against the flesh of Sonny and grazed his teeth over. Sonny let out another tiny moan and interlaced his fingers with Joel's on his waist.

"I-it was fun," He said quickly.

Joel smiled and drew circled with his tongue and then gave another kiss. He let go of Sonny's hands and instead latched onto his shirt, slowly pulling it up and over the younger boy's head. Sonny felt cold suddenly, this being the first time he was shirtless infront of Joel. Joel just wrapped his arms around Sonny and hugged him, feeling their hot flesh mend with eachother.

"Joel... do you want a blow job?" Sonny asked in a whisper. Joel paused and traced his fingers across Sonny's chest.

"Sonny, I'm not Harisson... I'm not going to force you to do anything you don't want to," Joel whispered back, "Just let me see you..."

Sonny nodded and slowly turned around to face Joel. He looked over Sonny's flat stomach, seeing a little tone on his abdomine. Sonny was like brand new to Joel. Joel had never seen a man with no trace of hair on his body, but that just made Joel want Sonny even more. He moves the long, black hair out of Sonny's face and smile.

"Is this weird for you?" Joel asked, "Be honest... have you ever been with a boy like this before?"

Sonny shook his head and just stared at Joel, feeling his face get hot and Joel stroked his bare arm.

"You are so beautiful," Joel whispered.

Sonny smiled and looked down at Joel's hands, "_You_ are,"

"No I'm being serious, I've never met anyone as perfect as you. It scares me sometimes when I think about how easily you've accepted me," Joel took Sonny's hands, "And if you don't want to do it now, we can wait. I'll wait forever for you,"

Sonny looked up at Joel. Into his big hazel eyes, full of sympathy and truth. Sonny shook his head without looking away from those beautiful eyes.

"No, let's do it now... I'm ready," He whispered and squeezed Joel's hands.

Joel smiled and grabbed Sonny's face lightly and pressed his lips to his.

Sonny slid his tongue against Joel's moist one and could taste the cigarette smoke on his breath. He was quite keen to the taste and grew hungry. He slowly eased Joel backwards and crawled ontop of him, straddling his waist and burrying his tongue deeper into Joel's mouth, trying to taste every fraction of Joel he possibly could. Joel closed his lips around Sonny's tongue and sucked lightly on it. He could feel his body turn into a sauna when he felt Sonny's cold hands wonder down his chest and just lightly touch his sensative nipples. Sonny pulled away from Joel's lips and looked him in the eyes as he sunk lower down Joel's body. Joel felt his world turn upside down when Sonny's eyes grew lust-thirsty. Sonny broke the eye contact and took a calming breath before continuing down Joel. He reached Joel's diaphram and noticed there was where the light hair trail started. Sonny swirled his tongue into the light hairs and slowly but surely made his way past Joel's bellybutton.

"Oh my God..." Joel whispered and ran his fingers through Sonny's hair breifly before bringing his elbow back up for support so he could look at Sonny.

Sonny looked back up at Joel and smiled, peppering soft kisses just bellow his belly button and to his boxers.

He laced his fingers around the elastic of Joel's boxers and slowly pulled down. He dropped the boxers to Joel's ankles and just stared in awe.

"Holy shit..."

"What?" Joel croaked, completely and utterly in ecstacy.

"Your dick... is _huge_," Sonny pressed his lips into a straight line.

"You don't have to," Joel said with a tiny smile.

Sonny looked down again at Joel's penis. He closed his eyes and took a calming breath before tracing his tongue length-wise down Joel's shaft. Joel's hip twitched as he tried to remain calm. Sonny was actually going to do it...

Sonny then held Joel's shaft in one hand and put his lips over the tip. Joel could feel the metal of Sonny's lip peircings against the head and he let out a soft moan and encouraged Sonny on. Sonny then unexpectedly swallowed half Joel's length. Joel gasped and bucked his hips slightly but tried to not let Sonny gag. Sonny swirled his tongue around the erection and the metal massaged against his shaft. Joel grabbed onto the sheets and tried not to cum early. He dared himself to look down at Sonny and he wished he hadn't. Sonny's lips were big and red, streched around his length, his eyes closed and his eyebrows pulled together in pure dream. Joel moaned just at the sight and threw his head back as Sonny pushed forward. He then pulled back and violently coughed. Joel quickly looked at Sonny in concern.

Sonny didn't say anything, but continue on what he was doing before.

Joel didn't think he could take it much longer so he sat up slowly but surely and pulled Sonny's face away from his dick. Sonny wiped a bit of precum off the corner of his swollen lips and Joel ground his teeth together at how sexy Sonny looked right then. Sonny's whole face was blush red and Joel leaned forward to taste himself on Sonny's mouth. Joel removed his boxers from his ankles and then worked on Sonny's pants as they continued to make out. Finally, Joel pulled Sonny's pants to his ankles and then stopped to look at him.

"You're sure you're a virgin?" Joel asked, out of breath. Sonny rolled his eyes as he tried to catch his own breath.

"Yes,"

"Just double-checking," He lightly laughed wiped the sweat from his forehead, "So do you want top or bottom?" Joel asked.

"What?" Sonny raised an eyebrow and continued to pant.

"Do you want to fuck or _be_ the fuck?" Joel tried again, "I think beginners should top,"

"Don't worry, I can take it," Sonny assured Joel.

Joel pulled his eyebrows together in worry, "You sure?" Sonny nodded. "Okay, then take off your boxers and turn around."

Sonny bit his bottom lip and nodded, getting off the bed to strip his boxers off. Joel cleared his throat when he witnessed Sonny's dick. It was actually such a perfect size. He had a little bit of hair, which wasn't surprising knowing that Sonny's never had sex before and wouldn't really need a reason to shave, but Joel didn't actually mind hair. Joel watched as Sonny turned around and chuckled at the sight of his familiar ass, but it looked so much more perfect then when he first saw it by mistake.

Joel got off the bed when Sonny tried to remove his socks and grabbed his waist. He spun Sonny to face the bed and leaned him forward.

"Woah wait a second!" Sonny exclaimed nervously, "Don't you have any protection or anything?"

Joel laughed, "But of course," He jerked his thumb over at the box with the mouse head in it, "Hold on, let me go to the washroom first," He leaped up and ran across the room stark naked. Sonny blushed and waited till he was sure Joel was gone and then laid down on the bed and sighed.

He couldn't believe this was happening. He looked around the room, Meowingtons was laying on top of the box. Sonny pulled his boxers back on, not feeling quit confortable, and walked over to pick up Meowingtons. He noticed the box and opened it slowly. He looked down at the mouse head and laughed, remembering what Joel said to him.

_"...all the chicks seem to dig it when I fuck them with it on," _Sonny swallowed hard and just stared at the head. He put the head back into the box and looked out the window.

Did Joel actually mean the things he said to Sonny, or did he just want to fuck for fun? Sonny was starting to fall hard for Joel the first day they met, so he hoped Joel felt the same way. Though the precautions and words seemed promising, Sonny wouldn't mind staying with Joel forever. In fact, he would rather prefer it, but he decided he wasn't going to mention anything to Joel until he was sure about his feelings.

A little more while passed and Joel returned, grabbing out a box of condoms from under the mouse head.

"Wow, we need all those?" Sonny asked nervously but excitedly.

Joel laughed, "They don't sell singular ones, so whatever," He shrugged, "You still want to continue, or...?" Joel looked down at Sonny's boxers questioningly. Sonny just laughed and pulled off his boxers again.

Sonny walked over to the bed again and slowly leaned over the edge, looking back at Joel with a grin. Joel chuckled and slapped Sonny's ass playfully after.

"Okay, Sonny boy, this is it," Joel said, rolling the condom on, "Say goodbye to Lady Virginity,"

"Goodbye Lady Virginity," Sonny waved down at his ass and chuckled, feeling a little more nervous as he felt Joel's hands made their way to Sonny's hips.

Sonny took in a deep breath and closed his eyes tightly when he felt a great pressure at his rear. He knew this was going to be like a rollarcoaster, once the ride stops, there's no way of getting off. As Joel moved past the ring of muscle, Sonny let out all his breath at once and gripped onto the sheets.

"Fuck, ow, fuck, ow, fuck, ow, fuck..." He whispered over and over again as Joel continued to sink in deeper. Just as he fears, it would hurt like hell before it gets better.

"Shit, Sonny," Joel groaned and threw his head back as he tried to push further.

Sonny let out a loud moan and a hiss of pain. Joel slowly pulled out and bit his lip.

"Sorry," He whispered.

"Don't stop," Sonny whispered back hoarsely, "Please,"

Joel melted at Sonny's demand and returned back in with a little more ease. Sonny hissed again and then it turned into a soft moan. He kept whispering '_yes' _over and over and Joel could feel Sonny practically begging for more.

Joel instinctedly reached under Sonny's stomach and stroked his shaft a few times before feeling in deep enough to Sonny to make him gasp and arch his back.

"Ugh.. okay, okay," Sonny whispered and hissed again, "Oh my fucking God, Joel... Joel..." He grabbed onto the sheets and buried his face into his them, his moans were loud, but muffled from the fluffy fabric.

Joel began to realize who he was having sex with and felt a boost of adrenaline shoot through his veins and straight to his cock.

Joel exited Sonny and demanded him to lay on his back. Sonny knew not to question Joel, so he did as the older boy said and went onto his back slowly. Joel lifted his legs onto his shoulders and hoisted his waist up to meet Joel's cock.

Sonny cringed in pain as Joel began to reenter, this newer position a little hard on Sonny's back. But as Joel slowly eased in, Sonny's toes curled and he tried to look away from Joel's flushed face. Sonny couldn't laugh to break the tension, so he mindlessly gnawed on his bottom lip as he felt the pain increase and then soothe into a lustrous wave of sensual pleasure. Joel opened his mouth to make a noise, but he couldn't muster enough air to do so. He clutched Sonny harder and started to slowly roll his hips a little more fluently as Sonny refined into an easier position.

Sonny was so tight that it took alot out of Joel, but he wanted to make sure Sonny was feeling everything he needed to before he came. But Joel could feel the pressure bundle up and prayed for him to not cum so early, but he couldn't help but try to force all the way in.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck! Ugh Joel... fuck me," Sonny groaned and couldn't help but let out a little squeal as he latched onto Joel's hands. Joel made it all the way into Sonny and let out a deep growl of pleasure. Sonny's eyes were squeezed shut and his eyebrows pulled together in a defined and struggling way. His mouth was wide open and his nose was wrinkled. He looked like he was in so much pain. Joel felt bad, so he leaned forward and kissed the tip of Sonny's nose.

Sonny opened one of his eyes to peek at Joel and Joel smiled. Sonny quickly grabbed Joel's face and crushed his lips against the soft ones that were taunting him all this time. The kiss slowed down as Joel started to slide back out. Sonny stopped kissing Joel when he couldn't feel him inside himself anymore and wanted to question him, but without further ado, Joel surprised Sonny by thrusting his erection back into Sonny. Sonny gasped and gripped the sheets. His eyes wide open and staring at Joel's chest.

Joel started up a little faster and began to stroke Sonny's cock once again, pounding harder and deeper into the boy until Sonny screamed something that Joel could barely make out. Joel leaned forward and kissed Sonny's lips softly again, continuing his rhythm.

"Joel... guh! Joel It hurts!" Sonny exclaimed as he started to pant. Joel slowed into a stop and stroked Sonny's cheek.

"You want to me stop?" Joel asked in a whisper. Sonny looked into Joel's eyes and knew he didn't want to. Sonny didn't want to either, but he just wished it would start to feel as good as before. He shook his head, trusting his instincts, and then closing his eyes again, wishing Joel wouldn't pity him.

Joel started off slow again and then gradually upgraded his speed once again.

Sonny's mind went into dream-mode. He felt as if he wasn't alive and all these feelings were just coursing through his veins because of some sexual preferences he's been through lately... and then something hit him. This wasn't a dream. He gasped as Joel hit that one spot deep within his rectum. He bit his lip so hard he could taste the irony blood on his tongue.

Joel was so lost in his own pleasure that he didn't notice Sonny begin gasping and making loud sounds. He kept carrying on with his duties and this time it really felt like he had to cum, but he tried to remain calm until...

"I think... I'm going to..." Joel heard Sonny scream and saw him grip onto the sheets so hard that his knuckles turned absolutely white.

Joel arched his back and pushed as far as he possibly could into Sonny. Joel gasped and screamed out Sonny's name before he came. Sonny's shoulders rose and he gasped again and came onto the sheets.

They just remained in that position for a little bit. Sonny's eyes were wide and staring at the sheets. His jaw hung open as he staggered on what to say. "What the fuck... just happened..." Sonny panted, "My ass... hurt like fuck..."

"You'll be in more pain tomorrow, so I suggest you take a shower now," Joel said in one breath before collapsing next to Sonny, "Shit, you are so tight," He whispered and closed his eyes and just shook his head, "That was the best sex I've ever had,"

Sonny choked a laugh and then turned to face Joel.

"Joel... I know this might sound really strange and all, and I don't want you to think I'm weird or desperate or just mistaken, because I know I'm not and I've felt the same way ever since I met you out on the streets, and now that we had sex and an actual physical connection that I could look back on for the rest of our lives and remember the days when I was young and when I lost my virginity, it was all..." Sonny paused when he saw Joel look at him with those sparkling hazel eyes.

Sonny's mind went blank as he leaned in to kiss Joel's tender lips and just cherish the moment. The first time Sonny actually had sex, and with a boy too. He felt Joel's thumb coress his cheek and let go.

Joel just looked at Sonny and couldn't believe how much air was in the boy's lungs, and where he kept it all, but he knew what Sonny was meaning to say all along.

"I think I love you..." Joel whispered.

Sonny froze in place and just stared at Joel. He could feel his eyes water with joy and he gave Joel a smile.

"I think I love you too..." He whispered back and wrapped his arms around Joel's neck, nuzzling into the soft of his shoulder.

Joel just held Sonny. Their bodies were hot and sticky and they were laying in the most disgusting place he's ever been, but he couldn't care less.

**AN: Don't forget to review!**


	8. Chapter 8 Outta My Life

**AN: Please enjoy! :D**

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Joel took a deep breath through his nose. He nussled his face into the thick, wavy hair of the boy infront of him, breathing silently through his mouth as he slept. It was a strange situation that they were in, not really knowing where this sort of commitment would take these boys, but Joel was just happy that he could confess something as personal as his love. The only other person he's ever loved was Felix, and after that, he's promised himself several times that he would never date or have any sort of feelings for anyone else, but I guess he had to break it at some point in his life. And as he lay there, a smaller boy in his arms, smelling of sweat and cigarettes, he couldn't help but love the warmth coursing through his heart. His heart, the one thing he thought was long-gone and torn to shreds by the victims of his past. Joel stroked Sonny's hair and smiled.

Sonny moved in Joel's arms and made a noise of annoyance. As he rolled over to see who the brute was, he instantly softened and smiled sleepily up at Joel.

"Good morning, sunshine," Joel whispered and leaned down to kiss the half-asleep boy on the lips, "Your mouth taste like dick," He chuckled softly.

"I'm sorry..." Sonny yawned into the sheets and laid his head back down onto the pillow and closed his eyes, "Five more minutes..." He whispered and clutched onto Joel's body.

"Nope, we have to get you up and ready for this beautiful day ahead of us!" Joel exclaimed a bit loudly, in which Sonny groaned and covered his ears.

Joel reluctantly got up from bed and walked over to the windows, pulling apart the shades in a mighty and energetic thrust. But Joel frowned; and to Sonny's dismay, thunder followed by lightning shook the nerves of him.

"Please shut the window, I really don't like storms," Sonny whined.

Joel closed the curtains and turned to look at Sonny crawl out of bed, completely naked. Joel just smiled and crept over to the boy and took him by surprise.

"Ow! Joel I think my ass is broken!" Sonny screamed as he slapped away the taller boy.

"No, that's not it," Joel smiled and kissed the boy's cheek, "Go brush your teeth!"

"That's what I was going -ow- to do," Sonny limped into the bathroom and closed the door behind him.

Sonny looked in the mirror and saw his face all red, his lips swollen and bags under his eyes. He couldn't think how Joel could _ever _kiss someone as atrocious as he. The hot water ran out, so Sonny made himself a bath of luke warm water and slipped in after brushing his teeth with the complimentary toothbrushes the motel offered. He doubted they were clean, but took his chances anyway. He touched his lip studs which were still surprisingly on his mouth, and hissed in pain. He thought they might've gotten pulled during, but he shook it off and just focused on washing himself.

"Knock knock, room service," Joel said, knocking on the bathroom door, "Gotta do my hair,"

"What hair?" Sonny snickered and began to drain the tub, "And can't you wait until I get dressed?"

"Funny thing about that is... everything you own is out here," Joel laughed.

Sonny's face got hot and he wrapped himself in a towel and trotted out of the room. He glared at Joel as he walked over to the clothes sprawled across the floor. Joel snuck into the bathroom.

Sonny got dressed and walked into the bathroom moments later, Meowingtons recieving a sink-bath from Joel. Sonny just watched as Joel ran his hands through the cat's black fur and spoke softly to him. Sonny chuckled and Joel quickly looked over, unaware of his presence until now.

"What?" Joel asked with a smile.

"Nothing, you just don't seem like the type who would treat their pet like a child," Sonny smiled and walked up to the sink.

Joel chuckled, "I was always facinated in children," Sonny raised an eyebrow and Joel cleared his throat, "That came out wrong," He chuckled and picked Meowingtons up with a towel, drying him off.

"Don't worry, I know what you meant," Sonny said with a nod, hoisting himself up to sit on the counter.

"Yeah, it's like if I were to ever get married, I'd probably want kids... or at least a couple more cats," He laughed and held Meowington's in his arms, looking down at the now-clean cat.

Sonny pursed his lips and nodded. He didn't want kids. He didn't want them to grow up and be bullied at school and have to go through every horrible thing Sonny had to. And if he ended up having kids with _Joel, _then that would be worse. Sonny can see Joel being the kind of parent who would always show up for their child's events or volenteer in chaparoning for feild trips, and etcetera. But Sonny smiled at the thought.

Joel walked over to Sonny and stroked his cheek.

"So what did you want to do today? We can't really do much because of the rain," He frowned.

Sonny shrugged and leaned his head into Joel's hand, "Doesn't matter to me,"

"Did you want to go to the store? We still have about 20 dollars left," He chuckled softly.

Sonny pressed his lips together and pulled lightly at Joel's collar, "I don't know, we could always just stay in here," Sonny raised an eyebrow, leaning against Joel and looking into his hazel eyes.

Joel laughed and smacked his lips quickly against Sonny's. Sonny frowned at the pathetic display of affection. Joel then scooped Sonny up in his arms unexcpectedly, and grabbed his room key and stuck it into his pocket.

"Joel, what are you doing?" Sonny kicked and squirmed in Joel's arms, "This isn't funny, Joel! Let me go!"

"Not going to happen!" Joel exclaimed and stepped out of the motel room, walking out into the pouring rain.

"Joel! Joel stop it! Please!" Sonny sheilded his head with Joel's jacket.

"That's what she said!" Joel yelled out into the sky.

Sonny broke free of Joel and ran to the room door, under the hood of the roof, and turned around to glower at Joel.

"Aww, Sonny, come on, it's not that bad!" Joel smiled and opened his arms out to Sonny. Sonny shook his head stubbournly. Joel sighed and dropped his arms, he walked up to Sonny and pulled his chin up with his index finger, seeing that Sonny's eyes were a little red and watery, "You're really scared of storms, huh?"

Sonny looked at the ground, "Can we go inside now?" He whispered.

Joel nodded and slipped the key into the slot, opening the door.

"You okay?" Joel asked, closing the door behind them.

Sonny didn't look at Joel, he was having a mix of sadness and rage at the moment, "I told you I really didn't like storms,"

"I know, I'm sorry, I thought you were just trying to be cute," Joel said slowly and closed the space between them, grabbing Sonny's hands and swinging them lightly, "Can you tell me why, though?"

"It's a long story," Sonny sighed.

"I'm a great listener," Joel assured him, which was true, and Sonny knew that very well.

"Well, you remember Harisson, right?" -Joel nodded- "I was beat up by Penny -That guy, Harisson's girlfriend-, who, by the way, wasn't the smallest girl you'll ever see, and I was pretty much kidnapped by others in my grade who worshipped the grounds they walked on. They brought me to the locked up watch tower by the football feild, where the scorekeeper would program the points onto the big screen, you know. And they told me to climb the side ladder. It was raining pretty bad that day and I could hear the distant thunder, but I did it anyway, because knowing what Harrison did to me before, I was afraid he would've threatened to kill me again." Sonny shook his head and took a seat on the bed, looking at his hands, "They took away the ladder and left me on the roof of the building, there was no other way to get down but jump." Sonny looked at Joel and cleared his throat, "So about thirty minutes passed, and everyone was gone to class and it was pouring rain. I stood on the edge of the building and looked down. It was at least a 27 feet drop and I thought that maybe if I were to stay there long enough, a teacher would get me down. But as I looked over the edge, a sudden string of lightning, followed thunder shook the ground and I lost my balance. I fell 27 feet to the ground and broke my right arm." Sonny bit his lip and snorted in disgust, "Those fucking teachers had it on the security tape, but no way in fucking hell would they report it to the kid's parents... they were too afraid they would get sued for false assumptions or some shit. They're all just a bunch of cowards."

Joel wrapped his arms around Sonny, considering at that moment if Sonny was really happy now with him, or if Joel was just making all the bad memories and feelings come back. It seemed like everything Joel tried to do to make Sonny love him was just causing him more pain, and that's the last thing Joel wanted to do. He wanted to obtain Sonny's happiness and make him feel like this was his home now, and that he was safe from all negativity... well, not _all, _but most.

Joel sighed and kissed Sonny' cheek. Sonny looked over at Joel and smiled a watery smile, leaning into his shoulder and hugging him more tightly. Joel closed his eyes.

"I'm sorry, I wish I could make you happier,"

Sonny shook his head and chuckled, "It's _not_ your fault, Joel."

"But listen, Sonny," Joel pulled his head away to look at the boy with the irritated-looking lip rings, messy black hair parted to one side of his head and an innocent stare of dark brown, "You and I are a team. And this life will be both our persuits of happiness," Joel raised his eyebrows as he felt his eyes get watery, he quickly blinked, trying to hide them but accidently letting a few fall, "You don't understand how much I care about you, Sonny. Since the first time we met, I knew we had a connection, and that's why I took you under my wing. I want you to be the person I never was. I want you to be strong for me. For what we have. And if I'm ever to leave you, don't let go of that strength. Fuck, Sonny, you're still so young and you can still do so many things in life that I haven't even gotten the oppurtunity to look apon."

Sonny just stared at Joel's hands and then looked back into his hazel eyes. Joel leaned in close to Sonny and pressed his lips gingerly to the shorter boy's, tasting the taste of salty tears.

"I can tell you're life is still in turmoil, but I'll help you through it no matter what. I'll be right here for you, always,"

Sonny was silently crying at this point. Not because of what happened years ago, but because of what Joel had promised him at that very moment. Sonny was crying because he can feel the loving vibe that Joel gave off, or how Joel looked at Sonny. It was love, and Sonny knew it.

They didn't talk. Neither of them spoke a word to each other for a whole hour. They just held each other on the bed and Jeol gave Sonny's cheek the occassional kiss, feeling terrible about the way he treated the younger boy.

Sonny then made an attempt to move and got off of the bed, Joel just stayed sitting and watched as Sonny went into the bathroom and closed the door. Joel sighed and layed down on the bed, looking at the ceiling and hearing as the rain slowed down. He thought about how much Sonny's life sucked compared to his own. even though he shouldn't be doing it. Sonny was born and raised in a Catholic neighborhood apperently, and both his parents were Catholic, and he was enrolled in Catholic schools. Then why was Sonny's life so misserable? Wasn't God supposed to always be there for you even when you can't physically see him? Or, that was at least Joel's assumption. Joel smirked as he kept his gaze on the ceiling, wondering if there was really even a God out there. If there was, he was doing one hell of a shitty job protecting Joel's boyfriend.

"Boyfriend," Sonny whispered and let the word slide right off his tongue. He couldn't help but smile at the thought of Joel and him holding hands and walking through the public, but he suddenly got nervous. He looked into the mirror and quickly fixed his hair to make it flow over his shoulder. The shaven part of his head was rappidly growing back, but he laughed. He knew that if his parents were to ever see him like this, they would just kick him back onto the streets. But he didn't care. He smiled. "Joel Zimmerman is my boyfriend... _my _boyfriend. Sonny Moore's boyfriend... Skrillex's boyfriend," He practised different lip movements as he repeated the word in a whisper, his piercings hurt like hell, but he loved feeling the butterflies errupt in his stomach every time.

Joel looked over at the dresser and chuckled. He remembered hearing that in every motel room, they held a Bible. Joel got up and opened one of the drawers, and there it was. A black-cover book with a foil imprint of the title. Joel ran his fingers over the book, not really having to ever read one of these, and not really sure how to start. He opened the first page and then skipped a few pages.

Sonny exited the bathroom and sat next to Joel again, this time with a little more leap in his movement. He looked at the book in Joel's hand and raised an eyebrow.

"I didn't know you were Catholic,"

"I'm not, but shit, this book is interesting," Joel trailed off, eyes wide and focused on reading the page.

Sonny laughed and read along with Joel.

"_Ecclesiastes 8:11... 'When the sentence for a crime is not quickly carried out, the hearts of the people are filled with schemes to do wrong_.'" Joel raised an eyebrow, "I'm guessing it means like when a crime is not punished quickly enough, people feel like it's safe to do wrong," Joel looked at Sonny and watched his facination turn greater.

"Yeah, so like if someone is littering, and a little kid sees it being done but doesn't see the person get punished for doing it, then the kid would probably end up littering too," Sonny chuckled, "To be honest, I've never read the whole Bible,"

Joel laughed, "I've never read a whole _book_, period."

* * *

Joel and Sonny stepped outside. The weather was a little hot and muggy, but the sun was trying to peak out of the dark clouds, and Sonny could see a distant rainbow. He adjusted his backpack onto his shoulders and Joel tucked his box under his arm, Meowingtons buried snugly in the mouse head. Sonny shrugged off his old battered thrift sweater and stuffed it into Joel's backpack. Joel smiled at Sonny and held out his hand. Sonny's heart skipped a beat when he looked at the hand and then back up at Joel's face. Joel wiggled his fingers and then winked. Sonny swallowed the lump in his throat and then took a step closer to Joel and slipped his hand comfortingly into the older man's. Joel's long, thin fingers intertwined themselves with Sonny's. Sonny pressed his lips together and looked up at Joel as they began to walk away from the motel.

A shot of pride hit Joel when they walked down the street, hand-in-hand. Everyone that walked by would do a double-take at the couple and Joel would just smile. Sonny's cheeks were heated up everytime someone flashed them a dirty or grossed-out look, but he didn't really let it get to him.

As the two walked, Joel pointed to a distant store. Sonny squinted over the now-shining sun and saw a tiny thrift store.

"I usually go in there to get clothes and stuff," Joel shrugged, "I go through shoes like Kleenex,"

They walked into a store. The smell of moth balls and musk filled Sonny's nostrils, but Joel didn't seem to care much about the change of environment. He instantly started to rummage through the racks and Sonny looked into the others by the wall.

"Do they have any mediums over there?" Joel asked Sonny.

"No, there's just dresses and suits and stuff," Sonny said, frowning and recoiling away from the ugliest powder-blue tuxedo he's ever seen, and then he turned and froze in place when he saw a slim-fitted blazer.

He quickly looked over at Joel and saw that he was focussed on the other racks of clothing to notice Sonny. He looked back at the suit and ran a hand over it. It looked exactly like the blazer he wore to his grade 8 dance. He sighed when he really thought about it. Rachel wasn't his friend anymore and she took all the girls with her. Only a couple of girl spoke to Sonny after being hauled off to go dance with some punk rock kids. When Sonny thought about it, he could've danced with anyone he wanted. If he had the courage that he felt now, he would've had the best time of his life...

"Hey, Sonny," Joel touched his shoulder.

The raven-haired boy leaped up, frightened by Joel's sudden appearance. He turned around and saw Joel staring at something on the wall. Sonny raised an eyebrow and looked over to what was so interesting. His eyes instantly widened at the poster he saw in front of him, "Uh... Joel?

"Yeah..." Joel breathed, "Holy fuck..."

The poster was a picture of Joel and Sonny as _'Deadmouse and Skrillex'_. Joel had his mouse head on and two fists in the air, while Sonny held a hand out in front of him and had his hair swinging wildly infront of his face, the keys and laptops in front of the boys as the crazy light show lit up a couple fans in the front, giving off a rightious-looking sillouette.

"How _dare_ they take out _'the'_ from my name..." Joel frowned.

"That's not the point!" Sonny slapped Joel's shoulder.

"Ow..."

"Read it! _'New DJ's in town! _Deadmouse_ featuring _Skrillex _at the Valentine Rave!' _Joel, do you know what this means!" Sonny asked frantically, grabbing onto Joel's sleeve.

Joel smiled and looked down at Sonny.

"We got a permanent gig!" He yelled, grabbing Sonny and lifting him from off the ground, swinging him in a complete circle before placing him back down on the ground, "This is the best day ever!" He threw a fist into the air.

"Excuse me boys, may I help you find something?" A young girl popped her gum and raised an eyebrow at the boys.

They both shook there heads and couldn't stop smiling. The girl laughed and looked at the poster and then back at the boys.

"You boys... you boys must be Deadmouse and Skrillex, and I right?" The girl asked with a huge smile on her face, "I saw you guys live last week! You were sick! Next week it's supposed to be _packed _in there!"

Joel's eyes widened and so did Sonny's.

"Y-you're fucking kidding, right?" Joel asked.

"No way! The center is in the paper! It says they might be charging people for limited tickets pretty soon," She laughed and patted Joel's shoulder, "You guys are becoming so famous now! Can I get an autograph?" She asked.

"Sure," Sonny chuckled, getting overly excited about the whole thing.

The boys signed the poster and the women's t-shirt and then they were on their way. Joel was freaking out, while Sonny was grinning widely at all the people who stopped to stare at them. Joel was starting to feel a little uncomortable.

"This is really bad, Sonny..." Joel whispered as he brought Sonny into one of the alleys, "What if my face... my _real _face... is plastered in one of those magazines? What if we become so famous that we're broadcasted on TV?" Joel asked, gripping Sonny's shoulders, "What if our parents find us..."

"We just wont go back to them, Joel," Sonny shrugged, "They can't force us back,"

"They can force _you _back into school, Sonny. You're still a kid," Joel gritted his teeth and looked into Sonny's eyes, "You can't be recognized as Sonny anymore, alright?"

Sonny nodded and tucked some of his hair behind his ear, looking to the ground, feeling a little upset about the fact that he can't go back to school and shove his fame down the throats of his peers... or show his parents how truly talented he was.

Joel sighed and kissed Sonny's lips softly, pulling away slightly, but still looking into his eyes.

"Let's go," He said, walking out of the alley, dragging Sonny along.

"Where are we going?" Sonny asked, running to catch up with Joel's long strides.

"I have to talk to Ginger and tell her to cancel the show,"

"No!" Sonny screetched to a halting stop and pulled his arm out of Joel's grip.

Joel swung around to face Sonny, his patience hemorrhaging by the minute.

"Sonny, if you don't fucking move your stupid ass, you're going to be put back in school!" Joel yelled at him, hands clentched into tight fists, his temper had boiled over.

Sonny just stared at Joel in disbelief. He could feel a headache forming in his temples and tears stinging his eyes. He examined Joel's face, full of rage and hatred. Sonny knew how much Joel wanted to protect Sonny, but this is something that both of them had worked on for a while, and now that they were actually getting somewhere, Joel wanted to ruin it all? Sonny wasn't going to let that happen.

"Joel, you are so stubborn..." Sonny shook his head slowly as he whispered and let a few tears fall, "Nobody knows who we are-"

"They _do,_ Sonny! They fucking do!" Joel yelled again and then grabbed at his short, dark hair and turned his back to Sonny, looking for something to take all his rage out on. He turned around quickly and walked up to Sonny, grabbing his shoulder, "You don't understand, okay... we cannot do this... I don't want to go back home, Sonny," He shook his head slowly as his voice quieted down. He noticed a few people staring at him and he stared right back until they all departed.

"No, I do understand..." Sonny said and ripped his arm away from Joel's grasp, "And if you're too _scared_ to go on stage with me, then I'll just go by myself,"

Joel choked a laugh and ran a hand over his face. He stood up straight and looked up at the sky, looking at the rainbow and frowning.

"I went through with this all because of you," Joel said, looking at the wall of a building, "I did this... because I love you... and I want to protect you,"

"You're just making it harder for us to reach our dreams, Joel!" Sonny shook his head.

"You know what, do whatever the fuck you want, Sonny," Joel snorted and put both his hands up in a surrender, "Because clearly you don't care much about me if you just choose to hurt me like this..."

"You're only hurting yourself," Sonny whispered.

Joel looked at Sonny finally and Sonny could see the pain in his eyes, but shoved it off.

"Are you serious?" Joel asked in a whisper that was hard to hear.

Sonny sighed and nodded. Joel pressed his lips together and shook his head. Then he grew angry and looked to the ground. It was hard to look at the boy he loved. He wasn't going to take this anymore. He wasn't going to let himself be hurt anymore.

"So I guess this is goodbye," Joel mumbled.

Sonny looked back up at Joel, "Please come with me..."

Joel didn't say anything, but he handed Sonny a box of cigarettes. He turned his back to Sonny and left Meowingtons there as well. Sonny could see the shaking of Joel's shoulders as the soft whimpers of sobs filled the air. Sonny took a deep breath and wiped his own tears away. He leaned down and picked Meowingtons up after readying his lit cigarette between his teeth. He walked toward the club center, looking back every so often to see if Joel actually left yet. Sonny continued this pattern until Joel disappeared behind a hill on the road. Sonny just continued his walked and then made his way past the metal fence and into the parking lot out back. The cracked cement lots looked abondoned and grey, but the warm, setting sun lit up the area with a deep orange glow. Sonny sat on a cracked, broken sidewalk and looked out into the only patch of green in the city, with the giant factories blowing white smoke into the air. Sonny blew out his own smoke and then looked down at the now-tiny cigarette. He threw it to the ground and watched as a silver car pulled up into the lot.

Ginger stepped out in some very high, white platforms and a short, white, mid-theigh dress. She smiled at Sonny and closed the door behind her.

"Excellent you can make it tonight. Where's Mouse?" She asked, looking around.

"He's not coming," Sonny said blankly and stood up, stepping on the cigarette and grinding it into the ground.

"Oh, sweety," Ginger frowned and walked closer to the boy, wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug.

Sonny accepted the hug and began to cry into her shoulder.

* * *

**AN: Tell me what you think (: Big changes will be made soon! So stick around :P**


	9. Chapter 9 The Devil's Den

**AN: A lot of changes have been made, so I hope you still review and tell me what you think ****(: Please Enjoy!**

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Joel sat at the curb on the opposite side of town, a place he hasn't been to before. He didn't know the people there, but they all seemed too ghetto for his liking. He couldn't make the right decision and follow Sonny. How could he have been so stubborn? He knew he was the one who was in the wrong, but there was no way he could come to face Sonny and apologize. He picked at the hole in his jeans and sighed. Was there even anything to do around here? There were shopping centres, but most of them were brand-name or high-class. He did see a bookstore though and wondered if he could get a Bible. He was feeling quite inspired by the book lately. Maybe it would give him some sort of hope?

As he entered the store, a few thugs at the back looked cautiously over at him, eyeing him suspiciously, and then going back to their conversation. Joel walked up through a couple isles and looked through the books. He didn't know what the Bible would be under, and he didn't want to ask for help. He finally saw a large variety and looked around for anyone who was watching. He checked his pockets for any change. 3 dollars were made up in in nickels and quarters. Barely enough to buy the book. So when the coast was clear, Joel grabbed the book and slipped it into his bag. He turned around to leave and didn't stop walking until he was out the door.

He looked back and inhaled a lung-full of cool air that seemed to seep throughout the city. He zipped up his jacket and began to jog as far away from the store as possible. There were a few people dealing drugs of some kind by a corner, and across from them was a very loud club that Joel had touched the door of. He could see the lights flashing through the crack at the bottom of the door and heard a lot of yelling and clapping. Most likely a strip club of some sort. Joel sighed and pushed himself away from the door, mindlessly crossing the street to venture out the rest of the foreign area. He knew he could get beat up or raped or kidnapped, he knew that he was just getting himself into trouble, but he didn't care. He wasn't happy and anything else but going back home was an open option for him.

He turned the corner and stopped, breathlessly seeing a very old, abandoned-looking condo mashed between two tall apartment buildings. Joel looked around to see if anyone was watching him, and then took a cautious step forward. He put an ear to the rotted door and listened intently for any movements, and when he heard none, he entered the building. He closed the door behind him after making sure no one was in the room and sighed. It wasn't the most disgusting place he's slept in, but it was so old that the walls looked like they were about to collapse in. He wondered why the city hasn't torn it down yet, but he was thankful that they haven't.

He put his box down and his backpack down next to it. He took off his jacket and placed it onto a flat surfice on the concrete and then lay on top of it. He pressed his lips together when he remembered he left Meowingtons behind. He could feel the moisture singe his dried and tired eyes. Instead, he got out the small black book from his backpack and tried to find a page that caught his eyes.

_"When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my good promise to bring you back to this place. For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you, and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile."_

Joel pressed his lips together and closed the book quickly. He let the tears fall from his eyes.

* * *

Sonny woke up with tears in his eyes. He was in the back room where he and Joel once sat for hours on end, watching re-runs of American Idol awaiting to perform. But Sonny didn't feel that happiness he felt anymore as he sat there now. He opened his eyes to the back of the room, he instantly focused on the glow of the TV. He was actually considering going back home. If Joel didn't come back for him, then there was no point in staying on the streets any longer. He wouldn't survive. He slowly got off of the couch and rubbed his eyes. He looked over at the large digital clock that hung from the wall and sighed. 3:00. There was still 2 hours until Ginger came back, and Sonny was starting to get a little hungry.

He couldn't believe that he put all his faith and trust into Joel, just to get his heart stepped on. Now he knew what it meant when they say _"love hurts"._ Sonny squeezed his eyes shut when he felt the moisture sting ever so slightly. He didn't want to cry anymore over some stupid past. Now was not the time to look back, it was the time to move forward.

Sonny took out his laptop from his bag and loaded his program. Meowingtons jumped up and snuggled in Sonny's lap. Sonny jumped a little, because he forgot that Joel abandoned his best friend too, but just stroked the cats soft, black fur and continued on with his work.

"It's okay, Meowingtons," Sonny whispered to the small cat, "You'll live with me now. I'll take care of you..." He sniffled and pressed his lips together.

Sonny worked on a new project, putting some of his hurt feelings into the music. He didn't know what came over him, but he cleared his throat and sang softly into the microphone, hoping it would pick up the sound better then he intended. He wrote on a pad of paper he found in the room.

By the time Jersey Shore was over, a knock on the door snapped Sonny out of dream world.

"It's Ginger!" The girl's voice rang from behind the door.

"Oh, hey," Sonny said, jumping up to unlock the door.

Ginger was smiling widely as she brought in a big pizza box, napkins and plastic plates.

"I thought you were hungry," She laughed.

Sonny smiled, "Straving,"

"Well sorry about that, here you go," Ginger said, walking over to the table. She stopped and looked down at the piece of paper. Sonny sprinted over and gathered up his things to move them.

"N-no problem," Sonny said and shoved the papers into his bag.

"I got pepperoni," She shrugged and sat on the couch and opened the box. The steam hit the ceiling and the smell of freshly baked pizza filled the room. Sonny was about to drool. Ginger put a piece on a plastic plate for Sonny.

She watch in awe as he worked down the piece and already reached for another.

Ginger chuckled and worked her way into the first bite.

"This morning was supposed to be the Equinox, you know," She said, dabbing her pink lips with the edge of the napkin.

Sonny raised an eyebrow, "A what?"

"The Equinox... it's when both of the two points on the celestial sphere at which the ecliptic intersects the celestial equator," Ginger said.

Sonny paused, "Huh?" Ginger sighed and laughed.

"Sorry, I did a project on it a while back," She said, crossing a long, fish-netted leg over the other, "It's when the sun crosses the celestial equator, and when the length of day and night are approximately equal. It shows the beginning of Spring,"

"Oh," Sonny laughed and bit his lip, "I get it..."

Ginger nodded, "So what was that you were writing about?" She asked, looking at Sonny.

Sonny bit his lip and shrugged, "Lyrics,"

"Oh, do you sing?"

Sonny nodded.

Ginger smiled and wiped her hands off on her napkin, "I'd love to hear what you've got so far,"

Sonny took a shaky breath and nodded, getting up from the couch and grabbing the crumbled up papers from his bag. He cleared his throat and stood up taller.

"I've never really shared any of my lyrics with anyone, so it might sound a bit crappy,"

"Well, we'll find out when we hear it," Ginger smiled.

Sonny nodded and closed his eyes. He pictured himself all those years ago, on stage when he wasn't afraid of performing. He didn't know Ginger that well, but he felt comfortable enough to try his best.

_"This year is old like a dying father_

_whose will is out of spite_

_we pile into separate agendas _

_with the songs of defeat _

_playing in our minds_

_For you i give and give away_

_my unhappiness in color_

_for your abandoned heart to see them_

_to bloom into your world_

_"Binded to your perfect lands_

_to live like somber cattle _

_and we're gathered as seeds_

_to sprout mid Sahara _

_for who for what?_

_For you i give and give away_

_my unhappiness in color_

_for your abandoned heart to see them_

_to bloom into your world."_

"And yeah... that's all I got so far..." Sonny looked at the floor in embarrassment.

Ginger's eyes were widened and her jaw was dropped. She instantly stood up and started clapping. Sonny's cheeks started to burn.

"Oh my God, Skrillex!" She exclaimed, "You're amazing! How long did it take you to write that? I never knew you sang! Why aren't you famous yet?"

Sonny nervously chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck, "I used to perform before I had no... audience,"

Ginger took a deep breath and crossed her arms, "You are too good,"

"Thanks," Sonny smiled sheepishly.

Ginger took off her little white sweater and put a hand on her forehead.

"Thank you, now I'm overheated," She chuckled.

Sonny moved uncomfortably when he saw the older girl's dark, slender shoulders tense. He looked to the floor and put his papers back into his bag.

"Well I guess I should get ready for tonight's show," Sonny said quietly, "Thanks for the pizza,"

Ginger looked up at Sonny, a little disappointed, but nodded and put on a fake smile, "No problem," She got up and walked up to Sonny, wrapping her arms around him, "If you need anything, anything at all, just give me a holler," She said and pulled away from Sonny to look at him again.

He nodded and watched as Ginger walked over to the door, her long silver/white hair bouncing behind her. As soon as she closed the door behind her, Sonny collapsed onto the couch and closed his eyes. He knew Ginger was coming on to him, but he couldn't quit this job yet, he needed the money.

After a good 10 minutes of collecting his thoughts, he went back to work, Meowingtons rubbed his head against Sonny's leg. Sonny looked down at the cat and noticed Ginger's little white sweater left on the couch. Sonny got up slowly and took hold of the sweater. He was contemplating whether or not he should chase after Ginger and give it back to her. It _was_ pretty chilly in the building at night...

* * *

Joel couldn't sleep no matter what position he was in. He was cold from the inside out and he couldn't stop shaking. The only light that was in his room came from his laptop that was slowly dying. He's been trying to make music for hours now, and according to his laptop, it was 3 in the morning. He sighed and was ditermined to try once again and sleep. He wrapped his jacket around himself and then looked around. He rubbed his weary and painfully tired eyes. He so desperately needed sleep. He closed his eyes when he noticed that the screen of his laptop flashed off. There was no more light. He was now trapped in the darkness. He took a deep breath in and then tried to count sheep. Counting sheep... what a waste of time. It didn't help him because every time he would count sheep, he would be thinking, and thinking led to thinking about Sonny, and thinking about Sonny made him feel the pain in his chest once again that was keeping him awake. Instead, he opened his eyes slowly and looked around.

That was strange, the room seemed much darker just seconds ago. He looked down at his laptop, but then he remembered he couldn't check the time because the machine had recently died. He took the jacket off from around his shoulders and then froze when he heard a bustling to his right. When he looked over, he saw that it had only been a large plastic sheet blowing slightly in the wind infront of the window. There were no windows when Joel first entered the building, was there? It was an old window, fogged from age and mildew build-up over the years. Joel found it very strange that the light patterns on the floor began to drift onto the walls and fill the room with a faint orange glow. When Joel successfully tucked his jacket back into his bag, he paused.

He heard a shuffled movement in the far right corner of the large room. Joel slowly and surely stood to his tired and aching feet, looking around for this monster who was out to possibly steal Joel's stuff. He wasn't going to let anyone bother him. Not now. Not when he was just begging to have a few measly minutes of sleep. He looked around once more and then froze when he heard a few crunching noises. He looked to the ground and saw colourful leaves scattered all around his feet. Leaves? All he remembered was the floor being covered in dust and dirt. He moved the leaves around with his feet and then snapped his eyes up to catch a brief silhouette of a shorter figure.

Joel's heart pounded madly in his chest as he took a small step forward, triggering some massive force in the room and making Joel collapse to the ground. He grunted in frustration and swore under his breath as he tried to regain his strength. He looked up when he felt a presence. He widened his eyes when he saw a short, paler boy stand in front of him. The boy wore a fancy blazer that was made of silk and shone in the now-clear sunlight.

The boy had a thin, white tie hanging loosely from his slender neck. A long mane of hair was neatly placed over the boy's right shoulder. He bent his arm tenderly to fix his thick-rimmed glasses atop his nose once more. It seemed like everything was in slow motion when Joel saw those eyes. Hazel eyes. And those small lips that he once locked in a loving embrace with his own. They were punctured with two silver studs on his bottom lip. Joel had remembered how they grazed his erection when they first made love, and how they tasted everytime he kissed him. Joel slowly got to his feet, towering over the boy with the half-shaved head. Over the boy with the cute and large nose. Over the boy in which he loved so deeply. And just as he hoped, Sonny held out his hand for Joel. Joel held back tears as he latched onto Sonny's small hand and followed him wherever he may lead.

The walls of the building came crashing down, but Joel didn't seem to care or notice. He followed Sonny out of the area and into a large, green meadow. Joel raised an eyebrow as he looked around at the beautiful scenery. He wanted to ask where they were, but before he could make a sound, Sonny moved his palm out toward the right in gesture to make Joel understand everything. A tall, white arch stood on a small stage. White and blue ribbon streamed through the weaving in the arch and flowed silently through the slight breeze of the Summer evening. Joel opened his mouth to say something, but then stopped when he realized that Sonny was not holding his hand anymore. Actually, he was no longer next to him anymore. Joel looked all around and noticed that he was now standing under the arch. Where was Sonny? Joel was beginning to panic, for he didn't understand what was happening. But then Joel closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and opened them. He licked his lips nervously and realized that there were people sitting in little white chairs infront of the stage. In front of him. He knew what was going on now.

He looked over, on music que, toward the end of the made-up isle of chairs. Everyone looked back, actually. Sonny stood there, by himself, hands clasped infront of him. He peered at Joel through his thick lashes and then took a few long, graceful strides toward the stage. Joel's heart was racing so fast at this moment that he kept his jaw clenched tight, in case it tried to leap out of his throat. Were all his dreams about to come true? This is everything he's ever wanted, to be committed to the one he loved. Sonny John Moore.

_Sonny Moore... Sonny Moore, will you marry me?_

Joel jerked up and took a few calming gasps of breath before opening his eyes and familiarizing his surroundings. The sunlight was gone. The leaves were gone. The meadow, the stage, the arch, Sonny... all gone. Instead, darkness overwhelmed Joel. He laid back down and curled himself into a tight ball. He silently cried himself to a very unkindly sleep.

* * *

Sonny knocked on the big white door of Ginger's room. He nervously picked the dirt from underneath his fingernails as he heard steps approaching the door. Ginger opened the door, her long white hair was pulled into a tight ponytail atop her head. Sonny couldn't help but see her change of outfit: a very small, white-lace top and small, black shorts. Her heels were also different then before. Ginger looked Sonny up and down slowly.

"Hello there," She said with a pink smile.

Sonny swallowed hard and held the sweater to Ginger. She looked down at it and took it gently.

"Thank you. Come in," She said, stepping aside and opening the door wider.

"I-I should actually get going, I have-"

"Plans?" Ginger asked, raising her eyebrow.

Sonny looked into her begging eyes, filled with plea, and sighed. Sonny slowly entered the room, his stomach twisted into knots when he saw the low-dimmed lights and a few scented candles lit on the tables and assorted chocolates laid out. The room smelt of strawberries and rose petals. Sonny opened his mouth to say something, but then heard that Ginger had locked the door. His heartbeat quickened as he turned around to ask what this was all about, but before he could speak, Ginger grabbed his face in between her hands and pressed her lips roughly against his. He didn't know what to do, but the impact on Ginger's strength made the two collapse onto the floor, knocking over the plate of chocolates. Sonny held onto Ginger, afraid of either one of them getting hurt.

She breathed roughly in his ear as she worked to remove Sonny's button-down. It took a few seconds to realize what was happening, but Sonny took hold of Ginger's shoulders and pushed her backward. She fell with a thud and her eyes widened in surprise at Sonny.

"What the _fuck a_re you doing?" Sonny asked in a terrified cry.

Ginger just stared at Sonny. She then got onto her knees and sighed.

"Do you want this job or not?" She asked, her expression rapidly switched from surprise to fear to anger.

"Of course I do!" Sonny said, sitting upright and looking over Ginger, "I didn't know this was part of the deal..."

Ginger cleared her throat and closed her eyes, "If you want the job, then you have to have sex with me," She said, opening her eyes to look at Sonny's reaction.

Sonny looked down at his hands and wondered why he didn't say no yet. He was gay, right? He is in love with a man! Or... _wasn't _he? He looked back up at Ginger. Why did all these weird situations happen to him, and never to someone else? He's never heard Joel say anything about being sexually harassed before. But he did remember saying that Sonny was irresistible.

Sonny sighed and shook his head slowly, but then looked up at Ginger. She raised an eyebrow. Sonny stood up and and took a deep breath.

"I need this job," He whispered, almost to himself.

Ginger slowly stood up as well, towering over Sonny in her heels. She shrugged. Sonny pressed his lips together and then began to undo his button-down. Ginger watched as each button slipped from its place. Sonny let the black shirt fell to the floor. Ginger smiled and ran a hand through Sonny's hair.

"Yes?" She asked, a hand trailing down Sonny's torso.

Sonny shuddered at the foreign touch, but nodded, "Yes."

* * *

**AN: Review? What do you think about the changes? :)**

**(And the song Sonny sang is called "Equinox" by Sonny Moore) (:**


	10. Chapter 10 R My Dreams

**AN: Hey everyone, sorry I haven't worked on this story in a while... there has been terrible things happening in my family lately and I just haven't found the time nor motivation to write. I hope you can forgive me if I repeat a lot of feelings going on between Sonny and Joel, and I hope you can excuse my lack of imagination and creativity in this chapter... I'm just not in the greatest mood. **

* * *

He thought about what happened between him and Ginger the night before. Ginger's tanned body was so perfect and seductive and Sonny was severely turned on, but why didn't he go for her? Why did he push her away and quit the job? Why didn't he take a chance, risk all it took, and gained some money so he could live a happier life? It's because he was still in love, and the only life he would have was going to be with Joel.

The feeling of pure love was heard to never leave one's heart... the same heated sensation one feels when sharing the bond of a single kiss would never be forgotten. That same taste he tasted on Joel's tongue now lingered in his mouth. At this point, he wasn't even concerned if he lived or died on the streets, as long as he was with Joel. And so he began his search for the love of his life... because quite frankly, Sonny knew he couldn't live without him.

Sonny had fallen asleep in a small and secure alley way, behind a couple of garbage cans. He was scared that he was now alone. He awaited for the sun, but after a while, he drifted off into a peaceful sleep. When he woke up in an alley with Meowingtons in his arms and his backpack behind him, he yawned and stretched out his arms to the clear blue sky. He saw the sun just peak over the roof tops of the tall buildings and frowned. How was he supposed to find Joel? How did he even know Joel wanted to see him again? He grabbed his stuff and walked out onto the sidewalk. He looked at the park and then over at the far away school. It was Tuesday, which meant the kids were at school, probably not caring about his disappearance. He just shrugged and scratched the bald patch on his scalp. He looked down at his old and battered shoes.

Sonny looked down at the cracks and dryness of the colourless sidewalk as he walked. He couldn't stand to look at the people who just stared back at him. He never realized it before because all he really cared about was Joel. Everything that mattered to Sonny was right beside him, walking with him and talking to him. The sting of tears filled Sonny's eyes. He felt stranded and hopeless. What if Joel didn't want him back? What if Joel found someone better and was living somewhere with this new, rich guy? Sonny gritted his teeth and saw a poster of Joel and he on stage stapled on the telephone pole. He felt the tears roll down his cheek as he tore the paper off in one angry stride and threw it to the ground. He bit his pierced lip and winced at the pain. They were sore, probably infected from the unclean environment he's been living in. He should just go home, there was no point in him living on like this. He knew he would die if he didn't find Joel. From starvation, in two separate ways.

The starvation of hunger, and the starvation of unjust love.

He felt his heartbeat race when he felt something nudge him in the side. He walked over to the wall and dug into his back for whatever he stored. He shuffled around and then stopped when he found a cold, metal item touch his fingertips. A quarter. It was like faith had called his name. He looked up from the quarter and saw a nearby telephone booth. He pressed his sore lips together and slowly stood up straight. Meowingtons rubbed against Sonny's leg and he looked down at the cat. He smiled and leaned down to pet him. Was this such a good idea? He suddenly felt his stomach turn in a nervous tension.

* * *

Not far from where Sonny was suffering, Joel was having mixed feelings. Having -or thinking of having- a relationship with someone like Sonny was completely absurd. He needed a distraction from his careless wondering. He didn't need Sonny. He didn't _want_ to need Sonny. He only needed himself. He's done it before, but why is it so hard now? Joel has once overcame a difficult breakup, so what was so different about Sonny that made Joel want to rip his hair out? It's not like Joel lost his virginity to Sonny. It's all been done before. So _what if _Sonny found him on the street? So _what if_ the sex was unlike any other Joel has ever had before? Joel was stubborn and wouldn't let something as small as a little boy control his life. That was just it... Sonny was so young.

That was probably the only reason Joel cared so much for this boy. His age. He was so young, so helpless, and most-likely the type who would fall into any sort of relationship in the second of a heartbeat. Joel just carelessly swung his bag over his shoulder after dusting off his clothing from the filthy floor. Yeah... that was it. Joel sighed. He knew he was wrong, but he needed to get over Sonny if he wanted to move on. He knew Sonny wanted to move on, so he didn't want to get in the way with any of his dreams.

Joel stepped out of the dusty old house and breathed in a fresher scent. The whole atmosphere changed from the night before. As Joel walked down the alleys, they reminded him of the old alleys he and his family used to walk down way back when. As soon as Joel thought about his family, he stopped in his tracks and turned on his heel, taking a longer route, trying to avoid the alleys and any sullen memories.

* * *

This was crazy! Just absolutely ridiculous! Sonny was not ready to do what he was longing to do. He wouldn't. He couldn't. He needed to find Joel and wrap his arms around his thin body and squeeze, never let go and fall asleep. He had to run away. But was he running from fear? He glanced back at the telephone and took in a deep breath. Meowingtons crawled over to the phone booth slowly and then looked back at Sonny with his deep, tired eyes. Sonny thought he was going mental from the lack of sleep when he saw Meowingtons nod and smile, but he knew it was the right thing to do.

He so swiftly and suddenly ran to the plastic booth, like he was going to get sucked into his heart's spell once again. He forced the door closed behind him and took another deep breath to calm his nerves. He turned around and looked at the metal box. He almost forgot how to use one. Sonny pressed the foreign, plastic-feeling squares on the metal box. The clear, plastic walls around him kept him feeling unsafe, like he had a million eyes on him. He pressed a cold, hard metal piece to his ear and awaited the rings that tore through his ears and straight to his stomach. Nervousness. Regret. Was this the right decision? What if Joel wanted Sonny back? What if this was all a big misunderstanding. No. It was too late.

"Hello?" Someone's voice rang through the metal receiver.

"Hi... mom?" Sonny spoke softly, "It's Sonny..."

* * *

Joel snapped his head up and looked around him. Nobody was on the streets but him. Nothing but the wind made a noise. Not even birds whistled in the sky. It was a beautiful and warm day, but Joel didn't feel very comfortable. No matter where he was, he needed something. It felt like he was a young teenage girl who just lost their cell phone. To lose something that you've been treasuring for a while, no matter how long or how hard you tried to protect it, always has some sort of impact on a person. Joel couldn't stop himself from turning the corner and walking toward the city that he knew Sonny was to be in. He just wanted to go back. There was no other explanation for his absent-mindedness or his crazy, realistic dreams.

But as Joel turned the corner, he stopped. Two familiar men stood there and eyed him vigorously as soon as they recognized his presence. Joel's heart skipped a violent beat as he turned quickly around to start walking away.

"Hey, get back here!" One of them hollered in a bellowing tone.

Joel began to run as fast as his tired legs would push him. He heard the thumping of heavy feet after him and he just gave up wasting his breath. The man grabbed Joel by the shoulders and spun him around to face a shorter man with an unshaven face and short, choppy, muddy-coloured hair. Anton Zaslavski. Better known as _Zedd._

"Hello, Joel," Zedd tried to keep the growl out of his German-accented voice while he talked, "Haven't seen you in a while. Where's your little boyfriend? Oh that's right, he dumped your ass and left for college, correct?" He stared Joel in the eyes angrily. "You know what's so funny? And I must have said this about twenty times already, but who, in their right mind, would give up friendship just to go fuck and makeout with some _loser _across town?" Zedd spat.

"Felix was not a loser..." Joel whispered.

"Sorry, what did you say?" Zedd looked up at the sky and cuffed a hand around his ear, "I didn't quite catch that."

Joel decided not to waste his breath and yanked his arm out of the bigger man's grasp. The man just struggled to keep Joel from taking off.

"This is my friend, Daniel," Zedd said, moving his hand to motion toward the man, "He's very strong, trustworthy, and probably won't run off on me for some boy,"

"So... you were jealous?" Joel asked.

Zedd's eyebrows quickly pulled together in anger as he took two long strides in front of Joel and smacked him hard across the face.

"Shut the _fuck _up, faggot!" Zedd yelled.

Joel looked into the green-blue eyes that belonged to a stranger. He could feel the pressure behind his own eyes build up, but he decided it was not best to show Zedd and Daniel how weak he really was. For so long he's been up to his tough-guy act, but ever since he met Sonny, the softness of his touch and his voice has been reluctantly peering through his mask. He knew it was out of character for him, but he couldn't bring himself to admit it. He just tensed up under Daniel's grip and felt the man release him. Joel forced himself not to instantly hold his reddened cheek and instead, shrugged his bag back onto his shoulder and began to walk away.

"Where do you think you're going? You haven't said _one _word to defend yourself! You coward!" Zedd exclaimed.

Joel stopped in his tracks and closed his eyes, feeling his eyes moisten ever so slightly. The whole reason why he didn't stay around for Zedd was because he was shaken with fear. The fear that Zedd would see right through him and criticize him. He didn't need it then, and he certainly doesn't need it now. Joel spun quickly around to see the shorter man and Daniel staring after Joel. He took a few steps toward Zedd and Daniel tensed up.

"You have no right to call me that," Joel said in a barely audible tone.

"But I did...you going to go cry about it like in high school?" Zedd spat back, but Joel can see the fright in his eyes, "When you came out to everyone that you're a faggot and how unaccepted you were at that school... I was the _only_ one who cared, Joel," Zedd said, lowering his voice a bit, his anger turned to sadness, "You left me alone at that school, you knew I was being bullied for being the friend of a faggot, but you just left me there," Zedd's voice broke off and he quickly looked to the ground. "I didn't even come out yet and they seemed to know everything about me already..."

Joel just looked at Zedd. He didn't know if he was feeling angry or upset, but he knew it was part of his fault as well. He sighed and put a soft hand on Zedd's shoulder. He flinched, but as soon as he tried to look at Joel, Joel squeezed him into a hug.

"I'm so... sorry," Zedd sobbed into Joel's shoulder.

Joel shook his head slowly and put a hand at the back of his hair, "Don't be. It was my fault,"

Zedd wrapped his arms around Joel as well.

* * *

Sonny closed his eyes when he heard a car slow down. He didn't want to face his mother. He should've ran while he could, but it would be useless to do that now. Now that she's found him. Now that Joel wasn't there to protect him.

"Sonny?" The women asked when the window was rolled down, "Get in the car. Now."

Sonny sighed and took a few steps forward to open the door. Meowingtons was in his bag that he placed on his lap when he crawled into the back seat of the car.

"You smell like piss. You are taking a shower as soon as you get home." She demanded and revved the engine. The drive was surprisingly silent, but Sonny knew as soon as they got home, she would start yelling. And if his dad was home, he would instantly get kicked out of the house anyway. So it was a win-win situation. He smiled silently to himself.

When they parked in the underground lot, his mom grabbed her purse and keys and got out of the car quickly. Sonny gathered his belongings and exited the car as well, looking over at his pepped-up mom in disgust. She began to talk quickly and quietly until she looked over at her son and screamed.

"Holy shit, Sonny!" She covered her mouth with her hands as she stared at his hair, "What happened to your beautiful hair? And what in the Lord's name are _those?_ Piercings? Oh, Sonny, wait until your dad sees this," She laughed nervously and shook her head as she grasped on to Sonny's arm and dragged him up the stairs and into the cold elevator.

Sonny felt a little rebellious and smiled to himself behind his torn shirt sleeve. He could feel Meowingtons squirm in the bag and he reached inside briefly to pet him.

As soon as they entered the apartment, Sonny took all his belongings into the bathroom and locked the door. He inhaled the fresh scent of lavender and then exhaled slowly. Home. He didn't care that it was pretty draft in the apartment, but it felt secure and safe. He started the water in the shower as soon as he smelt his own filth mixing with the freshness. He unzipped the backpack and let Meowingtons out to roam free about the washroom. He would bathe him after.

Sonny stepped into the searing heat of the shower and let all the dirt wash from his body. He rubbed the Irish Spring soap bar across his body and then stopped when he reached his lower back. He sighed when he thought about sex. Joel's sex. The only sex he has ever gotten. And it was probably going to be the best he was ever going to have. He wasn't about to masturbate in the shower though. He still wasn't sure if Joel was coming back, and he strongly doubted he would anyway. Sonny sighed and massaged the shampoo into his hair. Once he rinsed off and got changed into some clean clothing, he locked his door and placed his laptop on the ground. He began to occupy himself with his music until he heard a knock on the door. His heart skipped a beat.

"Sonny, can I come in?" His mother asked, her voice sweeter then usual.

Sonny raised an eyebrow, but got to his feet and let his mother inside his room. She swiftly walked past him and sat on the bed. He pressed his sore lips together and sat on the floor with his laptop again, looking up at his mother occasionally as she looked around the room, almost as if not wanting to make eye contact with her own son. Sonny sighed but understood why.

"Mom, I can explain..." Sonny started after a while of silence.

"Have you gone _completely_ mental?" She asked with a shake of her head, looking down at her son in dissaproval, "Me and your father try hard to help support you and this is what you do? Run off, shave your hair, get those... those _piercings_ in your face? Where has this stupid behaviour come from? Why would you rather be alone then with the comfort of your family... the ones who love you and-"

_"Love me_?" Sonny spat and got to his feet again. "You didn't_ love_ me, and you _still_ don't love me! If you loved me so much, why didn't you try to _find_ me? Why didn't you do something when you heard I was being harassed at school? Why didn't you or dad get off your_ lazy asses_ and try to come_ look_ for me? What if I were to get killed? Then what? You probably would be happier if I wasn't here, right? The only reason you came and got me was because you thought I was going to get the police involved, right? Then you sure as hell would've been screwed." Sonny laughed like it was a joke, "And why would I travel alone? Tell me why."

Sonny's mom just sat there, staring up at her son with disbelief. She pulled her eyebrows together in anger and stood up. She walked over to his laptop and slammed the lid down. She picked it up and walked out of the room with it in a hurry. Sonny was paralysed. He knew what was next. He heard something slid open quickly and then his mom grunted. Sonny snapped out of his trance and rushed to stop his mother.

"Mom, stop it! God damn it, mom, give me back my laptop!" Sonny screamed, but it was too late.

His mom clapped her hands together to get rid of the invisible dust and then looked over at her son. She shrugged her shoulders and then slapped her hands against her thighs. Sonny felt tears build up in his eyes.

"I'm calling your father right now. There will be no more fooling around with that stupid noise-making device. You will do your homework, your father will help you with it. You will get good grades and people will like you," She said, tears in her eyes as she examined her son, "You will shave the rest of your hair off and get rid of that disgusting metal in your lip."

Sonny glared at his mom and shook his head slowly, "I'm not changing how I look,"

His mother sighed heavily and rubbed her temples, "Do whatever you want. I'll pray for you," And with that, she walked into her bedroom and slammed the door. Sonny couldn't believe what just happened. He quickly looked out the window and down at the ground. Tears prickled his eyes and he gritted his teeth when he saw the destroyed laptop smashed to bits on the pavement. He slammed his fists against the window sill and began to cry.

* * *

AN: **Reviews would be very much appreciated. Thank you for those who are still reading and reviewing, it means alot to me!**


	11. Chapter 11 Professional Griefers

**AN: Hey everyone, here is chapter 11! Please enjoy :D And anyone who is a Jehovah witness reading this story, please don't hate on me for a slightly discriminate comment made in this chapter by Ginger, that's just her personality, not my own opinion :)**

* * *

"Thanks again for the ride," Joel half-smiled at Zedd.

Zedd nodded and sighed, "No problem," He laughed and looked at Joel's face, "I'm sorry again..."

"Don't be" Joel shook his head slowly.

Zedd pressed his lips together and then looked around frantically. When he spotted something, he knelt over and took out a white MacDonald's napkin from the trash bag. He scribbled something down on it and then handed it over to Joel. Joel took it without question and then smiled at the digits scrawled along the napkin with a thick marker.

"So we can keep in touch," Zedd shrugged.

Joel smiled wider and then wrapped his arms around Zedd, "I'm sorry for leaving you,"

"It's okay," Zedd whispered back.

"As soon as I find Sonny, and as soon as I get a phone I'll call you," Joel nodded.

Zedd smiled and nodded back. Joel laughed and stuck up his pinky. Zedd looked at it and raised an eyebrow.

"You're kidding..."

"Just do it," Joel laughed again.

Zedd connected pinkies with Joel and then unlatched. They bumped fists and Joel laughed. After a few awkward seconds of silence, he nodded off Zedd, gathered his stuff and stepped out of the truck.

Joel walked a little ways and waved back at Zedd until he disappeared down the street. Joel took a deep breath and turned to face the familiar building. The Sunset Center. He walked up to the old peeling door and knocked on it. He finally made it to Calling street again, where he and Sonny had went their separate ways, and knowing Sonny, he must've came down here and at least _talked _to Ginger, even if he wasn't there. And Joel had a strong feeling he wasn't there, but it didn't hurt to get some answers.

A tall women with long, white hair answered the door and frowned when she saw Joel.

"Mouse..." She stated bluntly and raised her eyebrows.

"May I come in?" He asked slowly, examining her face.

She moved out of the way and Joel walked into the chilly building.

They walked down the hallway and into Ginger's back room. The first thing Joel realized was the half-melted candles all over the place and the scent of strong lilac and rose petals. He frowned. He knew Sonny was probably here and Ginger tried to seduce him. He noticed it from day one how much happier and flirty she got when Sonny was around. She never liked Joel much anyway. Not after he declined her offer to have sex.

"Want some coffee or cookies or something?" She asked, motioning toward the cart with the treats on it.

Joel looked at the tray and felt his stomach growl. He helped himself to a few cookies.

"If you're looking for your little friend, he ran away," She snorted and flopped down on the couch.

Joel raised an eyebrow and stuffed a cookie into his mouth, "Where to?"

"I don't know, but he's like... _really_ scared of vagina, so I'm guessing a gay bar or something?" She looked at Joel with unamusement.

Joel chuckled and put the other cookie into his bag.

"So he didn't take the offer either?" Joel raised an eyebrow and teasingly tickled Ginger's arm. She swatted him away angrily.

"It seems like all the hot guys these days are gay," She sighed. Joel shrugged.

"Well, thank you," He nodded, "I should get going now anyway, the sun is going to set soon,"

"Wait a sec," Ginger said and leaped up from the couch, "You're leaving already? You just got here!"

Joel raised an eyebrow and looked around, "Yeah... so?"

"Oh well... I don't know," She shrugged and sighed, "Well, if you find him-"

"_When _I find him..." Joel corrected.

"Tell him I'm sorry and then tell him that he forgot these here," She said and walked over to grab some papers off the counter, then slipped them into the palm of Joel's hand.

"What is this?" He asked, opening them to see what they read.

"They were a bunch of lyrics ideas he wrote... he kind of left them here. I'm not sure if it was on purpose or whatever," She shrugged and then looked into Joel's eyes and frowned, "Please come back and DJ," She begged.

Joel ignored her and began to read some of the lyrics. He smiled and looked at Ginger.

"So he writes?"

"And sings," Ginger nodded.

"You don't say..." Joel said slowly and continued reading, "Well... see you later..." He said, turning to leave once again.

"Will you come back? Or at least consider it? I don't know where to find another DJ," Ginger said and frowned.

And just then, the two heard a knock at the front door. Joel quickly looked up and pursed his lips.

"Ah, what the hell do they want _now_?"Ginger groaned and pushed Joel out of the way as she sprinted toward the door in her platform heels, "Stupid Jehovah witnesses trying to sell their stupid beliefs and shit... I swear, they came around here about 10 times today dressed like little girl-guide campers. I would rather buy some over-priced cookies then listen to their bullshit about some _'God'_..." she grunted.

Joel mindlessly walked after her as he continued reading the lyrics. Then he heard Ginger speak again.

"What do you want, pixie?" She asked.

"Umm... I was wondering if you would consider listening to my tracks? I would love to be a DJ here... knowing what happened and all..." She said, her voice timid and afraid.

Joel looked up and his eyebrows raised. A girl with short, black, pixie-like hair and elaborate purple and silver makeup stood in front of the doorway, Ginger towering over her. The girl looked at Joel as he walked up to them and put a hand on Ginger's shoulder.

"Looks like you got yourself a new DJ," Joel smiled, "What's your name, sweetheart?"

"Sofi," She said with a smile.

"Cool, I'm Joel... _Deadmouse_," He shrugged and stuck out his hand, not really caring much if the new DJ new his true identity.

"No way!" She shrieked and shook his hand vigorously, "You are like... my _idol!_" She laughed, "Can you sign my t-shirt?" She opened her leather jacket to reveal a white shirt with a well-drawn mouse head on the front. Joel laughed and nodded.

"You made that?" Joel asked. Sofi nodded and handed him a pen, "That's amazing!"

"_You're_ amazing!" Sofi exclaimed.

"Oh brother..." Ginger sighed and walked away as Joel and Sofi began a conversation, in which Joel was very good at starting now.

* * *

Sonny didn't move from his spot on the bed. He had locked the door, shut off the light, and was lying down on the soft comforter. He missed his room, yeah, but he didn't miss his parents. As soon as his dad would come home, Sonny would get kicked out of the house. He just knew it. He fumbled with the studs in his lip and sighed. It was either lose his look, or his home. He's already lost his life. And his laptop was only part of it.

Sonny looked at the shut window and frowned. He got onto his knees and pulled the blinds open to see the old, ugly neighbourhood. He sighed as the street light flickered and a couple walked down the sidewalk hand-in-hand, cigarette smoke rising from atop their heads. Oh how he wished he didn't make the call. He wanted a cigarette. He wanted freedom. He wanted to be hand-in-hand with the other part of his life. The important part of his life. Joel.

He rolled off his bed lazily and walked over to his bag. He shuffled around in it for a bit and took out the package of cigarettes that Joel had given him. He bit his lip and looked around the room. He quickly walked over to his desk and pulled out one of the drawers. He rifled around for his emergency matches and when he felt them touch his fingertips, he smiled to himself. Sonny flopped onto his bed again and pushed the window until it popped out slightly and then stopped to hear if his mom was still awake. When the coast was clear, he climbed out of the window and sat his bottom onto the old roofing. His toes curled around the edge almost simultaneously. He stuck a rod in between his teeth and struck the match. He held the flame to the end of the cigarette until he saw it begin to smoke. He blew out the first lungful and then heard a soft meow. He looked back into his room and saw Meowingtons trying to climb out of the window. He chuckled and held the cat up. He looked down at Meowingtons and smiled at the black and white cat. He slowly stroked his now-soft fur and sighed.

As he blew the smoke up at the moon, his stomach growled. He had no motivation to get away from the chilly night and make himself something to eat, so he just stayed put. He was not looking forward to school the next day either.

* * *

Joel held up an empty Coke bottle and asked for change in front of a closing convenience store. He got a lot of weird looks, and probably made about 2 dollars before it got dark. He sighed and leaned his back against the wall. He decided he would close his eyes for a couple minutes. He's never really took the time to relax before, but now that he was, everything seemed a little better. For once, it seemed like he wasn't suffering anymore. He took out his package of cigarettes and lit one. As he took a few calming drags on the rod, it tasted weird. He's never really thought of the taste before, and to him it was very bitter and unsatisfying. He began to think. Sonny must've went back home. He must have got caught and went right back home. He's probably laughing right now... laughing at how stupid and naive Joel was. Joel gritted his teeth and balled his hands into tight fists. He took another long drag on his cigarette when he felt the emotion of it all creep into the tears in his eyes.

How could he have been so stupid? Sonny only used Joel to survive. It was probably a test to see how dumb and unfortunate the homeless were. And love? There was no such thing in Sonny's mind. Joel just looked down at the ground in rage, even though he knew he was overreacting a bit. He knew that he got bitchy when he was hungry, but Joel couldn't buy anything, because none of the cheap coffee shops were open that night. He knew he still loved Sonny, even if Sonny was faking it all along. Joel closed his eyes and rested his head on the brick wall again, feeling the cold of the night pierce his skin.

The sounds of the city calmed his nerves slowly, and he was almost drifting off to sleep until he heard tiny footsteps rush up to him.

"Hey, Joel!" An excited voice called.

Joel raised an eyebrow and looked up. A girl with short, choppy hair and sequined pants stood bravely in front of him. Sofi. She was now in a completely different outfit. She wore a blazer that was snow-leopard print and even her makeup had changed into black winged eyeliner. She had her hands on her hips and a huge smile on her face.

Joel laughed and flicked the embers of his cigarette onto the ground, "Why do happy? Got the job?"

"Yeah! And I performed tonight! I just wanted to say thanks again!" She smiled and took a seat next to Joel.

He raised an eyebrow and smiled, "Aren't you a little too young to be out this late at night, let alone work at a club?"

She snorted and reached into her tiny purse and held up a fake ID. "I'm 16," She offered and stared at Joel for a bit, "You?"

He shuffled uncomfortably, "I'm 19," He said and pressed his cigarette to the ground, "You should get back home before someone kidnaps you,"

"But you're here to protect me," She laughed, "And you don't seem like the kidnapping type,"

"How would you know?" Joel snorted and got up from the ground, dusting off his pants and grabbing his things.

"Because," She said and got up as well, walking quickly to catch up with Joel, "You're the _Deadmouse_,"

"No, I'm_ homeless_," Joel spat, "I would_ rather_ be a dead mouse though..."

"You're homeless?" Sofi asked slowly and stopped in her tracks.

Joel sighed and raised an eyebrow when he saw Sofi stare at him in disbelief. He shrugged and then scratched the top of his head.

Sofi opened her mouth to say something, but instead shuffled in her blazer pocket and took out a phone. Joel took a step closer and Sofi held up a patient finger. She listened to the phone for a while and smiled.

"Hello, mom? Can someone stay for the night? And old friend of mine... the... _deadmouse_..." She whispered the last word and quickly glanced up at Joel.

Joel shook his head and reached forward to grab the phone, but she spun around and began to walk away. She laughed, mumbled a few more things, and hung up.

"Okay, come on Joel," She said and grabbed Joel's wrist, "You're staying over tonight. My mom is a huge fan of yours,"

"No, really I should..." Joel tried to look for an excuse but sighed, "Alright,"

Sofi laughed and clapped Joel on the back, "I already have a feeling that we'll be pretty good friends, Joel."

Joel just sighed.

* * *

Sonny woke up the next day. He was in his warm bed again. All he really wanted to do was close his eyes and drift back into a peaceful rest, but he knew he had to get to school. And so he pushed himself to get out of bed, tousled his hair a bit and stripped down nude. He looked down at his appearance. He was awfully skinny. His ribs poked out from his torso and his hip bones were erect from his sides. His arms were limp and he was so tired that he just fell back onto his bed again and took in a deep, settling breath before getting back up to find his uniform.

After dressing, he brushed his teeth, put his glasses on, and mussed his hair a bit more before going to the kitchen for breakfast. His parents were out working, so nobody was home to see Meowingtons follow Sonny into the kitchen. Sonny made toast and gave a piece of bread to Meowingtons before hiding him back in his room.

"Okay, Meowingtons, you stay here," Sonny said, placing a large bowl of water on the floor followed by a couple more pieces of bread and a slice of orange. He didn't know what cats ate, "I'll be back in a few hours." He knew Meowingtons couldn't talk, but it still comforted him that he could talk to someone who won't ever talk back.

He ran out the door with his bag and his iPod in his ears and walked down the streets, once again, toward his school. When he got in, everyone stared at Sonny. Sonny decided not to look at them, he only knew they were staring because of his hair and lip piercings. Nobody ever did that at a Catholic school. He walked all the way to his locker and raised a curious eyebrow. The locker was clean. No vandalism. No harassments. Just a greenish, metal door that was battered and worn. Sonny smiled inside. Maybe people finally understood him. Maybe people were finally getting over him. Maybe it was going to be a good day after all. He turned his combination and opened his locker. A cloud of moist, brown earth rained down all over his face. All over his hair, in his mouth, under his glasses, down his shirt. He took a step back and his glasses fell off, releasing the dirt from his eyes. He rubbed at them and then held his nose. It wasn't just dirt. It was manure. Sonny cringed in disgust and felt his stomach turn as the kids in the background began to laugh.

They laughed harder and harder until Sonny closed his eyes and just stopped. Stopped moving, stopped thinking, stopped listening. All around him, there were laughing children. His age, if not a few years older. Laughing. Calling him names. Calling him _faggot._

"I bet you like the taste of shit, you ass-licker!" One kid spat. The laughing grew harder.

"What a fucking Diva! Look, he's going to cry!" Another keep cooed.

Sonny balled his hands into fists and then opened his eyes slowly, looking at his locker and frowning. All his stuff was soiled by the atrocious smell of manure. Sonny, in rage and anger and frustration and humiliation, slammed his locker door, without locking it, and walked away from the scene. Just walked away from all his troubles. He didn't even look back or go to the principal's office. He walked all the way outside until he was unseen behind the tall, white, game watch tower. He threw his bag to the ground and fell to his knees. He lurked forward violently and threw up in the grass. He didn't stop until he began to dry heave. He began to cry, digging his nails into the earth and ripping out the roots of the grass. He buried his face into the ground and his cries became muffled and worthless.

Why did this happen to him? Why do people do this? Can't there just be one day that wasn't filled with hatred and despair and disgust? Just one day... it was never going to happen. Sonny clawed at his hair to try to get the mess out of his hair. Just when he thought everything was going to be okay. It just became worse. Why did people harass others who are different? Why is Sonny such a victim to the school? Nobody there to help him... worthless. Nobody there to comfort him... restless. Nobody there to save him...

Sonny cried harder when he felt a warm liquid fill up his mouth. He has been biting his tongue hard. His mouth pooled with blood and he spat it out, wiping his mouth of manure and vomit. He couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't take one more day of this hell. He used the rest of his strength to get up and start running, as fast as he could, to his house.

He worked his short, thin, tiny legs to its maximum speed to the point where he couldn't feel them anymore. He felt the vibrations of the concrete connecting to his feet with every jolt, but his legs weren't his. Nothing was his anymore. What was pride? What was it? Has he ever felt brave before? Has he ever had pride in who he was before? Where the fuck was Joel?

Sonny didn't stop. He unlocked the door quickly and didn't bother to shut it behind him. He didn't care. He then slowed his pace when he was inside. He was breathing heavily and wearily as he unlocked his bedroom door and opened it slightly. Meowingtons walked over to Sonny, but Sonny ignored the cat and walked straight over to his bed. He crawled over the bed and took a deep breath as he latched onto cold metal. Sonny's tears had dried up. Every last one of them. Only the current tears had glued his long eyelashes together as he tried to blink the blurriness away. He didn't need to see. He didn't need anything right now. He took a deep breath and then pushed out the window a bit. His stomach turned violently when he felt the cool air push against his crusty-layered face. He nodded to himself to confirm that what he was about to do will make the pain go away. It will make everything better. People won't hate him anymore. People won't look at him anymore. People won't harass or throw manure or make rude, nasty remarks to him ever again. He would go somewhere that was rumoured to be a very nice, peaceful place. He smiled and felt the stretch of his skin as the dried up dirt on his face crumbled and slightly flaked off. He put a leg out of the window.

* * *

**AN: sorry for the cliff-hanger! I hope you enjoyed that chapter! Reviews are always welcomed, thank you :D**


	12. Chapter 12 Scatta

**AN: You wouldn't believe how big my smile was when I read all your amazing and beautiful reviews! Thank you so much for enjoying this story! I think it's turning out much better then before, if you don't agree, then let me know why! Thank you so much again! Enjoy chapter 12 (:**

* * *

That morning after he spent the night in Sofi's cold basement, he had had breakfast with the small family. It was very awkward for Joel, though. As he briefly glanced at Sofi's single mom, he began to remember why she knew him. And when he found out, he couldn't help but widen his eyes and look down at his food that seemed almost repulsive to him. They have had sex in the club. After then, Joel barely ate. He barely spoke. He barely made any eye contact with Sofi or her mother all morning, even though the women kept making sideways glances at him and winking. And after he told them he had to leave, Sofi walked him to the door, gave him a kiss on the cheek, and told him that she hoped he would find what he's been looking for. Joel shuddered at the contact, thanked her for the hospitality, and left without another word. Left very quickly.

That was one reason why he never came clean about his identity. As he walked, though, he couldn't help himself from being slightly displeased with his actions. He should have just ate as much as he could. He regretted letting something as stupid as sex get in the way of things that were very important. Important. Something clicked inside Joel when he walked past the park. He instinctively looked over at Sonny's school. Something deep in the pick of his growling stomach felt wrong. The police were there. Why were the police there? Joel ran as fast as he could toward the school.

There were a couple of kids outside talking to the police. Joel leaned forward and held his knees, panting as he watched a few kids yelling to defend themselves. Joel strained to listen and heard Sonny's name. His heart skipped a bit. This wasn't good.

"Do you know where Mr. Moore is now?" One of the police officers asked.

The kid shook his head, "He just ran out all angry and stuff, I don't know," He was frightened, Joel could tell. Anger built up in Joel as he looked around quickly to see if a short boy with a half-shaved head was walking around anywhere. He felt like he wasn't alive. His heart raced so fast in his chest, he thought he would've passed out then and there, but he remained awake. But despite all panic, Joel straightened his back and put on his most professional face as he walked up to a very young policeman.

"What's going on, officer?" He asked, his voice cracked a little when he addressed the man.

The officer turned around and eyed Joel up and down. He snorted, "None of your business, sir, now please step back."

"I have to know what's going on, I'm his... I'm a very good friend of Sonny Moore,"

The officer sighed and looked around and then looked at Joel's face again, "Some kids played a stupid prank on him. Sonny looked a bit troubled, so they picked on him. They filled his locker with manure and the last thing Sonny did was shut his locker angrily and run out of the school,"

"Shit," Joel whispered and grabbed at his hair, looking around again, "Does anyone know where he could be?"

Just then the policeman's radio buzzed in and the officer held up a finger to Joel and turned his back to him.

"Come in... seriously? Shit... okay we'll be right there," The officer ran to his car and leaned into the window. He buzzed in the radio there. Joel came hurriedly over with wide eyes. He was afraid of what they discovered, "Yes, floor 23, room 674 on Patio Avenue." He opened the car door and got in. He looked up at Joel.

"What's going on..." Joel asked, his voice breaking.

"He's going to jump," The officer said seriously.

Joel stopped breathing. He stopped breathing and he didn't move. The tears and pain froze in his face and the officer bit his lip.

"Are you okay, sir?" He asked, the youthful worry on his face really digging deep into Joel's emotion, "Please, calm down." He was about to get out of the car until Joel screamed something into his hands and kicked the police car angrily. "Sir, please don't violate a police car, I'll have to arrest you..." The policeman threatened silently.

"Take me to him," Joel begged, "Please take me to him."

The officer hesitated. But when he looked into Joel's eyes and saw the pain and fear in his eyes, he nodded slowly and unlocked the car. Joel quickly sprinted to the other side of the police car, almost tripping over his own feet. He got in and didn't bother putting on his seatbelt.

The officer quickly put on his sirens and backed out of the school lot slowly, avoiding anyone in the way. Joel kept gnawing on his bottom lip, tears streamed his face now. Uncontrollably. He didn't care if he looked like a child.

When the police car pulled up to the apartment building, there was an emergency there and 5 police cars. A pile of people were pushing to look at who was on the roof. People Joel have never seen before. Joel tried to peer out of the window. He couldn't see anyone. Before the car stopped, Joel unlocked it and jumped out, running and breaking the caution tape. He ran up to the building and grabbed the doorknob. A few policemen grabbed Joel and dragged him backwards.

"No!" Joel screamed and yanked his arm out of their grasp, clawing at the officers, "SONNY!" He screamed and his arm was pulled back again, "SONNY NO!"

* * *

Sonny stared out into the big blue sky and felt a tear run down his face. He couldn't hear anyone. He didn't want to hear anyone. He didn't care if his mom was crying for him to get down. He didn't care if his father was threatening him. He didn't care that anyone wanted to save him from what he was about to do. He didn't dare look down at the crowd. He knew it was big. He knew all they awaited was for him to jump, and that's exactly what he was hoping for. He would finally get the attention he deserved all these years of being invisible. He would finally be known as someone. He loved the attention. All the negative attention from all those people who never cared for him. As soon as someone threatens their own lives, everyone jumps and runs to see if you would actually pull it off. He knew it. All they wanted was a show. He closed his eyes and smiled, feeling the breeze pick him up.

* * *

Joel was crying and screaming and kicking. He looked around through blurry, tear-streaked eyes and heard a loud voice. He couldn't make out what it was saying, but it was so unnaturally loud. Joel's eyes widened and he finally twisted out of the officer's grasps. He sprinted toward an officer who was talking softly through a megaphone, and knocked him down, grabbing the megaphone out of the chubby officer's hands. He turned the volume as loud as it would go and screamed into it. He screamed as loud as he could. As long as he could.

Sonny's lip twitched as he heard the ear-shattering scream. He caught his breath and looked down finally, seeing someone way down there, holding a large white megaphone to his lips. Sonny rubbed the tears out of his eyes and tried to make out who it was. Tall, thin, wearing battered clothing. Sonny almost laughed, but ended up letting the tears spill out of his eyes. Joel did love him. He did. Sonny knew it now. He had come back.

"Joel..." Sonny whispered and took a step forward. He fumbled and realized then how high he was from the ground. He threw his arms around, trying to grasp something, but slipped off the edge of the building. He quickly grasped the ledge and scraped his nails against the roofing, ripping a few partially off. A hot, white pain fled up his fingertips as he gasped and his mouth was agape, unsure of what to do.

"SONNY!" Joel screamed again, seeing as Sonny was hanging by his hands. A policeman finally got a hold of him as another took the megaphone from him. Joel sprinted forward and kicked at the door. It wouldn't open. He tried to open it but the door was locked.

"Fuck!" He screamed and pounded his fists against the door, "HELP!" He screamed. He kicked at the doorknob over and over again, as hard as he could. His stomach ached from starvation and anger and frustration. He kicked it once more and the handle snapped off, setting off an alarm. The policemen ran forward to try to catch him, but Joel pushed the door open and ran to the nearest staircase, knowing that the elevator would take too long. He ran as fast as he could, sometimes missing a few steps and fumbling forward, but he made sure his long legs would jump as many stairs as he could muster. He made it to floor 23 and ran down the hallway, seeing that only one door was open. He kicked it and rushed in, looking around to see if anyone else was home or if he got the wrong apartment. He has never been in Sonny's house, so he would've never known. But a slight breeze was coming down the hallway. Joel knew a window must have been open. He knew a boy must have been ready to plummet to his death.

Joel ran to the end of the hall where the cool of the air seeped through the door. He pushed it open quickly and saw the window open and Meowingtons up and alert on the bed. Joel quickly crawled over the bed and leaned his long body out of the window.

"Sonny..." He whispered, tears pouring uncontrollably down his face, "Please grab my hand," He touched his fingertips against Sonny's knuckled, seeing how his fingernails were shredded and bleeding.

"Help me, I can't... I can't feel..." Sonny cried and tried to hold on to Joel, but just slipped.

"Sonny!" Joel cried and dove forward, grabbing onto Sonny's wrists, "Hold on... hold on to me!" He demanded.

Sonny tried with all his might to grab onto Joel's wrists, and when he did, the pain in his hands was so unbearable that he screamed in his mind and begged himself not to give up.

Joel used every muscle in his body to pull Sonny up. When Joel pulled him just enough to see his terrified, pale white face, Joel sighed and began to cry harder, digging his knees into the drywall under the window sill. He threw his whole body back and finally got Sonny back onto the roof. Sonny was petrified and couldn't move. Joel didn't let go, even though Sonny was now sitting on the roof, trying to catch his breath.

"Sonny... you fucking idiot," Joel gasped and closed his eyes, breathing heavily, "You fucking... mother fucking idiot,"

Sonny didn't say anything, but crawled back into the room and onto the bed with Joel. He stared at Joel for a while and then his lip quivered and he grabbed him and squeezed as tightly as he could.

"Don't... d-don't ever leave me... a-a-again..." Sonny sobbed and hugged Joel so tightly that he could barely breathe.

"I promise," He whispered and pressed his lips to Sonny's hair.

Sonny pulled back a little when he heard a stampede of feet stop their way into the apartment. Joel looked over at the door when a couple of policemen ran in. They grabbed onto Joel.

"Boy, you broke the law! You're coming with us!"

"Let him go!" Sonny yelled, "He saved my life!"

"Son, he broke the rules of advisory," The officer said and pulled Joel's arms back effortlessly and clamped on the handcuffs.

"Wait a second!" Another officer exclaimed and came into the room, his face red and he was panting, "Let him go, officers, I gave him permission to enter the building," It was clearly a lie, but Joel looked up at the officer in surprise.

"Are you mental?" The officer holding Joel spat, "You know you could loose your job for that!"

"I know, but..." He looked over at Joel and Sonny. Sonny stared helplessly at him, and Joel looked down at the ground, almost ashamed of himself, "He _did _save Mr. Moore's life..."

"Boy, this wasn't any of his concern," The officer motioned his hand toward Joel.

"Let him go, Julian," The young officer demanded, "He should get praise for rescuing someone's life! Not be put in jail! And so what, he broke the law? He didn't harm anyone! He saved someone! Just let him go."

The officer, Julian, just stared in disbelief at the younger officer. He didn't move. He wasn't sure whether or not letting Joel go was the right thing to do. But without further ado, he sighed, unlatched Joel, and took a step back.

"You don't tell anyone about this." Julian looked at Joel with endearing eyes. Joel nodded slowly and turned around to face Sonny who was bawling his eyes out, still filled with fear. "We need to bring you to the hospital, Mr. Moore."

Sonny nodded and looked at Joel. Joel smiled. Sonny pressed his thin lips together and then smile.

* * *

"My son tried to commit suicide? Just because I threw his laptop out the window?" Sonny's mom asked in disbelief. Joel just peered up at the scary lady as she glared at one of the doctors. Joel had his head in his hands as he watched the women's eyebrows move in funny, unnatural ways as she snarled and complained. Joel sighed silently.

"No, apparently there was more to the story that had involved some kids at school as well," The doctor informed slowly, "And why would you throw his laptop out the window?"

"Oh Jesus," She groaned, "I'm going to have a talk with that damned principal of theirs..." She shook her head, "And about the laptop, it's really none of your business, alright?" She snapped and looked over at Joel, "And who the hell are _you_?"

Joel sat up straight and cleared his throat, "J-Joel,"

"Joel who?" She asked and put her hands on her hips, "And why are you here with me son? Did he let you in?"

"I saved your son..." Joel stated.

Sonny's mom just stared at him in disgust, and then rolled her eyes, "Well thank you, I'm very grateful, but you are a stranger to us,"

Joel wanted to snort, but decided it wasn't very appropriate at a moment like this. He just nodded. His mother sighed and looked at the doctor.

"Make sure he's alright. I have to go sit down," She walked off, rubbing her temples.

Joel didn't like her. Not one bit. He looked up at the doctor and she looked back down at Joel with a disturbed look.

"What a..."

"Bitch?" Joel filled in with a little laugh, "Yeah, Sonny's told me all about her,"

The doctor just laughed and then the nurse came out of the room and looked around. Joel looked up at her hopefully and she smiled down at him, "You can come see him now," She spoke quietly.

Joel nodded and got off the ground, dusting off his bottom and entering the room quietly. He stood at the door of the chilly hospital room. He saw Sonny with sleepy-looking eyes staring at the TV screen. He looked over at Joel and instantly smiled shutting the TV off.

"Hey," Joel whispered and closed the door behind him, "You okay?"

Sonny chuckled and shrugged, "A little tired. They injected some pain killers in me, and I'm a little drowsy. The pain is going away though," He looked down at his bandages up fingers.

"Ah, well as long as you're okay," Joel smiled carefully and walked up to the side of Sonny's bed. He lightly stroked his fingers across Sonny's knuckles, "It must have been humiliating, huh?"

Sonny looked up at Joel, at first he didn't understand what he meant, but then he pressed his lips together and nodded slowly when he remembered the manure. Joel shook his head slowly and pushed some of the sweaty hair away from Sonny's face. The piercings were removed from his lips and small, swollen holes replaced them. Joel chuckled and shook his head. Then he sighed and sat on the edge of Sonny's bed.

"I haven't been completely honest with you, Sonny..." Joel whispered. Sonny raised an eyebrow, "When I told you how I became homeless... that I went partying with me friends and my parents were abusive... all of that was a lie,"

Sonny looked distraught suddenly and tried to sit up, but he cringed in pain and sunk down again. Joel took a deep breath.

"Then what _really_ happened?" Sonny asked, glaring at Joel.

Joel looked at the door and sighed, "I was kicked out... for being gay,"

Sonny opened his mouth to say something, but he slowly lightened up a bit when he saw the tears in Joel's eyes.

"That's why I fucked all those women... I wanted to be straight... I knew I wasn't, but I wanted to be accepted back into my family... all because my dad found out about Felix. That's why I moved in with him. Felix, I mean. After he broke up with me, I had to find a new hobby, so I became an anonymous whore... just to feel the attention and the love, even if it wasn't real,"

Sonny wasn't looking at Joel anymore. He was staring down at the sheets, his lips pressed into a straight line. Joel just kept his gaze on Sonny, he knew he was thinking and taking the new information in. Joel didn't know if Sonny would react or not, but he prayed that Sonny would forgive him. Joel stroked the back of his fingers down Sonny's cheek, he quickly looked up at Joel and his eyes were filled with tears.

"Don't cry," Joel whispered, feeling his own eyes fill up, "Then you're going to make me cry and I've been doing too much of that lately,"

Sonny laughed lightly and pressed his cheek into Joel's hand. Joel smiled and watched as Sonny's eyes slowly closed. Joel sat next to Sonny, not leaving the hospital or the room once, even though he was hungry and tired and sore all over. He watched Sonny slowly drift off into a peaceful sleep and just smiled. He ran a thumb over his cheek and then looked all around to make sure no one else was in the room. He leaned forward and looked down at Sonny. His long, black eyelashes fanned out around his eyelids. His small, pale lips were slightly parted as his breathing came out evenly and peacefully.

"You are such an idiot," He whispered and leaned down to press his lips lightly against Sonny's. He stroked his fingers across his cheek again and then let go and licked his lips. He missed the way Sonny's lips tasted. He smiled. He was still in love. He never stopped loving Sonny. Even when he doubted himself, in the back of his mind he was still holding that special place for someone only Sonny could fill.

* * *

Sonny and Joel walked down the street. Sonny was surprised that the care of the hospital was already covered by insurance. His mother has left after hugging Sonny and telling him he was a bad kid. Sonny just chuckled and hugged his mom back. Even though Sonny didn't really appreciate his mom for throwing his life out the window (literally), he knew she still loved him and cared enough to sign him in and out of the hospital. She cared about Sonny, but was just upset about all the bad decisions he's made.

Joel looked down at Sonny's smiling face and chuckled. Sonny looked up at Joel and smiled widely. Joel shook his head slowly and looked down at Sonny's bandaged hand. He reached down and took it gently in his. Sonny quickly looked down at their hands in shock and then looked around to see if anyone was looking. Joel rolled his eyes and stopped in his tracks. Sonny stopped too and looked at Joel in confusion. Joel smiled and lifted Sonny's chin up with his index and thumb.

"I love you, you fucking lunatic," Joel whispered and pressed his lips against Sonny's. Sonny was terrified that people were watching him, that they would judge him, but when he felt Joel's loving embrace, he threw all the negative ideas out of his head and wrapped his arms around Joel's neck to deepen the kiss.

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**AN: This story is coming to an end. :( But thank you all for enjoying this story as much as I did writing this! Tell me what you thought about this chapter! (: And if you were in Sonny's shoes, would you ever forgive your mom after what she's done? Let me know!**


	13. Chapter 13 Summit

**AN: Alright ladies and gentlemen who are reading this story, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that I'm so very happy that a lot of you enjoy this story more then how it was going before, I'm extremely sorry for my lack of imagination at times, but the journey of these two thus far and will continue throughout the end of time and to INFINITY! The bad news; this is the last chapter. I must say that I'm very proud of myself for finishing my first ever fanfiction *claps and cheers and throws confetti* but I'm very sad that I will miss all of you wonderful reviewers and supporters :( Thank you all so much! Please enjoy the final chapter of "Skrillmau5"...**

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Sonny looked up at Joel with endearing eyes as Joel slowly climbed on top of Sonny with his bare torso pressed against the younger boy's stomach. Sonny shivered and closed his eyes, allowing Joel to nibble lightly at the soft flesh of his neck. Joel slipped between Sonny's legs and wrapped an arm all the way around his waist, lifting him closer to his body. The rough breaths that escaped Sonny's lips were shooting straight to Joel's groin, making him moan softly against Sonny's neck. Sonny peeled his neck away from Joel and looked into his eyes once more, leaning closer to try to capture Joel's lips in his own.

"Boys! Come out now!" Sonny's mom called from the other room.

Joel and Sonny both stared at each other with wide eyes and then started to laugh. Joel got off Sonny and stretched out his arms, putting his shirt back on. Sonny laughed and also clothed. Before the boys left the bedroom, Sonny playfully slapped Joel's ass.

He didn't know what to do. His mom was acting a little more caring toward Sonny, but could he trust her? He had a big surprise for her, even though it was _his _16th birthday. It was January 5th and the snow was falling quietly outside. Inside the apartment it was calm, warm, and content. Sonny put on a snugly sweater that Joel had got him for Christmas from the thrift store, and Joel was wearing the one that Sonny had got him. Joel was still living on the streets, but he would spend the cold nights at Sofi's welcoming house. Sonny had begged Joel to come live with him and his mom and dad, but Joel had refused, assuring to Sonny that he would get sick of his company.

"No I wouldn't! You could never be a bother to me! You can stay in my room and stuff!" Sonny had exclaimed.

Joel just laughed, "_'And_ stuff'... Sonny, I wouldn't be able to resist you, and then we would end up waking your parents and then I would be murdered," He laughed. Sonny blushed at the thought of waking his parents during sex. "Just don't worry about me, I'll visit every chance I get," He kissed Sonny's cheek and smiled down at him. Sonny smiled, but agreed.

Now they sat at the table. Sonny's dad was at work in Tokyo for a few months since after Christmas, but his mom and Joel were in the kitchen. Sonny was sitting for a few minutes until the lights went out and a faint glow from the kitchen appeared. His mom and Joel held the cake with both their hands. Sonny's eyes widened at the size of it. The cake was about 2 feet tall with blue icing swirled around a white layer to spell out his name in huge letters and the number 16 under it. Sonny smiled and laughed when Joel almost tripped. After they were done singing _'Happy Birthday'_, Joel took a seat next to Sonny and waited for him to blow out the candles.

Sonny thought long and hard for what he really wished for, and then he got it and smiled. He looked at Joel, then at his mom and blew the candles out. They clapped and his mom went into the kitchen to get the knife. Joel raised an eyebrow at Sonny's smiling face.

"Why are you smiling like that? It's creepy," Joel chuckled.

Sonny laughed and gave Joel a displeasing look, "I just wished for something amazing to happen,"

"Like what?" Joel asked and stroked his finger through Sonny's long, black hair.

"I can't tell you or it won't come true!" Sonny exclaimed.

Joel threw his hand up in surrender, "Okay, okay,"

Sonny's mom came back in the room with a giant knife and laughed a bit, cutting the cake. She looked at Joel and jerked her head toward the kitchen with a small smile. Joel nodded quickly and galloped into the other room. Sonny pressed his lips together and looked down at the piece of cake being pushed his way. Joel came back moments later with a big and little gift. Sonny laughed and shook his head slowly. Joel fumbled with the largest package and then smiled, handing it to Sonny.

"That's from me and your father," Sonny's mom said with a nod, "I hope it's okay."

Sonny's heart beat fast as he slowly tore away the paper, relieving a white box. Sonny gasped and covered his mouth. Joel's jaw dropped.

"You lucky bitch..." Joel whispered.

Mrs. Moore glared at Joel sharply; he apologized for swearing. Sonny removed the rest of the packaging and tried not to cry as he bit down on his lip. A Mac laptop computer rests on his lap. Joel couldn't help but smile. He knew Sonny must have been so happy. And it was very nice of Mrs. Moore to get him the laptop for what she's done to his old one. Joel knew the whole plan. He had known what Mrs. Moore got her son, and he knew exactly how to top it off.

"It took a while to save up to get, but I hope it will make up for your old one..." Mrs. Moore smiled sincerely at her son who now had tears in his eyes. He looked up at her and didn't move. Couldn't move. She rolled her eyes and laughed and walked over to hug her son, "I'm sorry for the hundredth time, Sonny," She whispered and patted his hair.

Sonny cried into her soft mane and held her close for a while. Joel sighed silently and smiled at the loving embrace of mom and son. In a way, he felt a bit envious, but he was not about to run home and hug his mother. No way. When they departed, she kissed his forehead and smiled.

"I love you sweety, happy birthday."

"Thank you, love you too," Sonny smiled up at his mom.

Her and Sonny hadn't really been that close since the day he almost killed himself, but Sonny felt more attached to her for some reason. She became to be a little overprotective, like a real mom should, and he already had forgiven her, but to hear it come out of her very own lips made Sonny realize that he wasn't completely trusting her yet. Now he could.

"Open your friend's gift," She smiled and motioned Joel to step forward as she wiped away her own tears.

Sonny raised an eyebrow and looked at Joel. Joel smiled and put the box on the table in front of Sonny. Sonny took it and shook it a little. Joel raised his eyebrows and laughed.

When Sonny got the paper off, he frowned at the plain white box. It was a little heavy, but he couldn't find the opening to it. Joel laughed and took the cake knife, wiped it off on a napkin, and wedged the box open gently. Inside slid out another box. Sonny sighed and laughed until Joel flipped it around and showed Sonny the front. Sonny stopped laughing and instead gasped. It was the Ableton Live 8: Beginners CD-ROM. Sonny's eyes were wide as Joel took out another, thinner box from the previous package and flipped it around to show Sonny. Sonny squealed with excitement.

"Oh my God, Joel!" He screamed, "How much was all this? You can't afford this! Take it back now!" He slapped at Joel's arm and Joel just laughed.

"It's from me and Sofi," He shrugged, "We split the price. I paid for 80 percent."

"How did you get the money?" Sonny asked, looking up at Joel with wide and terrified eyes. Joel chuckled.

"I cleaned her house every weekend since I first sort of started sleeping over there. Her mom gave me 20 bucks each time," He shrugged.

"What is it?" Sonny's mom asked, picking up the thinner item.

"That, Mrs. Moore, is the Ableton Live Controller. You use it with this program to make music," He smiled.

"How much was it?" She asked, "I don't want you spending too much money on a gift,"

"Umm... It was only... 173 dollars all together," Joel shrugged. "But I only paid 138,"

"JOEL!" Sonny shrieked. His mom laughed and Sonny quickly looked at her in surprise.

"Oh Sonny, just say thank you and leave this boy alone," Mrs. Moore laughed and patted Joel on the shoulder, "But really, Joel, you didn't have to do that,"

Joel shrugged, "I wanted to," He smiled at Sonny. Sonny smiled back and then took a deep breath.

As they continued eating the cake as the silence took over. Joel helped Sonny hook up the system and update his laptop and everything while Mrs. Moore cleared the table and was scrubbing plates in the kitchen. When Sonny finally got the program up and running, his mom was done and came into the room to see what was going on. She watched as Sonny put a couple frequencies into the notes he played. Sonny smiled up at Joel and then looked over to his mother and smiled wider. His mom loved how happy her son was. Sonny looked down at the table just then and bit his bottom lip, his nerves were all jumbled and he was starting to get second thoughts about what he was about to say and do next. He wanted time to think, he needed more time to talk this over with Joel and come to a good conclusion. But by the time he opened his mouth, he knew it was too late.

"Mom..." Sonny said. Not smiling. Not looking at Joel anymore. Instead he looked at his mother. Mrs. Moore raised an eyebrow and looked at her son with question, "There's something I need to tell you, but you... might want to sit down for this," He said quietly and then looked down at the table, "You too Joel."

"Sonny..." Joel started, but Sonny shook his head slowly. Joel silenced himself and slowly sat down, in fear of what Sonny was about to do.

"What's going on?" His mother asked quietly, "Did you get a girl pregnant?"

Sonny chuckled and shook his head. That would've been much easier to confess to his mom than what he was about to say.

"I just... do you ever know that feeling when you have strong emotional relations with someone... but you're afraid to tell anyone about them because you're afraid you might be... judged or... looked upon differently?"

"Yes... when I first met your father..." Mrs. Moore went silent and just looked at her son when she didn't get the reaction she had hoped for. She quickly glanced over at Joel to see if he knew anything about this, but he just looked down at Sonny's hands on the table. She looked back at Sonny, "Sonny...?"

"Mom, I'm gay." He said quietly and closed his eyes quickly.

"God dammit," She whispered harshly under her breath.

The room went uncomfortably quiet. Joel looked down at Sonny with a tiny smile and then back up at Mrs. Moore. The anger from her face left and her eyebrows raised slowly, as if she's just realized something. She didn't look at her son, instead she looked at the table. Joel just watched as she slowly got herself to look at Sonny.

"Sonny," She whispered. He quickly looked up with tears running down his cheeks. She didn't smile, but her eyes were watering, "It's okay,"

Joel pursed his lips in surprise and looked over at Sonny, completely surprised at that reaction. Joel put a hand on Sonny's shoulder and gave it a quiet rub.

"And mom..." Sonny croaked, barely audible. Sonny placed a hand on Joel's and Joel felt his heartbeat quicken when Sonny's mom glanced at him daringly. Joel looked at their hands and felt a warm sensation pulse through him. Mrs. Moore peered up into Sonny's eyes with the reflected tear that ran down her face. "This is my boyfriend, Joel Zimmerman,"

"Sonny..." She whispered, and as soon as she did, the tears were rolling down her cheeks uncontrollably.

"I love him, mom," Sonny whispered hoarsely, "He was the one who saved me from starvation... saved me from my lonely suffocation... saved me from myself..."

"Sonny, that's enough!" She shouted and then quickly closed her eyes when she saw the fear in her son's, "Sonny... I understand... I-I... please excuse me," She said and ran off down the hallway and into her bedroom.

Sonny just sat there and stared at the table, dried tears on his face. Joel leaned down and wrapped his arms around his small frame.

"Shhh," Joel whispered and kissed Sonny's temple when he felt the smaller boy start to shake under him, "It's going to be okay... everything will be fine... she just needs a little time to herself," He promised and pressed his cheek to Sonny's head, "Wanna take a walk or something? Get out of the house for a bit?"

Sonny nodded and slowly got up. They put the new gifts in Sonny's room and got dressed in their warmest jackets. Sonny wore a black jacket that was a little puffy, and Joel had one much thinner that made him appear even taller in comparison. Sonny had tried to force Joel to take one of his dad's old ones, but Joel refused, assuring Sonny that he was immune to the cold.

As they walked down the street, Joel held out his fingerless-gloved hand to Sonny, who gladly held on to it with his own. Sonny didn't really care anymore at who saw him. Even the kids at school knew he was gay, but they wouldn't _dare_ try to pick on him. They knew Sonny was dating the _Deadmouse_.

It was funny how everyone found out actually. After a month of recovery, Sonny was back in school and the person who walked around with him all day was, Indeed, the _Deadmouse._ During Sonny's recovery on his hand, he had to go back to the hospital often so the doctor could make sure he was mentally stable. He and Joel would stay up late and help recreate Joel's mouse head. It took a lot of work, but they soon got it all buffed up, shined, and coated with a solid red paint with help from the staff -because they had all thought Joel and Sonny's relationship was just so cute- it was finished, and Joel had worn it to walk Sonny to his locker. All of the school staff knew who the masked man was, as he was encouraged to wear a Visitor's Pass, but the looks on the students faces were priceless as the mysterious 6-foot-tall man with the giant red mouse head walked hand-in-hand with a short boy with a half-shaved head of hair. Sonny kept smiling to the point where his cheeks hurt.

Still, Sonny didn't have a lot of friends, but not one nasty note was taped to his locker. Not one rude comment was shouted at him. They all knew Joel, and they all knew Joel would beat 6 kinds of shit out of them if they even laid a _finger_ on his boyfriend.

_Boyfriend. _

It was such a strange word to Sonny that he rarely even used it, and when he did, he felt his skin heat up and his heart try to beat faster. It would be different if he said _girlfriend. _Even though everyone knew what he was, he still wasn't sure if he was comfortable enough to admit it. Of course he's comfortable enough to be with Joel though. Joel wants everyone to know who he's dating. He's stubborn. Sonny had learned that over the past few months that they've been together.

Joel tugged on Sonny's hand and brought him across the street. A few cars honked at them, but Joel flipped them off and continued to trot across the busy lane. Sonny couldn't help but laugh and be dragged along with it. When they reached the other side of he street, on the side walk, Joel smiled down at Sonny who looked up in confusion. What was Joel's evil scheme? Where was he taking Sonny?

"I want you to close your eyes," Joel said softly.

Sonny obeyed, but couldn't help at gnawing on his bottom lip. He felt the atmosphere change as he felt himself being dragged into a building, but not once did he peek. He was seated on a chair and then Joel's presence slipped away. Sonny found himself panic a little and finally opened his eyes and looked around without permission. The building was dark instead of the few streams of light from the dim lamp posts outside. The snow was still dancing softly outside and cast shadows across the naked, hardwood floor of the building. The insides were nice, but the floors were a little dusty, but he could tell people have been walking around in there recently. He kicked his feet mindlessly under the tall wooden chair. Just then he heard a crash of glass and snort come from the other room. Sonny raised an eyebrow but remained completely still. To be honest, he was feeling a bit frightened.

A door swung open and the light from the other room spilled into the room in which Sonny sat quietly in. A few people piled into the room holding various items. Noise makers, confetti poppers, and kazoos went off. Sonny laughed when he saw Joel wearing ridiculous, completely out-of-character silver cheetah-print tights, red high-heeled pumps, a purple sequinned top with feathers sprawling out the shoulders, and a face caked with silver, purple, and glittery make up. He awkwardly walked out holding a normal-sized caked, his shiny red lips spread into a twisted grin as his eyebrows pulled together in seduction. Sonny's cheeks burned with both embarrassment and... well yeah, just embarrassment. But he couldn't help but smile at the enthusiasm in which his boyfriend had.

"Sonny, darling," Joel sneered in a very fluent and stuck-up tone, "This is my friend Anton and his mate Daniel. And this is Sofi and Gregory!" Joel smiled and placed the lit cake in front of Sonny.

They sang happy birthday in a very awful, out-of-tune symphony, but Sonny enjoyed it anyway. He's never really had friends to hang out with on special occasions like these, but it felt good to know that he could be himself around people he liked, even if they were a little older then he was.

"So why are you dressed like that?" Sonny asked slowly, looking Joel up and down.

Joel huffed and crossed a long leg over the other, "I wanted to express my inner manhood. Miss Idiot-Sofi doesn't know what a _'clown' _is," He snapped his gaze at Sofi who laughed. Sonny sighed and then leaned over and kissed his boyfriend's painted lips. A chorus of _awww_'s came from the others.

"That reminds me, we all bought you presents! Open mine first!" Sofi exclaimed and ran into the other room. She came back dragging a few presents into the room and then tossed Sonny a neatly wrapped, animal-printed present with a silk bow.

Sonny smiled and tore the paper off the gift. The box was plain and white, but it was slightly heavy. Sonny slowly opened the box and then blushed when he looked inside of it. Sofi giggled.

"Well, what is it?" Joel demanded.

Sonny pressed his lips together and shook his head. Zedd grabbed the box and fished inside of it for the item. When he pulled it out, everyone slowly turned to glare at Sofi. She was laughing. Sonny covered his face with his hands. It was a huge, pink rubber sex toy with multiple vibration settings and studs running all down the sides of it. Joel looked at it with disgust.

"Well that... was very thoughtful of you," Joel said sarcastically and slapped Sofi playfully on the arm. Sonny awkwardly hugged Sofi and quickly sat back down.

"This is from me," Gregory laughed, handing over a smaller gift. Sonny prayed it wasn't flavoured lube.

When he opened it, he frowned. It was L'Oreal strawberry shampoo and orange tangerine bubble bath. Everyone laughed, including Joel. Sonny sighed in displeasure, but hugged Gregory anyway.

"Just incase you guys wanted to take a sexy bubble bath or anything," Gregory shrugged. Joel snorted.

Zedd and Daniel handed their gift to Sonny and without thinking, unwrapped it quickly and then groaned in frustration. Chocolate-flavoured lube.

"What the hell do you guys think we'll be doing all weekend? I'm only 16!" Sonny shrieked.

"I want grandchildren!" Zedd exclaimed. Joel rolled his eyes but laughed anyway.

Sonny laughed as well and then sighed and placed all the "gifts" on the table. He one-by-one gave everyone a good, long hug. They continued their party until the night grew late and everyone left the building.

"Happy birthday, Sonny," Sofi hugged Sonny and pecked him on the cheek, "Take care of this dufus," She poked Joel in the stomach and winked back at the shorter boy before leaving.

Sonny sighed and sat back down. Joel smiled and locked the door, walking over to the table and kicking off the extremely high heels. He sank into the chair and sighed. Sonny raised an eyebrow at Joel.

"Tired?" Sonny asked in almost a whisper.

"No, I just feel old," Joel groaned. Sonny rolled his eyes, "You're sixteen and I'm almost twenty. _Twenty fucking years old._" Joel shook his head. Sonny smiled and pushed himself off the chair, walking toward Joel. He kissed his temple and smiled.

"You're not old," He assured him. Joel shrugged.

"Also, I got to tell you something," Joel shuffled uncomfortably. Sonny watched him with eager and frightened eyes as he looked down at his hands.

"Y-yes?" Sonny asked, not really sure if he wanted to hear it or not.

"I... got a..." Joel bit his lip and looked up at Sonny. A rippling smile suddenly spread across his face, "I got a motherfucking_ job_!"

Sonny jumped a little at the enthusiasm but then smiled widely, "I'm so proud of you! When? Why? Where? How?"

"Well Sofi's mom got me a part-time at her house-cleaning business -because apparently I'm _that good- _, plus a got a permanent gig at the Sunset Centre every Friday night, I can get you one there too! I never told you because I wanted it to be a surprise for when I got you your present," He chuckled.

Sonny smiled a watery smile and then bit his lip and closed his eyes. He removed his glasses to rub his eyes as Joel notice he was full on crying. Joel got up quickly and wrapped his arms around Sonny.

"Shh, shh, baby, what's wrong?" Joel whispered into his ear.

"I-I'm just so m-madly in love with you right now," Sonny choked and wrapped his arms tightly around Joel.

"I love you so so very much," Joel whispered and kissed Sonny's hair. He pulled back and looked into Sonny's dark, watery eyes and then stroked the back of his fingers along his cheekbone. He leaned his head down and connected his lips ever-so-lightly to Sonny's, feeling the heat of his breath wash over his own lips.

Sonny got up from his chair and pushed Joel lightly back into his own. They didn't let each other go. Sonny slid a leg in between Joel's thighs, then the other. He pushed his hips into Joel's groin and the older man let his lips go to gasp, "I don't think we should let those gifts go to waste, eh?" Sonny whispered into Joel's ear and felt him shudder underneath him.

"I fucking love you," Joel whispered hoarsely and captured Sonny's lips once again.

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**THE END.**


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